Memories and Melodies
by DarkElements10
Summary: Kendall has never been known as the guy that would give up when things got tough; but he might not be able to resist the urge to have it end. Trying to find closure with his father, keeping his friends from finding out why, and trying to fix everything is slowly pushing him to the edge. Friendship, family, and love are the only things that can help him now. For suckerforlovestory.
1. Meetings and Hospials

**Memories and Melodies**

**By: Riley**

**Kendall has never been known as the guy that would give up when things got tough; but he might not be able to resist the urge to have it all end.**

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**.:Chapter 01:.**

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"Your total will be…seventy-five dollars and twenty three cents. Will that be cash or charge?"

Kendall Knight turned away from the register in front of him to look at his customer, an elderly lady, and had a mental meltdown when he saw that she was digging through her purse. It wasn't that she was looking for her money that bothered him; it was the fact that he could see that it was going to take a while. There were receipts, tissue packets, napkins, tubes of lipstick and mascara, lollipops, a mini umbrella, wallet, a notepad, pens, keys, chapstick, at least two pairs of earrings, gum, a light bulb, deodorant, a camera, batteries, a little memory sick, business cards….anything and everything else but money.

He already had a very long day, now he had to deal with a growing checkout line with someone who he was sure was really sweet, keeping him from being able to clock out and meet his friends to play some video games. It was the only thing that was going to give him a good stress relief, especially after having failed his science test. He could practically hear that annoying little voice in the back of his head saying 'you should have studied harder' but in his opinion, watching the hockey highlights was more important than one measly little science test.

"Oh! Here it is!" Kendall smiled as the older woman pulled her checkbook out of her purse. She gave Kendall a sweet smile, instantly making him regret the selfish thoughts that had crossed his mind moments before. "I'm sorry, what was the total again?"

"Seventy five dollars and twenty three cents," Kendall replied. He flipped his shaggy hair out of his green eyes, waiting for the check to be written out. Once the woman handed it over to him, he took the check and slid it through the reader. When the machine let him know that the check had been cleared, he took it, scribbled a pen across the back, and stuck it in the register drawer. He then ripped he long receipt out of the machine and handed it over to the woman. "Thanks for shopping at Sherwood, have a great day!"

The woman gave him another warm smile before taking her bags and loading them in her cart and walking out of the store. Kendall turned to the next customer and rang them through their groceries before shutting down his register. He pulled his apron off over his head and draped it over his arm before walking into the break room. He bumped into his manager, Mr. Stayton, on the way.

"Hey, my shift is over and I'm clocking out," Kendall said. He let out a tired yawn, rubbing a hand over his neck. "I'll be back in same time tomorrow."

"Good, good." Mr. Stayton nodded. "You did a good job today, Knight." He looked towards the ceiling in thought. "You're going to be working as a kart wrangler tomorrow, I have the registers filled and…I'm pretty sure that you're getting tired of having the customers scream at you for a lifetime."

Kendall gave a wry smile.

Throughout that day, he had customer after customer blame him for their coupons, which had been expired for weeks, being declined. It wasn't his fault that the policy wouldn't let them take coupons that were over two weeks old. But it was still kinda funny to see how worked up they would get the calmer her got. He had been able to see that some people turned a very interesting shade of pink, red, or magenta the angrier they got. It was almost as much fun as Grocery Kart Golf with his best friends.

"Actually, from the smile on your face, I think they were getting more annoyed with you," Mr. Stayton said, with a laugh. He reached out and clapped Kendall on the shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow, Knight."

"See you." Kendall gave a wave and stepped around his boss, heading into the break room.

He hung up his apron in the small locker that had been assigned to him, along with the gloves, gray beanie, and his backpack. He could see the failed test poking out of the top, reminding him that he needed to have his mother sign it. Kendall shoved the test down into the depths of his backpack and pulled out his jacket. He zipped up his backpack and pulled on his jacket before grabbing his beanie. Firmly pressing a hand against the locker door, he closed it with a sharp push, the feeling of the cool metal under his hand, allowing it to calm him down.

The cold did that to him sometimes. It was a good way for him to clear his head and to let him gather his thoughts.

Kendall pulled his beanie down over his hair and pulled his jacket tighter around him as he walked out the backdoor of the grocery store. He hitched his backpack up his back and started the walk back home. Along the way, he tried to think of a way to convince his mother that his failing grade wasn't a big deal. She was a stickler for education, deeming it as the most important thing in someone's life. It wasn't his top priority, honestly, that was always going to be hockey, but he knew that his mother was right to some extent. Enough so that he was scared for her to figure out what grade he got.

Kendall looked at his watch and started to walk faster, knowing that his best friends were really going to lay into him when he finally arrived so they could start playing video games. It was bad enough that Logan and James were both sticklers for being on time, but Carlos acted like a puppy if you were ever late. He jumped on you with so much enthusiasm when you walked through the door, that you wondered how he was able to function when he was alone. Kendall ducked down an ally, taking a shortcut. When he popped out of the other side, he darted across the street and headed up the sidewalk. But he moved so quickly that he didn't notice the patch of ice until he slammed back onto the ground.

"Oof!"

Kendall's eyes closed and he let out a low groan of pain, lying on his stomach. In the fall, his backpack slipped forward and was now resting half on his upper back, half on the back of his head. His hands were crushed underneath him, one by his chest, and the other under his stomach. He had fallen so hard that he had knocked some of the wind out of him. Kendall turned his head to the side, resting it on the ground, sucking in a sharp breath of air. He groaned again when he felt stinging pain across his chest.

"So, you know that thing that people do when they put one foot in front of the other? It's called walking. You may want to try it sometime."

Kendall looked up to see a teenage girl standing over him, bent at the waist so she could see him clearly. His green eyes locked onto her blue ones and he two looked at each other in silence. Kendall slowly pushed himself up so he was on his knees, not breaking eye contact with her. He felt himself being drawn to her for some reason, completely mesmerized. She raised an eyebrow as she straightened, but she didn't look away either.

"S'matter, mate? D'you lose your ability to talk?"

"No, but I got a fist to the gut," Kendall said. He leaned forward slightly, briefly squeezing his eyes shut as he waited for another flash of pain to pass.

"Oh, so Little Blonde Beanie Hood has a voice!" The girl smirked before reaching out a hand. Kendall grabbed onto it and allowed himself to get pulled to his feet with one strong pull from her. He stumbled forward a step, looking down at her. Standing at five foot eleven he seemed to tower over her five foot three frame, but it was comfortable for him. He noticed the warmth in his hand and quickly let go of hers.

"And so do you," Kendall remarked. His eyes moved over her face, noticing that her cheeks and nose were bright red. "Rudolph." He was surprised when he noticed the girl's eyes narrow into slits, her dark blue eyes flashing. "I like your accent," he said quickly. "Are you…British?"

"Australian, actually," she quickly corrected him. "What's up with your collarbone?"

"Huh?"

Kendall didn't notice the pain; he had pushed it to the back of his mind, until she brought it up. He winced as he moved his arm, feeling it pulse again. This time the pain was so sharp he felt like his legs would give out. Another quiet groan leaked from his mouth. "I'm ok."

The girl snorted. "No, you're not." She stepped closer to him and pulled the collar of his shirt aside, using her other hand to press her index and finger fingers to his collar bone. Despite how cold it was outside and her lack of wearing gloves, her fingers were hot against his skin, causing goose bumps to immediately rise. "You broke it," she said matter of fact.

"It wouldn't be the first time," Kendall replied with more of a weary sigh than annoyance. He couldn't help but think of all of the times that he had been smashed into the boards by opponents that were desperate to keep him from making a goal. "Oh!" Kendall moved his good arm and held it out. "I'm Kendall Knight."

The girl looked at him for a long moment before swinging her right arm and slapped her hand into his, giving it a firm shake. "Nice to meet you, I guess." She turned her head away, pulling her phone out of her pocket and looking at it. She ignored Kendall for a moment before looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "D'you need to go to the hospital?"

"Probably," Kendall replied. Most of the times that he had gotten hurt during hockey he would just wait for everything to stop hurting and heal it at home. But breaks were trickier, especially when he wasn't sure what kind of a break it was and how long it was going to put him out of commission.

"Well, unfortunately, I'm stuck with you, because I witnessed this whole thing." The girl roughly shoved her phone back into her pocket. She rolled her head to look at him again. She tilted her head to the side, smirking again. "Until your mummy comes to get you." She lifted her right hand and Kendall noticed a bandage that went from her bicep down to her fingers. "Hospital's this way, right?"

"Right." Kendall shifted his backpack onto his other arm and slowly turned around, making sure that he didn't move his other arm too much or it would send a lightning bolt of pain down his arm. "Uh, you didn't tell me your name."

The girl studied him as the two continued to walk down the street, being careful of any piles of slush and spots of black ice. "…Name's Riley," She finally said after a long moment.

"I don't even get your last name?" Kendall pushed his fringe out of his face. He took the chance to look her up and down, taking in her black hair with red streaks that was pulled back into a long ponytail and dark blue eyes. She was wearing a red sweatshirt over a pair of black jeans and black boots. Definitely not suited for the cold weather.

"You're going to have to figure out that one yourself," Riley replied mysteriously. "Most people want to forget my name when they hear it."

"I don't believe that," Kendall denied.

"Believe what you want," Riley said carelessly. A strong wind blew and she pulled the sleeves to her sweatshirt down over her hands, shoving them into the front pocket of her sweatshirt. She ducked her head so her face was out of the way of the wind and Kendall could hear her mutter "stupid, cold, weather" under her breath.

"It's not that bad," Kendall tried to reassure her the best that he could. It was a bit awkward, really, he didn't know her from any other person on the street, but he felt a need to make her feel better in some way.

"Yeah, well, you haven't lived in only warm climate places all your life," Riley pointed out. She pulled her hands out of her sweatshirt pocket long enough to pull up her hood. Kendall smiled a little, noticing that she looked like a little kid, as her sweatshirt was bigger than she was. It was kind of worn at the ends of the sleeves, with holes big enough for her thumbs to fit through, but she didn't seem bothered by it. In fact, as Kendall took in more of her appearance, he was surprised that she wasn't freezing. Her shoes had a hole in the toes and her jeans had holes in the knees, probably making her colder than she was letting on.

"Do you want to use my jack-"

"No!" Riley said with so much bite that Kendall took a step away from her. "I'm fine!"

"O-ok," Kendall said. "If you're sure." The two continued to walk to the hospital in silence. Kendall's mind wandered to which doctor he thought that he was going to get. He had been there enough times to know almost every doctor that was there and who was better what procedure. For concussions he had a choice of two doctors, for sprains he usually got Dr. Cohen, for casts he usually got Dr. Manning, but for splints and mild to severe work, he got Dr. Ames, who he was sure was still on the clock. _I wonder what mom is gonna say? This is the third time I've gone to the hospital in five months._

"You a hockey player?"

Kendall looked over at Riley and saw that she was looking at him with an expectant look on his face. He blinked once, her question settling into his brain, and then nodded. "Oh, yeah, I am. How'd you know?" At the 'duh' look on his face, he looked down to see that he was wearing his high school jersey. "Small talk, right?"

"Small talk is for people who have absolutely nothing to say," Riley said mysteriously. "And I hate small talk almost as much as I hate talking about absolutely nothing." She raised and lowered her right shoulder in a shrug. "I was just wondering what kind of guy you are."

"And what kind of guy am I?" Kendall pressed. Riley didn't answer. Instead she started walking faster. Kendall looked up to see that they had arrived at the hospital. The two moved through the front door and Riley looked around before walking up to the receptionist's desk. "Hey, this guy here may have a broken collar bone; someone needs to look at him."

The receptionist looked at Kendall and gave a small before she grabbed a clipboard, handing it over to him. "Yes, we get Mr. Knight here a lot. Just fill this out and have a seat and you'll be called when it's your turn to go in." Riley took the clipboard and handed it to Kendall as she moved over to a set of empty seats.

"Uh, I can't," Kendall said as he slowly sat down. "My right hand is-"

"Son of a bitch," Riley muttered under her breath, taking the clipboard back from him. She grabbed the pen and took the cap off with her teeth. "Name: Kendall Knight. Age: Sixteen."

"How'd you know-"

"I was taking a guess, since you seem to be about my age," Riley interrupted him. "Date of birth?"

"November second," Kendall said.

Riley wrote that down. "Any pre-existing medical concerns? Freakishly large eyebrows and an even bigger nose." Kendall moved forward to see if she was writing it down and frowned, leaning back in his seat when he noticed that Riley's hand was still sitting over the clipboard, not making a move to write. "Sorry, but you should have clearance on those things."

"Just a bad knee," Kendall said through gritted teeth. "They should know about that by now."

"Allergic to any medication?"

"No."

"Any recent surgeries?"

"No."

"Anything that needs to be noted that you're concerned about?"

"No."

"Are you sure about that?"

Kendall turned to look at her and she defiantly looked back at him, raising his chin a little. His eyebrows lowered as he studied her again. "So how come you're learning all of these things about me and I haven't leaned a single thing about you?"

"I'm just good," Riley replied. She looked up as a doctor walked towards them. "I'm guessing this bloke is for you? He shook his head in a funny way when before coming over." She bobbed her head. "Though I think you're funny looking too, but that's not my call."

"Ahh, Mr. Knight," Dr. Ames said kindly. He looked at Kendall over the top of his glasses. "I thought I told you that I didn't want to see you for another two months at the most?"

Kendall gave a half smile. "Well, what can I say, doc, I just couldn't stay away."

Dr. Ames smiled and turned to Riley, his eyebrows rising in surprise. "Miss. Jackson, I didn't expect to see you here so soon. How're the bandages holding up? You're not getting them wet are you? I know it'll be tricky in the shower."

"No, things are fine," Riley replied calmly. Kendall couldn't help but note that she was being friendlier to the doctor than she had been to him. "I think by now I would know how to make sure that my dressings are taken care of." She sat up straight. "Is my sister still here?"

"Yeah, she's coming out of the room in a couple of minutes," Dr. Ames said with a smile. "I know you must have been worried. Your brothers called enough." He looked around for a moment before looking back at her. "I know that I shouldn't do this, but you can go back and see her. I know she hasn't been discharged yet but I think they'll let it slide this time if you let them know, that I sent you back there."

"Great." Riley stood up and haphazardly tossed the clipboard into Kendall's lap. "Hoo roo." She turned on her heel and walked in the direction that Dr. Ames had pointed her to. Kendall watched as she disappeared down the hallway.

_Jackson huh? _Kendall turned to address the doctor himself. "So, should I call my mom now or wait until after I get checked out? I don't know which would be better because she'll be equally upset I've ended up here again."

Dr. Ames laughed.

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_Scorpio loves controlling things from behind-the-scenes. They are like the master puppeteer._

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**A/N: **This story has lots of friendship, hurt/comfort, family, and WAFF moments as well as Kogan, Kames, and Jarlos bromance moments. Those are my top three bromances, but if you want to see the others, please let me know as the story goes on.

Kendall/OC, Kile, Knight Light fic for suckerforlovestory

Alternate Title: Nothing Left But Ashes Of Doubt.

**Constructive Criticism is welcome.**

Cheers,

-Riles


	2. Opportunities and Vibes

**.:Chapter 02:.**

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"Seriously, Kendall, didn't you learn your lesson after breaking your collarbone the last time?" Logan winced as he held a pile of snow up to his face. He hoped that it would take down the swelling, but he wouldn't know for sure until he was able to get to a first aid kit. "How could you _not_ think that they were going to come after us with their hockey sticks?"

Kendall's shoulders rose, sending a shock of pain through his muscles. "I didn't think that the field hockey team could run that fast." Despite the bruising and swelling around his mouth, chin, and eyes, he had a cheeky smile on his face. "And the broken collar bone hurt much worse."

"But you had your own personal nurse then," Carlos teased. His laughter was cut off by his groan of pain; causing him to wrap his arms around his stomach. He squeezed his eyes shut as another stab of pain rocketed through his gut. "Ugh, why does laughing have to hurt so much?"

"Just as long as they didn't hurt my face, it's worth it," James said. His large smile rivaled Kendall's, though it wasn't for the entertainment of their prank. He just liked the attention from those girls in general. "It was so worth it; good practice for when I become famous." He still had Carlos's hockey helmet on, to protect his face but the protective plate had been lifted so he could see his friends. "Who knew that turning a t-valve would make them _that _pissed?"

Kendall laughed and the two high-fived.

"It wasn't the turning of the t-valve that pissed them off, it was _soaking them_ that pissed 'em off," Logan reminded them. His stern look melted to a small smile. "Ok, it was pretty sweet." He joined Kendall, James, and Carlos in their laughter as Carlos reached over and put Logan in a headlock, roughly rubbing a hand through his hair.

"And it wasn't my fault that the janitor left the t-valve in the sprinkler system," Kendall defended himself, holding his hands up, palms out. "That's just being irresponsible if you ask me. Besides, it was _begging _to be messed with. It was calling my name!"

"And so is your mom," Logan said. "At least, she'll be yelling at you when she finds out about it." Kendall dismissed it with a wave of his hand. "I mean, first it was your broken collar bone, then it was your failed science test, now you got beat up by a bunch of girls." He smirked at Kendall. "Correction, your mom's not going to yell at you, she's going to wonder if there's something wrong with you."

"Whatever, dude."

"Excuse me?" The four boys turned around to see a nine year old boy standing behind them, in a light jacket and jeans. He had his hands shoved deep into his jeans pockets and the boys could see that he was shivering. "Do any of you have a phone that I could use? I just need to call my dad."

"Yeah. Sure." Logan reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone, handing it over to the boy. "Are you lost?"

"Kinda turned around," the boy replied as he looked it over before he started to punch in a number. "This is only the second time that I've been in Minnesota, the last time; I was stuck in the hotel room while we were here. I'm not really sure where anything is." He lowered the phone, seeming to enjoy talking to the boys more than being worried about looking for his Dad. "Did you know that it gets really cold here?"

"We should by now," Carlos said with a laugh. "We've lived here all of our lives." He reached out and smacked Logan on the back of the head. "Except Logan, we stole him from Texas." Logan scowled and slapped Carlos back, whacking him on the arm as hard as he could.

"Texas, huh?" The boy's eyebrows rose. His dark blue eyes studied Logan carefully, as if he was trying to figure out where he had seen him before. But it was impossible, the boy was too young to have known Logan well and he did just say that it was only his second time in Minnesota. "I used to live there, for, like a year or so, I don't really remember it." He shrugged and turned back to the phone.

"It must not have been that great of a place if you moved from there too." James laughed and Logan turned his attention to his taller friend, trying to take a swipe at his face.

Kendall laughed along with Carlos before turning his attention to the young boy. He was punching his thumbs over the keypad, his eyebrows lowered in concentration. Moving his mouth to the side, he studied the boy. He sort of looked familiar to him, though he had never seen him before. The way that his blue eyes were set in his face, cheekbones, and the jaw line, was all familiar to him.

"Sorry, but have we-"

"Syd! There you are!"

The boy looked over his shoulder before turning back to Logan, holing out his phone. Logan took the moment to stop trying to beat up James and took it back from him. The boy then turned to the girl that was walking up to them, holding his arms out at his sides. "It's not my fault!" He said as soon as she was in ear shot. "I don't know my way around here!"

"Which was why I suggested that one of us come with you in the first place," the girl replied. Though she sounded annoyed, she was clearly concerned over the boy. "You may be smart, but you can be kinda dumb sometimes." She tapped him on the head with her knuckles. Her gaze then lifted to the boys behind her.

Kendall's eyes widened. He gaped as he pointed at her, causing her eyebrow to rise. "Hey, it's you!" He cried before smiling warmly.

Now half of the girl's face was screwed up in confusion. "It's me," she said slowly. She glanced at 'Syd' before placing her hands on her hips. "I've been me as long as I can remember." Syd smiled and laughed quietly, causing the girl to smile as well. She turned back to Kendall. "Any particular reason why you're staring, mate?"

Kendall lowered his arm. Frowning, his hitched his backpack up his back, feeling Logan's, James's, and Carlos's gazes all on the side of his face, watching to see what would happen. "The hospital? Remember?" He let out a frustrated sigh when she continued to look at him, her eyes flicking as she looked him up and down. "Broken collar bone a few months back? You took me to the hospital to get it checked out?" Letting out a sigh, Kendall placed a hand on his chest. "Kendall. Remember?"

"I'm Sydney," the little boy spoke up. He gave a short wave and a shy smile before turning to the girl beside him. "And this is my sister, Rhuben. "

She looked the boys up and down before nodding in greeting. She placed her hand on Sydney's shoulder. "Love to stay and chat, boys, but we're late for a meeting. Thanks for letting my brother use your phone." Sydney shrugged and waved at the guys before he turned with his sister and walked down the sidewalk.

Kendall turned on his heel and continued walking towards his house. "Don't say it!" He warned, knowing that his best friends were about to burst out laughing. He sighed through his nose, closing his eyes, when he was met with the sound of hysterical laughter and hands slapping him on the back. "It's not that funny."

"You must not have made a good impression if she doesn't remember you," Carlos teased. He reached out a finger and pushed it into Kendall's cheek, where his dimple sat. "Poor Kendall, for once in his life, he can't get a girl." Letting out a yelp, Carlos pulled his hand away as Kendall twisted his head to the side, snapping his teeth at his finger.

"Don't worry," James added. "You were bound to strike out some time." He adjusted his shirt before running a hand through his hair. "It doesn't happen to me, but it was bound to happen to you."

"Knock it off, alright?!" Kendall reached out and smacked the helmet off of James's head. James let out a slight screech before diving for the plastic, wanting to keep his face covered. "Ooh, not so tough without having something to protect your delicate face, huh?"

"Hey, my face is sacred! Ok?" James grabbed the helmet and put it back on his head, moving the face plate down. "And I need to take care of it if it's going to help me get to Los Angeles and become a star!" He stuck his tongue out at Kendall.

"Whatever." Kendall rolled his eyes before turning to Logan. He nudged him on the arm. "Dude, what's with you? One minute you're trying to claw James's eyes out, the next you're a fucking space cadet." Kendall pushed his hands into his jacket pockets, hoping to warm up his hands a little bit.

"It's nothing." Shrugging, Logan managed to shift the attention off of him. "Nothing important anyway." He reached out and put a hand on Kendall's shoulder. "So are we going to your house?"

"Might as well," Kendall shrugged. "It's the closest one." He started walking faster and led the boys to his house. Pulling his keys from his pocket, Kendall unlocked the front door and went inside to find the house empty. _Mom's probably at work_ he reasoned, allowing the other guys to troop in and drop their things to the ground and troop into the living room to watch some TV. Kendall went into the kitchen and opened the freezer to get out some ice packs for everyone. He didn't know about them, but his face was really starting to ache.

He walked back into the living room and passed out the ice packs before taking off his jacket and throwing it in a nearby arm chair. Flopping down on to the couch, Kendall propped his feet up on the table and tried to focus on the music video that they were watching. He smiled when he recognized it as the Pussycat Dolls' video _When I Grow Up._

"The Pussycat Dolls make the pain go away," he said with a devilish smile on his face.

"Hell yeah!" James agreed. He let out a wistful sigh as Nicole Scherzinger appeared on screen, singing the chorus of the song. "I'm going to marry her one day." He crossed his arms over his chest and extended his legs to its full length as he slouched down, his ass resting on the edge of the couch.

"_You're _going to marry Nicole Scherzinger?" Logan snorted in disbelief. "How?"

Kendall closed his eyes as James leapt to his feet and started to go through his spiel of his master plan of becoming rich and famous and getting as many houses as he could buy. Logan hadn't been around James nearly as long as Kendall has, who had known James since he was five, and it was basically all that he would talk about. Logan's somewhat ignorance about James's plan to marry Nicole was good, he and Carlos had to listen to it for years and he didn't seem to be giving up on that dream anytime soon.

His own dream was to become a hockey player for the Minnesota Wild, Logan's was to be a doctor, James was to be famous, and Carlos…no one knew what Carlos's was, but he had one. Kendall seemed to be the only one that was even close to make it to his dream. He had played pewee hockey before trying a traveling team. But he opted to go back to the pee wee team so he could be with his friends. It was no mistake that hockey was his passion and in his blood, he had trophies and ribbons from years of playing and now that he was in high school, he was the captain of his hockey team and had been since he was a freshman. He was the second person at his school to be able to do achieve that feat, and ever since he became the captain, the school's team won the championship each year.

It had hurt not only his team, but him when he had to sit out of multiple games due to his broken collar bone. He had been pissed about it, and for the months that he waited for the bone to heal, he couldn't stop thinking about it.

_"Oof!"_

_Kendall's eyes closed and he let out a low groan of pain, lying on his stomach. In the fall, his backpack slipped forward and was now resting half on his upper back, half on the back of his head. His hands were crushed underneath him, one by his chest, and the other under his stomach. He had fallen so hard that he had knocked some of the wind out of him. Kendall turned his head to the side, resting it on the ground, sucking in a sharp breath of air. He groaned again when he felt stinging pain across his chest._

_"So, you know that thing that people do when they put one foot in front of the other? It's called walking. You may want to try it sometime."_

_Kendall looked up to see a teenage girl standing over him, bent at the waist so she could see him clearly. His green eyes locked onto her blue ones and he two looked at each other in silence. Kendall slowly pushed himself up so he was on his knees, not breaking eye contact with her. He felt himself being drawn to her for some reason, completely mesmerized. She raised an eyebrow as she straightened, but she didn't look away either._

_"S'matter, mate? D'you lose your ability to talk?"_

_"No, but I got a fist to the gut," Kendall said. He leaned forward slightly, briefly squeezing his eyes shut as he waited for another flash of pain to pass._

_"Oh, so Little Blonde Beanie Hood has a voice!" The girl smirked before reaching out a hand. Kendall grabbed onto it and allowed himself to get pulled to his feet with one strong pull from her. He stumbled forward a step, looking down at her. Standing at five foot eleven he seemed to tower over her five foot three frame, but it was comfortable for him. He noticed the warmth in his hand and quickly let go of hers._

Then he had run into her again and she had made him feel like a fool. Acting like you didn't know someone was one thing, but saying that you had a different name was another.

_Now half of the girl's face was screwed up in confusion. "It's me," she said slowly. She glanced at 'Syd' before placing her hands on her hips. "I've been me as long as I can remember." Syd smiled and laughed quietly, causing the girl to smile as well. She turned back to Kendall. "Any particular reason why you're staring, mate?"_

_Kendall lowered his arm. Frowning, his hitched his backpack up his back, feeling Logan's, James's, and Carlos's gazes all on the side of his face, watching to see what would happen. "The hospital? Remember?" He let out a frustrated sigh when she continued to look at him, her eyes flicking as she looked him up and down. "Broken collar bone a few months back? You took me to the hospital to get it checked out?" Letting out a sigh, Kendall placed a hand on his chest. "Kendall. Remember?"_

He wondered if he really was going crazy. All of a sudden, Kendall was broken out of his thought as James frantically grabbed onto his arm and pulled him to his feet, screaming into his face about helping him get down to the Paramount so he could get an audition to sing for someone. Kendall closed his eyes, trying to block out all of the noise before he turned to Logan. "Logan has a driver's license!" he blurted out.

"So?" Logan looked as panic stricken as James did. "Even if I could drive, which I can't, I'd need someone over twenty-one to ride with me."

"Kendall! Do something!" James screeched.

"What are you looking at me for?" He was already tired of the yelling. "Logan's the genius."

"But I panic under pressure and you always come up with the answer," Logan shot back. Kendall looked over at Logan and saw that he was looking up at him with pleading eyes. Green eyes sweeping over James and Carlos, Kendall already had the feeling that he was going to be the one that was going to figure out the answer, even if he didn't know what that was going to be.

"What?" He tried to stall for time, thinking quickly. "That is so not true and-"he cut himself off, looking to the side as a thought slammed into his brain. "I know how to get there!"

* * *

Katie Knight waved to her friend Maddie as her father pulled away from the curb in front of her house. She hitched her backpack up her shoulder and opened the door, seconds before falling to the ground. _What the? _Katie looked around to see that she had tripped over a pile of backpacks that were sitting in the middle of the doorway. "Kendall!" Huffing, she pulled herself to her feet and stormed towards the kitchen, kicking the backpacks out of her way. "Kendall!"

"He's not here, sweetie," her mother said as she looked up from the stack of mail that was in her hands. "He and the boys must have gone somewhere." Noticing the angry look on Katie's face, Mrs. Knight gave a gentle smile and ran her fingers through her daughter's hair, pulling her into her side for a hug. "What's wrong?"

"I just bashed my knee in the floor because of their stupid backpacks sitting all over the floor!" Katie spat, glaring over her shoulder back down the hallway.

"Do you need some ice?" Mrs. Knight turned her attention back to the letters that were in her hand.

"No." Katie's scowl deepened as she walked over to the table and sat down, dropping her backpack down her arm to the ground with a dull thud. Hearing a sharp intake of breath, she looked over at her mother to see that she had an open letter in her hand and was staring intently at it. "Mom, is everything ok?"

Startled, Mrs. Knight dropped the envelope and knocked the stack of mail off of the table. She bent down and started to gather everything together as Katie moved out of her seat to help. Bills, bills, and more bills were picked up off of the floor and when Mrs. Knight saw that Katie had the one letter she hoped she wouldn't see in her hand, she reached out and snapped it out of her daughter's hand as quickly as possible. Katie gave her mother a confused look, waiting for an answer. She wasn't sure what the letter was saying, but she recognized where it came from.

"Sweetie, why don't you get something to eat while I get changed and then I'll get started on dinner," Mrs. Knight suggested, gathering all of the letters together in her hand. She didn't give Katie a chance to answer before she was out of the room.

Watching her mother leave, Katie went back over to the table and sat down, picking her backpack up off of the ground. _Might as well get some homework done. _Katie opened her notebook and her math textbook, getting to work. Ten minutes later, she realized that there was no point to it. She didn't care, couldn't concentrate, and it was difficult enough that she was going to have to get Logan's help on it. It wasn't like she couldn't it aside and do what she wanted to do, her education was important. Everyone knew that hockey was Kendall's way out, but getting a good education was Katie's way out, how else was going to be able to take over the business world?

If she had her way, she wouldn't even be in Minnesota. St. Paul wasn't a good place to try and start your journey of becoming a CEO. But it was important to her mother and she wanted to make her proud in her own way. Besides, her mother was always worrying about something; if it wasn't keeping food on the table, it was that her kids were getting good grades, and above all, that they were happy. But how much happier could they be if their father wasn't going to be paying child support anymore?

She didn't understand a lot of what the letter said, but she understood that her father wasn't going to be helping them much longer. _Not that he does anyway. _

Katie was broken out of her thoughts when she heard the doorbell ring. She got up from her seat and followed her mother to the door. Mrs. Knight and Katie stared as Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James smiled sheepishly at her, police officers holding onto them. The flashers on top of the police cruisers were still going, bathing the house in a red glow.

"Hey mom, remember that time that I saved you from choking?" Kendall laughed nervously. "Wow, that was close!" Katie tilted her head up and looked at her mother to see her reaction. Even though she had a calm and collected demeanor, she could see that her mother was utterly shocked. "And, I love you!"

Katie slapped a hand to her forehead, shaking her head at the boys. They were always getting into some stupid mess or just doing something stupid and this time they got the police involved? Katie smiled. Oh yeah, this was going to be good, they were going to get it this time. Waiting in anticipation, Katie's eyes moved over to the cop car, tuning out as the police officer explained to Mrs. Knight what had happened.

Spotting movement by the car, she squinted and saw two boys about her age slowing as they walked by the car, looking it over. They looked up and saw Katie watching them and looked at each other. They then turned back to Katie and one of the boys waved a hand at her. Katie's eyebrows lowered in confusion before pointing to herself. He nodded and Katie looked up at her mother and, seeing that she was preoccupied, went into the kitchen to grab her coat. She then slipped out the back door and hurried across the backyard and around the side of the house. Katie looked at the cops and saw that they were still talking to Mrs. Knight, who looked angrier by the second.

"Seems to me that they're in a lot of trouble," the boy that had waved her over said.

"You have no idea," Katie remarked. "This is the dumbest thing they've ever done, being arrested, but they've done even dumber things." She rolled her eyes. "You won't believe how they created a massive kid pileup on broken ankle bridge."

"I can imagine." He boy laughed before nodding slightly. "I'm Patrick; this is my twin brother, Noah." Beside him, Noah smiled and nodded, pushing his hair out of his face. Even in the dark light, Katie could see a bit of a bruise on his forehead. Patrick noticed her gaze and nodded. "That's what happens when you don't hear someone's call of 'heads up' when you throw a snowball."

"Or if you just don't move fast enough in general," Noah muttered. He nodded towards the house. "So what'd they do to get busted? We saw em' around the Paramount today."

"I don't even know," Katie said. "At this point, I stopped caring, they're always ruining something. I heard that they were beat up and chased around by the field hockey team today. Pathetic really." She smirked before looking over the two boys curiously. It was strange, normally she was a shy person when it came to meeting new people, but this time she was having no problem with it. "You new around here? I haven't seen you before?"

"Kind of," Patrick said mysteriously. "We're here for a couple of days. We were here a few months ago, 'cause our Dad had a business meeting, but we were just stuck in the hotel the whole time." He exchanged a glance with Noah. "That's a lie, we got out a little bit, but we didn't see much."

"It's too cold here," Noah added. "Every time I take a breath I think my lungs are gonna collapse."

"You'll get used to it," Katie reassured him.

"I already am."

Blinking in confusion, Katie tilted her head to the side. She opened her mouth to ask what he meant. How could they get used to if they had just gotten there and hated the cold? That didn't make any sense. She didn't get a chance to ask because Mrs. Knight had noticed that she was outside and called her in.

"You better go; Katie, you don't want to keep your mum waiting." Katie's eyes widened. _How does he know my name?_ Noah smiled a little, though it dropped a second later. "I'm not stalking you or anything, don't worry. I've just heard it around; your brother is…ah, more well known than you think."

Katie nodded. "Yeah, a lot of people know him from hockey." She gave a nervous wave before backing up. "So…I guess I'll see you around, then?"

"Maybe," Patrick agreed. "Bye."

Katie turned and walked up the driveway into her house. She closed the front door behind her and took off her jacket, watching as Mrs. Knight led the boys to the living room. Their heads were hung low and they didn't dare to take their gaze from their feet. _This is going to be good. _Katie hurried into the living room so she wouldn't miss the action.

* * *

"I still don't get why you won't just take the offer!"

Gritting his teeth together, Kendall forced himself to keep his eyes on his hockey magazine, or else he would give into his desire to leap across his room and beat the crap out of James. It was probably the thirtieth time that he had heard that statement that night coming from his best friend's mouth. So what if Gustavo Rocque wanted to make a demo CD with him? It wasn't his dream, he didn't want to become a singer or be a pop star, he wanted to be a hockey player. Why take the once in a lifetime chance away from someone else that really wanted it. What pissed him of the most was that James was throwing himself a pity party rather than trying to change Gustavo's mind about the amount of talent and drive that he had.

"I mean, seriously, who wouldn't want the opportunity?" James continued. He was lying at the foot of Kendall's bed, his hands on his stomach, looking at the ceiling. Kendall wanted to do nothing more than kick his fucking face in. At that moment he wished that Logan and Carlos hadn't left after dinner, or else they would be able to help keep him calm. "Why-"

"James!" Kendall slapped his magazine shut. He took a calming breath through his nose before setting the magazine aside. "I'm getting fucking tired of talking about this. I don't want to do it, because it's not something I want." James turned his head and looked at him as if he was crazy. "I want to play hockey and have fun with that, I don't want to be famous for singing-"

"Which you do all the time," James interrupted. He turned back to the ceiling, a pout on his face. "Don't try to deny it."

"So I sing for fun, I don't want to sing for money." Kendall was trying hard to get James to see his side of the situation, but he could see that the pity party wasn't going to end anytime soon. "Don't forget that I was the one that started the fight with security trying to defend you." He reached out and punched James on the shoulder, causing James to smile. "We're brothers on the ice and off the ice, dude. Don't let something like this get in the way of that."

James's full fledged smile made Kendall relax.

"And I can thank you for having to get arrested tonight," Kendall continued.

"Oh please." James snorted loudly. "I was minding my own business; you were the one that basically assaulted Gustavo."

"In your honor."

"You make me sound like a girl."

"With those eyelashes and all of that blush that you wear…"

James's smile immediately gave way to a glare, his hazel eyes shooting back over to Kendall's green ones. "I _told _you, I have rosacea!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Kendall snickered.

"Oh that's it! It's on now!" James got up to his knees before leaping onto Kendall, who brought his arms up to shield his face, laughing.

James grabbed Kendall in a headlock and started to mess up his hair before he grabbed him around the chest and threw the two of them onto the floor. Kendall escaped James's hold and lowered himself so that he was on crouching on all fours, James taking a similar stance across from him. When James lunged to the side to grab him, Kendall rolled out of the way and grabbed onto James's leg, pulling hard enough so that he landed on his stomach.

"No fair!" James complained. "I have longer legs than you do, that doesn't count."

"Now you're going to complain about that too?" Kendall raised an eyebrow. "That's pathetic, James."

"I'm not the one that loves to win so much that he'll even sell his soul to do it," James shot back. He rolled onto his back and sat up as his phone rang. Pulling it out of his pocket, he looked at the caller ID before answer. "Hey Mom." James pushed his long hair out of his face and listened to his mom's answer. Kendall got up from the floor and grabbed onto his backpack, moving it over to his desk. He may as well get some homework done; his mom was already on his case about it. He looked up when he heard James's voice change. "Yeah, there was this audition in town for a music producer that I was trying to get to. Yeah. Ms. Majecowski got us here with Logan driving. It went ok…I guess. Mom, I know that you don't want me singing but, I'm good…Mom….Mom….no, Mom, I'm not going to take over the business from you. Because it's not what I want!"

Kendall busied himself by picking up his mp3 player and stuck his headphones into his ears to block it out. He could try to ignore the conversation in general, but it happened enough that it made his mood do a quick nosedive.

"Whatever. No, it's ok. It's fine. I love you too, Mom." James hung up and ran his hands over his face. He took a couple of deep breaths before tilting his head back and resting it on Kendall's bed. Kendall watched him, pulling his headphone from his ears. "Hey, dude, d'you mind if I stay here tonight?" He gave a hollow laugh. "There's no way in hell I'm going to my dad's place."

Kendall winced.

Everyone in Minnesota knew what happened with James's family. His mother was the makeup mogul of the Midwest, making the Diamonds a very common household name in their area. Things got worse when Mr. and Mrs. Diamond had gotten a divorce and Mr. Diamond married someone fifteen years younger than him. It alienated everyone, word spread around, and James was even more embarrassed than his parents were. He hid it well, focusing more on the things that he wanted to do, but there were many times that James would stay at the Knights' place rather than go home and listen to his parents bad mouth each other.

"No, go ahead, you know where everything is," Kendall said. He frowned as he looked back at his homework, tapping a pen repeatedly against his notebook. History was his favorite subject and his best subject, but he couldn't concentrate, not when his best friend was hurting like this. "Are you going to be ok?"

"Yep."

Unconvinced, Kendall moved from his desk and over onto the floor at James's side. He sat down, stretching out his legs. "You know that you can talk about this if you want."

"Yep." James nodded again, looking like he was in a trance. "But I don't want to." He shrugged, half of his mouth rising in a smile. "Thanks, though."

Kendall put an arm around James's shoulders, giving him a comforting hug. "You're welcome, dude."

* * *

Kendall opened his eyes and looked around his room. His clock read that it was a little past midnight. Listening, he shifted himself up onto one elbow and focused on James's breathing. He was dead asleep, his mother would be too, she had an early shift at the diner the next morning and needed her sleep. Katie would only be awake if she was watching a movie or checking her stocks. He was in the clear.

Shuffling out of bed, he stepped lightly over James, grabbing his shoes and beanie as he went. Sitting on his windowsill, Kendall pulled on his shoes, timing his movements with James's breathing. When James snored, he moved, when he stopped, Kendall held still. Once he got his shoes on, he pulled on his beanie and quietly opened the window before sticking his left leg out, and resting it on the sturdy tree branch of the tree that sat by his window. He shuffled to the side until the upper half of his body was out the window, allowing him to stretch his arms and grab onto the branch that was above his head. Swinging his weight forward, he slid his right leg out of the window and he was fully in the three. Balancing himself, he leaned back towards the window and closed it, leaving it open a crack.

He had done this so many times before that he could make as much noise as he wanted and still not get caught. Surprisingly, he had almost blurted it out to his mother at times, but she didn't pick up on it. Or she didn't care, there were few times that he could get to himself when he wasn't at school, work, or at home and she must have understood that. Kendall climbed down the tree, dropping quietly to the ground before he started walking.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and fired off a text: _On my way to Sherwood. I really need a fix._

He got an answer a few seconds later from Bobby Henson. He was a friend of his, James, Carlos, and Logan and also played on the hockey team with them. _Dustin and I are on our way. We should be there soon. Youll get there before we do._

Kendall put his phone back into his pocket and continued walking to his place of employment. Crickets chirped around him as he went. His footsteps resonated down the street, the echoes coming back to him, sounding like someone was following him. In a way, someone was always following him, following in his footsteps, following his lead, following him to make sure that he didn't screw things up. _I didn't screw things up this time, you did. _Kendall's upper lip curled and he quickly pushed the feeling of anger away. Once he reached the store, he leaned against the storefront, looking across the parking lot, wondering how many cars he was going to have to dodge cars and slush when he started work the next morning.

"Dude!"

"Yo!"

Kendall turned when he spotted Bobby and Dustin walking his way, both with large smiles on their faces. It waned slightly when they caught sight of the scowl on Kendall's face; otherwise they were in a good mood. Once they got to Kendall's side, Kendall held out a hand, waiting expectantly. Dustin reached into his jeans pockets and pulled out a box of cigarettes. He tapped it against his palm before handing it over to Kendall.

Kendall took the box and slipped one out before handing it back to Dustin. He stuck the proper end in his mouth and searched his pockets. Finding no lighter, he turned to Bobby. "You gotta light?" He mumbled around the cigarette, watching as it bobbed in front of his eyes. Bobby nodded, his cigarette already lit. He held out a lighter and Kendall leaned forward, igniting the end of his cigarette. He stepped back, taking a drag, and held it for a minute, before letting it out into the air.

"So we heard about the field hockey girls chasing you," Bobby said. He smiled and elbowed Dustin in the side. "Wish I could have seen that. All those skirts flying…" He and Dustin laughed.

Kendall rolled his eyes, removing his cigarette from his mouth. "They were in sweats and please don't dehumanize them like that."

"You're only saying that because you're weirdly protective of Katie," Dustin reminded him. "Any other girl and you wouldn't have a problem with it."

"I'd have a problem with it anyway," Kendall contradicted. "Mom taught me how to treat women like our equals and with respect." He shook his head as Dustin and Bobby continued to look at him with large smiles on their faces. "You wouldn't think it was so cool if you were being beaten with field hockey sticks," he added bitterly.

The three boys continued to stand around, smoking, talking, and laughing with each other. Kendall's cigarette was dwindling, but he still nursed the one as Bobby and Dustin had gone through two each. Dustin suddenly made a sound as if he remembered something, then grabbed Kendall's attention. "What happened with that Gustavo Rocque guy? Word's going around that you were the only one that impressed him."

"That fucker doesn't know talent when he sees it." Kendall shook his head. "He told James that he had no talent. One, that's not true, because he's my best friend and all of my friends are talented," Kendall raised a second finger. "And two, I'm not going to have anyone yell like that."

"But, dude, it's a good opportunity," Bobby said. "You could at least try it."

"And give up hockey? I don't think so." Kendall stubbornly shook his head. _Not after all of the hard work I put into it. _He closed his eyes, feeling another presence in him. The words that went through his head, he recognized them immediately; he had heard them so many times before. He took a deep breath, pushing the thoughts away. If he dwelled too long on them, it would just screw with his head.

"Don't even try to talk him out of hockey, dude," Dustin warned him. "You think hockey is _your _life, you haven't seen Kendall at his worst. Even when he's watching a hockey game of a team he hates, he gets pissed whenever the team he's somewhat rooting for loses." Kendall jerked his head back out of the way of Dustin's hands. He was waving the cigarette around as he talked, getting it close to Kendall's face. Watching the cigarette, Kendall brought a hand up to the back of his neck, touching the raised skin there.

"No, that's just being a fucking psycho." Bobby laughed.

Kendall dropped his hand from the back of his neck, his eyes staring straight ahead. "Yeah. Yeah, whatever." Raising his hand to his face, he took another drag from the cigarette, watching as the smoke curled and dissipated in front of him.

He dropped what was left of his cigarette to the asphalt and ground it under his shoe.

* * *

**"**So I uh, did the math last night on this whole singing thing..."

Letting out a groan under his breath, Kendall tightened his grip on the handle of the cart that was at his side. This was getting ridiculous. Looking at Logan out of the corner of his eye, Kendall brought his foot up to rest on the bottom of the cart.

"And, Katie was right: you're an idiot." Logan pushed Kendall out of the way of the cart that he was holding on to and pushed it forward and backwards a few times before he pushed it. The boys watched as the cart moved forward and smashed into a car, its beeper going off. Logan shrugged. "It's breaking right.

This was the last time that Kendall was going to say it. "Guys." He turned to address Carlos, Logan, and James, speaking loudly and clearly so they knew that he wasn't joking. "I don't want to go to LA with that jerk. I want to be here…" he reached out and hit Carlos on the arm. "…with _you_ jerks! And play hockey for our _team_." He rolled his eyes, grabbing another cart.

Carlos, though, wasn't going to let Kendall off the hook that easily. "But this is just _like_ hockey! Only instead of crashing the boards and rushing the net, you're singing and dancing!"

"What have you got to lose?" Logan added.

Kendal laws about to answer, but then closed his mouth when Carlos walked up to him. "Dude..._California_! The girls, the beach, the stars! The..._girls_!" Kendall smiled a little as Carlos continued to look up at him, his brown eyes searching his.

"Yeah." Kendall had to agree. There were some perks. "But none of that matters if it's minus my best friends!" He pointed at Logan. "Add those numbers up, professor."

Logan pulled a calculator out of his pocket and started to punch in some number. "OK, carry the two, ahhhh...nope!" He put the calculator away. "Still an idiot."

Kendall turned to James, who hadn't said a word to him that morning. Which was a sudden change from the night before. "What about you? You haven't said anything to me all day."

"I'm not talking to you," James said stubbornly.

"You just did!" Logan and Carlos pointed out.

"You know what?!" James glared at the two of them before turning to Kendall. "Dude, part of me hates you right now. No, all of me hates you. Call that guy back."

Raising an eyebrow, Kendall let his best friend's words sink in before he spoke. "That guy said you have no talent-"he turned to Logan. "-made YOU cry-"and then paused. "And broke my mom's teacup."

James grabbed onto the ends of his hair. "But it's a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

"So, you're telling me if that if you had the chance to go to LA with a _giant turd producer to record demos…you'd go?" _Kendall's mouth twisted to the side at Logan's, James's, and Carlos's quick answers. Kendall grabbed the cart that was next to him, lined it up and pushed it towards the cart return. As the cart sailed towards the cart return, five people walked into the path of the cart.

"Look out!" One of them cried and they all scattered like scared sheep, throwing themselves out of the way of the cart. Three of them slid on the slush that littered the parking lot, the other two skidded and fell onto their butts. "_I hate this place!"_

"Sorry." The four boys called weakly.

"Are you ok?" Logan led the boys as they walked over to them. He immediately recognized Sydney as he carefully got to his feet. "Oh, it's you."

"Please, let's not start that again," Rhuben said. She brushed a lock of purple hair out of her face as she looked at the four boys. She waved a hand. "What's the matter, blokes? Cat got your tongue?"

"Maybe they're intimidated," Riley said with a smirk and a slight eye roll, before nudging Rhuben's shoulder with her own. "It looks like Rhu really scared them." The amused looked then left her face and she looked serious. "Might as well get the awkward introductions out of the way." She raised a hand. "I'm Riley, that's Rhuben, Patrick, Noah, and Sydney." She pointed down the line of her brothers and sister, who either nodded or gave a short wave once their name was called. She looked over at Kendall, nodding to her sister. "I heard you were looking for me."

"Not exactly," Kendall said slowly. "I just haven't seen you around."

"We were only in Minnesota for a couple of days last time, and then we left." Riley crossed her arms over her chest, showing off the bandage on her right arm once more. "But let's cut to the chase here, word on the street is that you turned down a chance to go to LA with Gustavo and make some demos." Kendall shrugged and nodded. "That's stupid."

"Excuse me?" Kendall didn't expect that.

"If you have the chance, you should take it," Rhuben said. "There aren't many people that get offered a demo deal in only the three seconds that they audition for someone, mate." She bobbed her head. "Unless you're as lucky as we were-"

"-Lucky isn't the word I'd use," Patrick commented.

"You have to work hard to get to that point," Rhuben continued.

"We were telling him the same thing," Carlos jumped into the conversation. "And he was about to make a decision on it."

All eyes turned to Kendall and he slowly smiled.

* * *

Mrs. Knight was surprised when Kendall came back home with papers for her to turn in the next day to work with Gustavo Rocque and Kelly Wainright. Wasn't it just the day before where he, with as much attitude that a teenager can muster, told Gustavo that he wasn't going to go to LA? What had happened to change his mind? Nevertheless, she sat Kendall down at the dining room table to talk before he made his ultimate decision.

"Are you sure you want this, honey?" Mrs. Knight folded her hands on the table top. She looked Kendall in the eye, wanting him to understand how important a decision like this was. "Moving to Los Angeles and becoming a..." She looked at the contract before looking at her son again. "Vocal group?" Confused, she lightly shook her head. "I thought your dream was to play hockey."

Kendall looked pensive for a moment, and Mrs. Knight held her breath, waiting to hear what he had to say. Then he smiled at her; the winning smile he probably didn't realize that came from his father. It made the dimple in his cheek appear. "Please, Mom. It's James's dream. He's wanted his more than anything else, and this is the closest he's come to having it his whole life. Who knows if he'll get another chance?" Kendall then reached out and grabbed onto his mother's hands, holding onto them tightly as he looked at her with confidence. "We can make it happen for him. Please?"

Mrs. Knight looked at Kendall's earnest gaze and then nodded. "Okay. If you're sure." Kendall beamed, dimples out in full force, and hugged her tightly before running off to call his friends and tell them the good news. Mrs. Knight looked at the contract, full of legalese and subsections, and shuffled through it absently. Kendall and Katie definitely weren't perfect; Kendall's permanent record and magnetism for trouble as well as Katie's online poker habit proved that, but she had good kids. Maybe this singing thing would actually lead somewhere.

She called Katie to the dining room to help her understand the contract.

* * *

_Two years later…_

* * *

Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James jumped at the sound of the door to the swirly slide blasting into the wall. Logan groaned when he saw the hole that the door created, it was just another hole that they were going to have to fix.

"Why don't we put something there so it'll stop doing that when they come in?" He wondered out loud.

"Probably because know that it's not going to stop them," Kendall replied with a fond smile as the Jackson-McGuires slid down the swirly slide and landed on the floor behind the couch. He reached over and grabbed the remote, turning off the TV. The four boys got off of the couch and walked over to their best friends as they pulled themselves up off of the ground. "Hey guys, what's up?"

"Nothing except a reason for you guys to love us even more than you already do," Riley replied with a proud smile.

"Hm, I think you're getting that mixed up with barely tolerate," Kendall remarked.

"Fine, then we won't give you your surprise, Hockey-Head." Riley turned to Logan, Carlos, and James. "We'll just share it with you guys and leave him out in the cold."

"Ha ha."

Over the past two years Big Time Rush and the Jacksons, also known as their band the DarkElements had become best friends. Their music producers, Gustavo Rocque and Ronan McGuire who worked with the DarkElements were also best friends and had been for years. The DarkElements helped Big Time Rush break into the American music industry and Big Time Rush helped them get rid of their abusive foster father, Robert, who had milked them and their musical talent for all they were worth ever since they had started their own band almost ten years before.

"Anyway, what do you have for us?" Carlos eagerly started to look around the Jacksons, trying to see if he could find whatever it was. "Candy? Chocolate?"

"Why are all of your guesses food?" Sydney laughed.

"He's a guy, Little Man," Rhuben reminded him. "Up until a certain age, all guys think with their stomachs first." She laughed lightly, shaking her head. "Anyway, that's not it. I'd give you one more guess, but I'm sure you'll get that wrong too."

"How'd you guys like to go to a LA Kings hockey game tonight?" Patrick brought the tickets out from behind his back with a flourish. "We've had these seats for a while and got upgraded to a box, so we figured that we'd try to cram in as many people as we can. It'll be a tight fit, but it'll be fun."

"Definitely fun for me." James moved so he was standing in between Riley and Rhuben and put his arms around their shoulders, flashing his charming smile. "So, do you two beautiful ladies want to sit next to me or just sit on my lap and make it easier for everyone?"

"If your lap is an option, then I'll jump you," Riley replied. She then gave an exaggerated, sweet smile. "I mean, take the offer." James laughed along with the others, dropping his arms from their shoulders. He took his ticket from Patrick.

"What time is it tonight?" Kendall had moved back to the couch and was now staring at his ticket.

"At eight," Noah said. "But we're going to want to leave early to get there on time and get through traffic."

"No problem," Logan said, taking his own ticket and looking it over. He nudged Kendall on the arm. "Be sure that Katie doesn't get a hold of yours or she's going to try and sell it on the internet for thousands."

Kendall nodded. Katie's fascination with money only increased the older she got. He was sure that she'd buy out all of LA in the next couple of years if not sooner. The Jacksons all crowded onto the couch with the guys and got sucked into the episode of _The Walking Dead _that was playing. Kendall dropped his hockey ticket onto the table and tried to focus on the show, but as of late, his mind wandered.

He could feel it creeping into his mind again. The massive hold gripping onto his insides, his will, his ability to think clearly. His thoughts were being twisted around as the voice entered his head and started to repeat the words he had heard and tried to suppress for years. He tried hard to push them out of his head, as usual, it was a daunting struggle.

Riley jumped onto the couch next to Kendall, taking up her usual spot of the corner of the 'L' shaped orange couch. Almost immediately, Kendall felt a sudden shift in moods. Normally it was a sense of nervousness and closeness, but now it felt like foreboding. "What's up with you?" Kendall looked Riley over. "You looked like you're about to jump out of your skin."

Riley sucked in a breath, shaking her head. "It's nothing." She started to rub her right arm, bobbing her head back and forth. "I've got a session tomorrow, no big deal."

Kendall frowned in concern. He knew that even though Robert had been send to jail and they had been adopted by Ronan, their abuse still had a tight grip on them. If it wasn't the nightmares that they had, it was moments where they would stop and stare into space as they remembered moments of abuse, flinch whenever someone came too close or if there was a loud sound, they didn't like when people got too close, and they often had to initiate a hug or else they would flinch from that as well. But they were getting better as time went by. Their therapy sessions and writing down what they were feeling helped too.

He sensed that she didn't want to talk about it, though he wasn't sure if with just him or in general. She was notorious for feeling two different emotions at once. She could be annoyed with you over something as little as cracking your knuckles (one of her pet peeves was knuckles cracked by her ear) but still support you and be loyal over everything you needed.

"Talk later?" Kendall waited for Riley's answer.

"Talk soon." She clarified.

Kendall nodded. He just hoped that at some point he would be able to talk about his own problems, what had been plaguing him for so long that he didn't remember when it wasn't there. But he wasn't known as the leader for nothing, he could handle it himself. Just like he always did.

* * *

_A Scorpio knows how a person is feeling just by glancing at their face or picking up on the vibes in the air._

* * *

**A/N: **I'm taking my time with updating this story because I'm trying my hardest to make sure that each chapter is, essentially, perfect to me. I don't want any fillers with this story and everything that happens is important to a later part. I have a lot planned for this one, so I hope I can do it well. The audition and Gustavo going to the house was skipped/rushed through/tweaked on purpose because everyone knows how that goes.

The rest of DE's and BTR's story is the same, I just wanted to see if there was a way that DE could meet BTR in Minnesota and have it be convincing. We still haven't ultimately decided which way we want them to meet yet, so here you go.

Thanks to _suckerforlovestory, BTR-Fan-4Lyfe, Got2LiveItBigTime, KendallsCoverGirl804, BTR-DE-Fan, SoccerLaxGod25, Lella-Kiley-Luvr, shotinthedark, LogieLuvr914, Rage-Against-Time, youspinme, DragonClan, and BigTimeFan-'10_ for reviewing. And thanks to _Rage-Against-Time, iWasDumbSorry, suckerforlovestory, whitewolf1992, strongfighter, and CUTE CARGAN LOVE_ for adding the story to favorites/alerts.

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	3. Hockey Games and Therapy Sessions

**.:Chapter 03:.**

* * *

_"And the LA Kings score another goal!"_

The Staples Center erupted into cheers and wild screams as the hockey players on the ice either celebrated their score or let out angry grunts of frustration. The excitement of the audience buzzed around the arena, drowned out under the sound of the scoreboard letting out a loud wail, signaling the end of the second period. The third would be starting soon and the Kings were up by two points, though the Carolina Hurricanes were matching the scores pretty well.

Kendall clapped along with those that were rooting for the LA Kings, before glancing around the stadium. He could see the team colors for the Kings and the Hurricanes spread out throughout the stands almost evenly. A smile wormed its way onto his face. This was what he lived for whenever he was on the ice and whenever he was dreaming. To be the one that was shooting back and forth across the ice, adrenaline fueled, dodging checks into the boards, scoring goals, and having his friends and family cheer him on and support him as much as he did for everyone else. It was his one and only dream and he had been close to it numerous times. Being the captain of the high school team while he was still in Minnesota and even being offered to skate with the All-Star team when Big Time Rush's first concert fell through.

Kendall leaned forward, running his hands over his face before cupping them over his nose and mouth. He remembered how excited he had been when he got the invitation to skate with the all-star team. The thought of Big Time Rush ending had quickly fallen to the wayside and hockey had slammed right into its rightful place in his brain. He could admit that he was a bit angry at himself for turning down hockey a second time to start up Big Time Rush again, but Carlos had been really convincing with starting the band up again, even with the absence of James.

Both were once in a lifetime opportunities…

Kendall tuned back in as the scoreboard bleeted out another siren. The players cleared the ice and trooped back to the locker rooms. "Dude, this is probably the best game that we've _ever_ seen!" Carlos said. His face was practically smushed against the glass of the VIP box, his breathing fogging it each time he breathed out. Even though Kendall couldn't see his face, he could tell that Carlos was as hyper as he could be when he's on a sugar high.

"No way." James dropped back into his seat, a bucket of popcorn in his hands. "The best game was the championship against Duluth when we were freshmen and that huge fight broke out and we had to do a re-match two times."

"Unsportsman like mooning?" Noah pushed up the sleeves to his sweatshirt, smirking. "I mean, according to you guys, it wouldn't be the first time."

"I wish." Logan snorted before turning to Carlos with a glare. "No, Carlos was taunting one of Duluth's players and he went so far as to inadvertently insult his mother." He held up a finger. "And _everyone_ knows that you don't insult a dude's mother."

"It was an accident!" Carlos finally turned away from the glass. "I didn't know that he was standing right there."

"Carlos, that seems to be your main problem," Sydney said with a cheeky smile. "The fact that you don't think before you do anything." He tilted his head to the side before reaching over to grab onto his box of nachos. "Then again, you may get that from Ri-Ri, she has the same problem." He laughed as Riley reached out and smacked him on the back of the head.

"Is there any popcorn left?" Rhuben twisted in her seat to look behind her before leaning forward and reaching her arm over Kendall and Logan, who were both sitting to her right, to poke James on the arm. "Did you get the last of the popcorn, Handsome?" James froze a hand up to his mouth. He slowly lowered it and, with cheeks bulging, held his bucket out to Rhuben. She gave a half smile. "That's alright, Handsome, I'll just go get some more."

"I'll come with you." Kendall stood up, stretching his arms over his head. "I need to go to the bathroom anyway." He followed Rhuben out of the box and the two of them made their way down to the snack area of the stadium. "I'll meet you back here when I'm done, OK?"

Rhuben raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest. "What? Do you think that someone's going to jump me for my popcorn?" She stepped out of the way was some rowdy guys pushed by them, shouting at the top of their lungs as they went, earning disgusted looks from those around them. "I think by now you guys know that nothing can get between us and our food."

Kendall gave a half smile. He had been on the receiving end of each Jackson's wrath of having their food eaten and knew that he was never going to make that mistake again unless he decided that he didn't value his life anymore. And he thought that Carlos getting his dinosaur shaped chicken taken away from him was bad.

"You never know what can happen with this many people around, Benny," Kendall said, his eyes moving around the crowd that got bigger by the second. "Just meet me here, OK?"

"Fine." Rhuben held up her hands. "No worries. I'm just getting some popcorn." She turned on her heel, looking at Kendall out of the corner of her eye as she turned, and started to walk the short distance to the snack stand, pulling out her wallet as she went.

Kendall watched to make sure that she got in line before he turned and went into the bathroom. He side-stepped a large man as he walked out of the bathroom before going over to a urinal. Kendall unzipped his pants and, mid-stream, he heard a strange snorting sound. Confused, Kendall listened hard to see if he could hear it again. Finishing up, he tucked everything back into place and zipped up, moving over to the sinks, when he heard it again. Washing his hands, Kendall leaned his back to see if he could get a good angle to look under the stalls, checking to be sure that someone was there. He shook off his hands before wiping them on the sides of his jeans.

Stepping back a few paces, he bent over to look again and saw the figure of someone on their knees, head drooping forward. One hand was resting on the closed toilet lid and the other continued to move in and out of view. Kendall slowly moved towards the toilet stall.

"Hello?" He waited a few moments before calling out again. "Are you ok? Do you need any help?"

The figure got off of the ground and Kendall heard the lock on the door slide back. He watched as the door to the stall opened with a flourish and a guy a little bit older than him stepped out, grinning at Kendall.

Even from where he was standing, Kendall could tell that something was up with him. His hands were shaking and he was letting out a giggle every few seconds. Even the man's bright brown eyes were odd. Along with being completely bloodshot, they looked like they were completely black and upon closer inspection, Kendall realized that it was his pupils that were so big. They almost looked to be the size of dinner plates.

_What's up with this guy? _Kendall looked him up and down before addressing him again. "Dude, are you ok?"

"I'm _awesome_, man!" The guy replied. He wiped a hand across his nose, sniffing again and Kendall's eyes followed his movements, noticing a white powder on the tip of his nose. "It's an amazing game don't you think?" He looked around to be sure that the bathroom was empty before taking a step closer to Kendall, who raised an eyebrow. "Even better if you have the right…party favor." His dilated eyes semi-focused on Kendall. "You want some, boyband guy?" That explained it, he recognized him from Big Time Rush as opposed to being a random guy he had never seen before. Otherwise, he probably wouldn't have offered in the first place. The guy turned and Kendall's gaze dropped to the toilet lid, seeing two lines of white powder dusted on top of the toilet lid. "I've got plenty left."

"Uh, no." Kendall cleared his throat. "I mean, no thanks." He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb before backing up. "I've got to get back to my friends."

"Oh, no problems, boyband guy." The guy reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic baggie. He shoved it into Kendall's hand. "There's more where that came from. Enjoy the game dude!" He enthusiastically punched the air, letting out a 'go kings' before he went back into the stall, closing and locking the door behind him.

Kendall quickly put the plastic baggie in his pocket before turning and leaving the bathroom. He walked back through the throngs of people as they tried to get back to their seats and found Rhuben standing exactly where he had told her too, happily munching away at her own large bucket of popcorn. She looked up as he approached and held out the bucket, her eyes lit up. "Check it out, Kenny. They gave me a jumbo for the price of a small!" She hugged the bucket back to her chest and started eating again as they walked back to their box.

"Good luck with your shriveled lips, Benny," Kendall remarked. He looked over his shoulder before leaning close to Rhuben. "Hey, this guy gave me something when I was in the bathroom." Rhuben stopped in her tracks and looked at him, both eyebrows rising. "Oh, no! Not like tha….ok, that's really we…that's not what I meant!" Rhuben smiled. "No, I meant this." Kendall reached into his pocket and pulled out the plastic baggie. "He gave me this."

Rhuben's eyes moved to study the baggie and her eyes immediately widened. "Put that away!" She hissed. Kendall did immediately as he was told. "And when you get the chance, get rid of it!" Her eyes narrowed. "Why'd you even take it?"

"I-I didn't really have a choice," Kendall admitted. "He just shoved it in my hand." He was silent for a moment. "It's weird, though, I didn't think that it was that easy for things like this…"

"You don't understand." The flatness of Rhuben's voice caught Kendall's attention. He looked at her and was surprised to see that she was the most serious he had ever seen her, even when she was working with him on his dancing. "Most people don't understand. All they see in the music industry is fame and fortune and being able to get whatever you want." She rolled her eyes, her upper lip curling.

Kendall gave a soft smile at that. It was common knowledge that she and her siblings didn't like anyone that did nothing but get a free ride because of their name or because they were 'in' at the moment. They were firm believers that you had to work hard to get what you deserved and pushed Big Time Rush in that thought process ever since they first came out to LA to start Big Time Rush.

"This industry…whether you're in music or sports or film or TV or you're a politician, being in this place… it's a dark and scary place. You don't even know what can happen to people here. So be glad that you're in the brighter side of the industry and that you surround yourself with good people. Because, I swear to God, we're not going to let you guys get pulled down into that shit." Rhuben slowly shook her head. "We're going to do everything we can to make sure that it doesn't get to you guys."

Kendall scratched the back of his head. "What about you guys?"

Rhuben was silent for a long moment and Kendall could see the color of her eyes darken a little bit as a faraway look came to her face. She then sucked in a deep breath, looking at her feet. "We got a strange part of it, with Robert and everything, but other than that, we're really good at staying away from that stuff. But not everyone is so lucky, and you guys are still relatively new here, so you need to be careful."

"Ok. Ok." Kendall placed a hand over his heart. "I promise as soon as we get back to the crib, I'll get rid of it."

"Good."

Rhuben nodded and the two walked back to the VIP box. Kendall allowed her to get into her seat, laughing as Patrick and Carlos immediately started to reach out their hands, trying to get a handful of Rhuben's popcorn. She tried, in vain, to keep it away from them before rolling her eyes and passing the bucket around. Kendall sat down in his seat and glanced at the ice, seeing that the players had come back out again. He looked to his right at Riley, who was leaning forward in her seat, the sleeves of her LA Kings jersey draped over her hands. Her hands were up to her mouth, completely covered by the sleeves, her knees bobbing up and down.

"Quit looking at me," she said out of the side of her mouth. She hadn't even glanced over at him but could tell that there was something wrong. "Whatever it is that you need to talk about, can it wait until after the game?"

Kendall gave a half smile. "For someone that doesn't like hockey you sure are invested in the game."

"I never said I never liked hockey, I just said that I didn't have a freakish obsession with it." She brought her hands down from her mouth. "There's a difference." Her eyes shifted so that she was looking at him out of the corner of his eye. "What's up, Hockey-Head?"

"I want to talk to you about something." Kendall hesitated before running a hand through his hair. "It's not that big a deal, but still, it's kinda…weird." He licked his lips as Riley turned her head to face him, her eyebrows lowered. As her eyes gently shifted back and forth, he knew that she was trying to figure out what it could be that he was talking about. "Can we talk after your session?"

Riley winced. "I was hoping you forgot about that." She said honestly. She ran a hand through her hair. "But sure. 'Cause I know that you're going to be asking about it anyway."

"That's because you don't say anything," Kendall pointed out.

"And I should because…?"

"Because-"Kendall turned his attention to Logan, who was poking him on the arm. When Kendall turned to look at him, his eyes narrowed at the smirk on his face. Logan tilted his head and pointed towards the glass. Kendall followed his gaze and blinked when he spotted a camera hovering in front of the box. Then his eyes shifted over to the jumbo-tron and his onscreen reflection did the same thing. It barely registered in his head that the kiss cam had come up and that it had superimposed him and Riley in a heart.

Around him, he could hear his friends laughing as he looked at Riley to see what he should do. She looked back at him before her eyes shifted down the row. All of a sudden, there was a shrieking cry and the sound of grunts and groans of pain. Kendall let out a grunt himself when he felt something land on his lap and looked down, letting out a laugh of surprise when it came to light that Carlos, seeing Kendall and Riley on the kiss cam, had launched himself across their friends and into Riley's lap, putting his face close to hers, a large smile on his face.

Riley laughed along with the others and gave him a kiss. For the cameras, Carlos punched his fists into the air, giving Kendall enough time to give Carlos a harder push than he intended, rolling him off of his lap and onto the floor. Kendall laughed harder when he turned into the commotion around him. The camera had pulled back to get both bands in the kiss cam frame and they were definitely taking advantage of it; Patrick had a firm grip on Rhuben's head and was trying to give her a wet kiss on the cheek as she screamed with laughter, trying to pull away from him, James was trying to freak Logan out with the same flirtatious smile that he gave girls (which was ironic from the time that he had dressed Logan up like a girl just to get inspiration for their 'Oh Yeah' song), and Noah and Sydney were smiling and waving to the camera.

Their laughter mixed in with the cheers of the audience as the game started up again. Big Time Rush and the DarkElements cheered and screamed throughout the rest of the game, really getting into it. At one point the security of the Staples Center had to come up and tell them not to bang on the glass, as it wasn't as protective of the Plexiglas of the boards. In the end, the LA Kings managed to win, causing the Jacksons to freak out.

"I thought the Ducks were your team," Kendall said to Riley as they continued to wait in the box, so the arena to mostly clear out before they decided to leave.

"They are! The Kings are my number two!" Riley flashed the peace sign in his face, holding it right up against his nose. Kendall smiled and pushed her hand away. "I have two favorites for every sport," she continued. "For basketball it's the Miami Heat and the Chicago Bulls, hockey is the Ducks and Kings, baseball it's the Red Sox and the-"

"Brewers?" Kendall guessed. _It wouldn't surprise me if she chose Minnesota's biggest rivals, even though I don't like baseball much It's just be her to try and me that way. _He laughed at the horrified look that suddenly slid onto Riley's face. "What?"

"And root for Dak's team? No chance! They suck." Riley shook her head. "Please, like we'd ever agree on anything." She crossed her arms over her chest and smirked at him. "Now for interrupting me, you'll never know." She looked up as James suddenly appeared at Kendall's side and pushed him out of the way.

"So, Kiss Cam-" he said and gave a charming smile pressing his hands together, pointing at her with his fingertips. "How come you didn't do it with me? I mean hello?!" He waved a hand by his face. "I'm a better kisser than Carlos!"

"Hey!" Carlos pouted.

"And this is why we usually _don't_ go to sporting events unless Ronan talks to the people running them first," Patrick said, shaking his head. He crossed his arms over his chest, keeping a sharp glare on James, making sure that he was getting his point across without having to say anything. James held up his hands, taking a step back. "The kiss cam _always_ goes for celebrities, even if they're in a box, because they always want to have something to report about. So, I can already guarantee that 'Carley moment' as people call it-"Patrick used air quotes around the words, causing Carlos to beam. "-Is all over Stumble and ScuttleButter right now. Ronan doesn't see that as the kind of publicity to use for our band, especially because it's too 'cute' and 'poppy' and 'cliché'."

_Yeah, right. _Kendall laughed a little. He knew that the only reason that Patrick was going on about it so much was because he wanted to protect his sister. He was overprotective of her and Rhuben and what people thought about their dating habits. While it probably was true, he didn't doubt that Ronan would be sure that it wasn't the kind of publicity they used as he was really smart on how to use publicity to match their image, he didn't really see it as a big deal. Kendall frowned. _Maybe that's what Rhu meant? We're really sheltered from the inner workings of the industry we don't know how things really work. And they're in a different part of the industry than we are and they've been in it longer…_

"K-Dawg! He_llo_!" Kendall looked down to see Sydney waving a hand in his face. "We're leaving now, unless you want to be locked in this box." His dimples appeared in his cheeks as his dark eyes flashed. "Then again, since hockey is your thing, you may love it here."

"Yeah…" Kendall followed Sydney out of the box, being the last one to go. _Is hockey really my thing anymore? I haven't really thought about it while we've been out here…is it really me? Or did LA really change me more than I thought?_

As Kendall followed his friends out of the VIP box, heading towards the car park, he wondered what else was in store for Big Time Rush.

* * *

"We should be getting your images for your covers of _Girlfriend _magazine in today," Ronan McGuire said as he looked through his e-mail on his phone. He glanced up at his kids, who were sitting around the kitchen table, waiting for lunch to be ready. He addressed Riley and Rhuben. "You'll have about five pictures each to choose from that will go for the cover."

"Cool." Rhuben nodded, pushing her dark hair behind her ears. She leaned forward and rested her arms on the table. "What else do we have coming up?"

"Nothing that I can see so far," Ronan said slowly. His green eyes continued to scan over the phone. "But god willing, I'm going to be slammed with e-mails in the next couple of months when Tween Choice Awards nominations come in. And there's the fact that you guys still have to figure out if you won that ARIA. And we have to think of other ways to promote your US album in the next coming months." He put his phone aside before leaning back in his seat, propping his chair up on its back two legs, and looking at his eldest daughter's back. "How's it comin', RipCurl?"

"Almost done," Riley replied. She licked mustard off of her thumb before twisting the lids back on all of the jars that were spread out over the counter. She took a step back and studied each of the six sandwiches that were in front of her, each one made to the tastes of a specific person. Having made most of their families meals for almost ten years, she thought that she would know them all by now. But sometimes it was hard, especially since someone would suddenly dislike something that she was sure they liked before.

_That's what happens when you're so used to taking care of everyone. I wonder how Mum and Dad managed to do it for all six of us back home. _Riley smiled to herself as she picked up the plates and started to pass them out around the table, being careful that she got the right one to the right person before sitting down.

"Yes! Extra tomatoes!" Patrick cheered. He gave his sister a sweet smile. "Thank you, Riiiileyyyy."

Riley's upper lip curled as she looked at her brother. "Please don't say my name like that ever again, Bro."

"No worries, Sis."

Ronan laughed as he picked up his sandwich and took a bite out of it. "You didn't have to do this, Riles," he said. Riley shrugged and started into her own tuna sandwich. "Wait a minute." He slowly lowered his sandwich. "You have a session today don't you?" He picked up his phone to look at his schedule. "In fact, I'm sure of it."

"I was hoping you forgot." Riley's shoulders slumped.

"Like Ronan ever forget." Noah shook his head. "He remembers _everything. _And I mean everything."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Ronan said, raising an eyebrow.

"It _is _a bad thing," Sydney remarked. "He remembers everything we've done wrong and, as he's just proven, he knows everything we do before we do it." He looked thoughtful, turning to Ronan. "Do all adoptive parents have that ability or is it just you?"

Ronan and the Jacksons laughed. "I think that's what happened by being your friend and co-worker for so long," Ronan said.

He had been the one to personally discover them in the mall and signed them to his record label. He had been their music producer ever since then, as it was stated in his contract from their then foster father, Robert, that he couldn't work with any other band while he was working with theirs. But because he had been their music producer for so long and had seen them grow up before his eyes, he saw their behaviors change and knew that something was up. It didn't take long for him to figure out that they were being abused by Robert, who had been exploiting their musical talent ever since he had discovered it himself.

_But, I guess, in a way, I have to thank Robert, or else I would have them now. _

Before he met the Jacksons and figure out what they were going through, Ronan honestly never thought that he would be a father. He, as he explained to his parents and anyone that asked, was 'married to his job' as he spent countless hours at the studio with little to no socializing himself. Not to say that he didn't go on dates, he went out on a lot of them, but he never found the right woman that would be able to fit into his lifestyle. He didn't know if having kids would fit in his life at thirty-five years old, but knew that he wanted the Jacksons as his kids when he found out what Robert was doing to them. He was thankful that he and Big Time Rush, who had also noticed the Jacksons' demeanor, were able to get them help. If the last year was any indication, they were getting better and things were going well for them.

"Riles, why don't you want to go to your session today?" Ronan wiped his fingers with a napkin before dropping his hands to his lap, his green eyes trained on her.

The right side of Riley's face screwed up as she took another bite of her sandwich. She mumbled something through her full mouth and Ronan immediately turned to Rhuben for clarification. She brushed her strand of purple hair out of her face. "She said, 'better question is, when do I ever feel like going?'" Riley pointed at her twin and then gave a thumbs one. Rhuben gave one back.

"Riles, we've been over this before, it helps, you know it does," Ronan pressed, patiently. "And you like Dr. Angelo."

Riley raised and lowered her right shoulder in the 'Jackson famous' shrug. Family, friends, and fans alike had noticed all the little movements that each of the Jacksons made, easily seeing it as a family trait that each of them picked up from each other; the one armed shrug, the 'duh' look that they gave whenever someone said something stupid, holding their thumb and pinkie out for pictures. They were all very perceptive and put others before themselves so much that they called it a 'curse' when they were joking around. Their needing to become very close over the years made them even closer than the closest siblings and everyone could see that they really cared for each other, often dropping whatever it was they were doing to help each other when they needed it, just as much as they would for a friend.

"It's just…sometimes I'd rather not think about it, y'know?" Riley looked at her watch. "But I'm going to be late if I don't get going now." She pushed back her chair and got up from the table, grabbing her paper plate and moving it over to the counter to wrap it up in saran wrap. She went up to her room and grabbed onto her car keys and pulled on her shoes before grabbing her notebook.

It was an exercise that their therapist and Ronan thought was a good idea. A way for them to vent their feelings in a healthy way, to take a notebook and write down everything that they were feeling throughout the day or when something happened. While Ronan came up with the idea first, which cranked out hit song after hit song, CD after CD, Taylor Angelo took the idea and adapted it for them to be able to cope with their past. It helped for the most part, but the pages that were folded down were the ones that were extremely private and Ronan and Dr. Angelo could only see them if they were given explicit permission to.

Checking her phone, Riley placed everything into a drawstring bag. She had a text.

**Kendall: **Are we still on for after your session?

Riley rolled her eyes. _As persistent as always. _She quickly replied: No worries, Hockey-Head. I'm not going to leave you high and dry. She got a reply almost immediately.

**Kendall: **Awesomesauce. I'll see you later.

Rolling her eyes at his dorky use of the word, Riley shoved her phone into her pocket. Leaving her room, she hurried downstairs and stopped by the living room on the way. She leaned against the doorway. "I'm gonna be back late. Kendall said that he wanted to talk me about something."

"Really?" Noah looked interested. "Do you think he's going to finally-"Ronan slapped a hand over Noah's mouth.

"We'll see you later," he said. "And we need to talk about what happened at the hockey game with the Kiss Cam, later."

"Yeah, yeah."

Riley nodded and left the house, closing the front door a little harder than she intended behind her. She climbed into her Ford Focus, dropping her drawstring bag in the passenger seat. She turned on the car and buckled up before quickly backing out of the driveway, going so fast that she almost hit the mailbox. Riley turned on the radio and blasted the music as she drove into the city to meet with her therapist.

The first time that she had gone to see Dr. Angelo, she had no idea how to act. She even decided to where her favorite outfit to go out in the day that she went. That way, if she had a bad time, she could at least feel good. The first session had to be by herself as were most of them, though there were times that she and her siblings would go in groups of two, three, four, or all together. Sometimes they would even have Ronan sit in on their session.

The first time she had met Dr. Angelo, she had expected a woman to be her therapist. Only for the reason that she got along with women better than men. It was easier for her to open up to a woman, though it would take a while for her to get to that point. She had only just recently started to open up to Mrs. Knight about what was going on in her life, so she was expected to talk to someone she had never met before? But Dr. Angelo had quickly proven his worth to Riley, so quickly that Riley wondered if Ronan talked to him first, to let him know how to do it.

"A pleasure to meet you," he had said when she first met him. That got her attention. Most other adults that she had met tried to act like they knew who she was before they even tried. That was definitely a welcome change. What changed her mind was the look of his office. As far as she was concerned, shrinks had couches and pictures of flowers and boring, old paintings from artists that she couldn't even pronounce. But Dr. Angelo had movie posters all around his office.

"Sweet." Riley had muttered under her breath as she took a seat.

"Glad you like it." Dr. Angelo moved around to his side of the desk and dropped down into it, leaning back ,resting his hands on his stomach. He got right to the point. "Now, is there anything in particular that you wanted to talk about?"

And that was the start of a interesting therapist-patient relationship. Even to the point that she started to call him 'Angel' as opposed to Dr. Angelo. That showed that she really did like him for what he was doing and that he had her respect. He greeted Riley with a warm smile when she entered his office that day, taking her seat in the chair across his desk, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.

"So, Riley," Dr. Angelo said, "What brings you here today?"

Riley raised an eyebrow. _You know why I'm here. I'm only here whenever I have to be, Ronan sets up the appointments specifically for that, so you should know. _But In typical Riley fashion, she moved her hands from her mouth and smirked at him. "What brings me here?"

"Yeah." Dr. Angelo, used to it at this point, took it in stride. "What brings you here?"

Riley's eyes flashed. "I told you I don't know what brought me here."

"Actually, you just repeated my question, you never answered it and we both know why you're here or else you wouldn't have come in." Dr. Angelo was now twiddling his thumbs. "I understand that you've had another bad dream? What d'you remember from it this time?"

_Nice. _Riley smiled to herself. He didn't take the bait that was good. He was good at making sure that they kept on track and talked about what they needed to talk about. "I remember…feeling like I wasn't able to breathe…I woke up and I felt like his hands were around my neck." She frowned, her shoulders hunching up towards her ears as she remembered it. It was all so vivid, her breathes had come out in short gasps, having the feeling of wanting to cry, and fear. It was the first time in a long time that she had been scared and the feeling itself scared her even more. She didn't go to sleep after that dream, she, instead, texted Kendall, asking if he was awake and could talk.

It took a half hour of waiting and two more texts, and she felt bad for waking him up, but he finally texted back saying that he could talk as long as she needed to. But she didn't talk about the nightmare; she couldn't, not when she knew how worried he would become as he usually did whenever she or her siblings brought up what had happened if they brought up something like that.

Riley scratched her forehead as she started to smile. It was sweet, he was loyal and he did care a lot about her and her siblings and that things were going on. He was the one that helped them see that they could be good friends. He was the one that took the proactive steps to get rid of Robert. Sensing Dr. Angelo's eyes on her, she lowered her hand.

"How'd you feel, emotionally?" Dr. Angelo pressed.

"Scared," Riley admitted after a long moment. She slowly shook her head. "I hadn't felt that way in a long time and I hated it."

"Do you still feel a sense of guilt?"

"Of course." Riley shrugged. "That's not going to go away anytime soon." She lowered her voice. "Honestly, I don't think I ever will." Her breath caught in her throat and a lump formed. She swallowed as hard as she could, her breath shaking with emotion as she finally managed to let it out. "Fucking hell." She placed her forehead in her hands.

Dr. Angelo was quiet, which was what she really needed. If he had started to talk, she would have probably punched him in the face. Therapist or not, he could still easily piss her off as much as anyone else could. Riley's dark blue eyes darted around the room, they landed on his bookcase. "Why don't you have any real books, Angel?"

He merely blinked at her. "What?"

"Like, book-books? Why don't therapists ever have books?"

"Why?"

"Just curious." Riley started to rub her arm.

"How do you feel?" Dr. Angelo skillfully shifted the attention back to her.

She didn't have to think about it for very long, "I feel sad."

"How long have you felt this way?"

Saying 'forever' wasn't going to help, but she wasn't even sure. Most of the time, she felt angry, but there were many other times that she felt sad. Not many people understood that though, they just thought that she was either angry or she wasn't and that was that. "For a while. I don't really talk about it. I don't want anyone to worry."

"Really?" Dr. Angelo had a challenging look in his eye. He reached under his desk and picked up a basketball. He spun it around his finger, or tried to. It bounced to the ground after less than a second on his hand. Riley scooped it up and started to dribble it. She wasn't good, but it was comforting. "That's surprising." He watched her. "Is there anyone you particularly like to talk with?"

"Are you trying to trick me into talking, Angel?" Riley gave a wry smile.

"No need." Dr. Angelo smiled. "Straight forward, that's what you asked me to do when we first started and that's how you operate."

Riley grimaced. She was known for being impulsive and not speaking before she thought. But he was right, she would rather get straight to the point than go in circles around it. "Yeah, yeah. But as you know or have read-"she gestured to her drawstring bag that had her notebook nestled inside. "-I like to talk to Kendall."

"Why?"

"I don't know exactly. I don't even think I'll ever really know why. There's too many reasons." Riley continued to clumsily dribble the basketball around her legs. "He's smart, and funny. He's a dork and can make me laugh or forget what I'm mad about. He understands. He's my best friend."

"Is Kendall the only one? Is there anyone else? Your family?"

Riley hesitated. "That's tricky. Because, you're close with your family, I'm super close with mine, but they still don't completely know you like someone outside your family can." She shrugged. "I can do that with Julius or Daddy Teak or Rhu or Pat sometimes."

"I see." Dr. Angelo looked at his watch. "I'm sorry to cut this short but I have an important meeting to get to. We can make up the other half hour later this week or have an hour and a half next week? Is that ok?"

"Sure thing , Angel." Riley lined up the basketball with the hoop that was in the corner of the room and took a shot. She missed. Badly.

"Good, see you then." Dr. Angelo picked up the basketball and took a shot. It went on. He turned and grinned at Riley.

"Fucking showoff," she said, causing his smile to widen. She walked over to her drawstring bag and picked it up, slinging it over her shoulders. She flashed the peace sign. "Later, Angel," she said before leaving the office.

Riley went to the elevators and pushed the button to call it. She pulled her phone out of her pocket to text Kendall, saying that she was done early, but froze when she saw a figure out of her corner of her eye. Lifting her head slightly, she turned so she was able to get a better look and her breath caught in her throat when she caught a glimpse of who it was. The elevator doors binged open and she jumped, looking to the right again.

No one was there.

Riley quickly moved inside the elevator and pushed the lobby button, holding her phone tightly in her hand. She waited as the elevator moved down to the bottom floor of the building. When the doors opened, she speed-walked through the lobby and stepped outside. Looking down at her phone and remembering her unfinished text to Kendall, she slowed her walk.

"Hey. Over here." Kendall waved a hand to get her attention before standing up from the bench that was placed by the perfectly trimmed bushes in front of the building. "What's up?"

"A proposition, but since you're a blonde I don't think you'd understand," Riley quipped.

Kendall made a face. "Wow, so early in the day too. How do you do it?"

"It's part of my charm," Riley said sweetly.

He held out his right fist. Riley gave a half smile before holding hers out as well. When she pressed her fist against his, the two of them twist their wrists so they were giving each other a thumbs up. It was something that Kendall had come up for the two of them to do as a 'secret handshake' shortly after he got her to finally admit that they were friends. It quickly defined their friendship, as well as their love of sports, his hockey and hers baseball, playing the guitar, their love of vans, tattoos, and their competitive nature.

_A therapy session I don't want to tell you about, other than that, nothing. _Riley decided to give him some good news first. "Rhu and I are going to see our photos for _Girlfriend_ magazine back home soon."

"Awesome!" Kendall smiled. "I can't wait to see them. I'm sure they're great."

"I hope they are," Riley remarked. She rolled her eyes. "Having to be forced into more clothes than I could ever imagine for a few pictures? I mean, I'm used to it, but still it was kind of ridiculous."

"I'm sure that you look great anyway," Kendall said. And that was Kendall. His mother had quickly taught him how to be a gentleman and how to treat a lady. But he was also the guy that had dedicated the song _Worldwide_ to Jo Taylor as well as having written _Cover Girl _and _You're Not Alone _on Elevate, which showed everyone that he was indeed as much of a romantic and a nice guy as his image made him seem.

Riley let out a sigh. "Yeah, whatever."

Kendall studied her for a long moment. "What's wrong?"

"…Nothing." Riley said after a minute. "I just got my ass kicked in basketball by my therapist."

Kendall laughed. "It's, like, the one sport you're not good at. It doesn't surprise me." He placed a hand on his chest. "Even _I _can beat you in basketball."

Riley's eyes flashed with challenge. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" Kendall reached out and poked her in the stomach, causing her to instinctively laugh and back away from him. But he stepped closer and started to tickle her. "And I can beat you with one hand tied behind my back."

"Do you want to lose one?"

"No," Kendall said.

"Then stop it!" Riley continued to squirm away from him, her laughter turning into gasps for air. Kendall relented and pulled his hands back, allowing Riley to regain her breath. She then stepped forward and punched him on the arm. "Boofhead! I _hate _it when you do that!"

"Well, what was wrong?" Kendall gave her a pointed look.

"I-"Riley stopped. She blinked and her expression relaxed. "I don't remember." She shook her head in amazement before dropping her gaze to her feet. "Thanks," she said under her breath.

"You're welcome, Riles." Kendall smiled. He tilted his head towards the parking lot. "C'mon."

* * *

_Scorpio tends to be rather mysterious and very secretive about their own thoughts and feelings. Virgos don't like to constantly express their feelings…they hate coming across whiny or annoying._

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter took me a while to get right and I'm still not completely happy with it but I hope you guys did. While this story is a dark-fic there's going to be a lot of lighthearted moments between the boys and their friends and family as the fic goes on.

The story picks up from here.

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	4. Lawyers and Movies

**.:Chapter 04:.**

* * *

"Mrs. Knight, he'll see you now."

Mrs. Knight got up from her seat, smoothing out the bottom of her pencil skirt and clutched her manila folder to her chest. With determined strides, she walked past the receptionist that held open the door and over to the desk. She placed herself into the chair on the near side of the desk without being invited to sit down. She crossed her legs at the knee and rested the folder in her lap."

"Geez, I know you're my wife, but you can at least try to _look_ happy to see me," Kevin Knight said as he turned off the monitor to his computer.

Mrs. Knight quirked an eyebrow. "Ex-wife," she corrected.

"Considering the fact that we're only separated-"he stopped at the stern look on Mrs. Knight's face, changing the subject. "-ok, so you're here to talk about Kendall's contract with Rocque Records?" He held out his hand for the manila folder. "What's wrong with it?"

"I'm making sure there isn't anything wrong," Mrs. Knight said. She handed the folder over, noticing that he had a silver band on his finger. He was still wearing his wedding ring? "I've been working as their manager long enough to know that you can't always trust everything that they say. You always have to look at the fine print."

Kevin leaned back in his chair as he opened the folder and started to flip through the pages that looked at him. First, he had to be sure that it had been signed in their own handwriting and that it hadn't been forged. After making sure of that, he flipped back to the front page and started to study it carefully. "So why didn't you just ask Katie to look it over? From what you've told me, she's the go-to-girl with this sort of problem."

Mrs. Knight gave him a waning look, running a hand through her hair. "She normally is, and you'd know that if you-"

Kevin let out a groan, dropping the folder onto his desk. "I thought we agreed that when you made me yours, Kendall's, and Katie's lawyer that we were going to leave our personal business out of it? I didn't want to bring anything up and I was the one that thought that this was a bad idea from the beginning, remember?"

Mrs. Knight did remember. She had tossed and turned for days, wondering if it was the right decision. Wondering if it was a good idea to keep it from Kendall and Katie. The last time any of them had seen him was when he had been the lawyer that was defending Robert Jackson, who had beaten his kids for years, the same kids who ended up helping Big Time Rush when they first arrived in LA. The same kids who eventually became their best friends and major support group. If anyone told her that she was going to eventually ask him to become her family's lawyer after years of him being out of their lives, she would have laughed in their faces.

But now…

It was something that needed to be done. She had heard about companies taking money from their clients in different ways that they wouldn't understand in their contracts. She didn't expect Gustavo to do something like that; Griffin was the one she was worried about. The older man had a lot of power in the music industry, the biggest CEO that anyone had ever heard of. He could get Gustavo, Kelly, and the boys to do virtually whatever he wanted and she wasn't going to have that affect Kendall or any of the other boys.

"I know that, Kevin, but where else do you think I would go?" Mrs. Knight let out a quiet sigh. "I still have a little bit of trust in you to help me when I need it."

Kevin was silent for a long time. Mrs. Knight expected him to ask her to leave, but he laced his fingers together, resting them on top of the papers. "I'll help you anyway I can," he said. "And I'll be sure to look over this with a fine tooth comb and a magnifying glass." He looked away for a moment. "I can do that much to help you guys out." He then gave a half smile. "Though I can't help but have the feeling that Kendall and Katie don't know about this."

Mrs. Knight's silence answered his suspicions.

Kevin scratched his forehead. "You do realize that they were upset knowing that you were still talking to me when the trial came around. Especially how long it took for you to tell them." He shrugged. "I'm sure who I was defending in that trial didn't help either."

"How'd you meet him anyway?" Mrs. Knight studied her _ex-_husband carefully. She had grown to know everything about the man that she had met in college and grown to love over the years. In some aspects, she was sure that she still loved him, but there were a lot of things that she wasn't going to get over anytime soon. "You used to be based out of Minnesota, and then you came to LA. But with the way that they had gone through the music industry, I don't see how you would have been able to meet him."

Now running his hands over his face, Kevin let out a weary sigh.

"I shouldn't say this due to confidentiality, but I met him when they were on tour in the US and had a stop-over in Minnesota. He came to my office, saying that he needed a lawyer and heard that I worked at a firm in Minnesota and LA, and that they were just about to go out to LA to start working in the music industry and wondered if I'd be interested," Kevin explained. Mrs. Knight's eyes widened a movement he quickly noticed. "What?"

"What was the date?" Deep in her gut, she knew that the truth had just presented itself, but she needed to know for sure.

"I don't know…the fifteenth or so," Kevin said. "Why?"

Mrs. Knight pressed a hand to her mouth, stunned. Slowly, she lowered her hand, it was shaking. But the truth had given her a harsh reality check. "Is…are you still their lawyer?" She steadied her voice the best she could. "Every other asset that they have, publicists, accountants, marketing, businessmen, managers, things like that, they usually come from Ronan, and he branched out to have them work for his kids too. But did he ever get another lawyer for them? The lawyer for their trial that was Ronan's lawyer, but Robert specifically came to you to be his lawyer, what about them?"

Kevin stayed silent.

Mrs. Knight sucked in a deep breath. "Kevin, I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you the Jacksons' lawyer?"

"Technically, yes," Kevin finally answered her. "It's complicated to explain, but yes, I am their lawyer." He held up his hands. "Believe me, after the trial…after I heard about the things that Robert had done to them, I felt bad that I was defending him. But you also can't fault the guy; it was all that he knew due to the hands of his own father, it was all that he grew up with. HE saw it as normal discipline, that he wasn't really doing anything wrong. But now that I know everything…I do feel bad and even if-"

"Do they know?" Mrs. Knight interrupted.

"I'm not sure that they do," Kevin said. "If anything, if they did know, I'm sure that they would have come barging in here and given me a few choice words about Kendall and Katie." He gave a half smile. "Like the girls, what're their names again?"

"Riley and Rhuben," Mrs. Knight supplied.

"Right." Kevin laughed a little. "I have to admit, they had guts for telling me off like that when they realized that I was Kendall's and Katie's Dad. 'Large-ass' eyebrows, that's actually pretty funny."

"It must run in the family," Mrs. Knight said with a half smile of her own. "Since Riley teases Kendall about his all the time." She uncrossed and re-crossed her legs a couple of times. She then fixed her hair a couple of times. "Does Ronan know that you're their lawyer too?" She was afraid of the answer to that question more than she was for everything else.

"Not that I'm aware of," Kevin said slowly. "But if something like this comes up with them, or even if they're being accused of some sort of crime or something, I'm the one that he had to bring it to."

In the silence that followed, Mrs. Knight could clearly hear the sound of the receptionist typing at a mile a minute at her desk. The sound of the printer spitting out paper along with the sounds of the fax machine ringing could be heard along with the typing. It was pretty jarring. It broke her out of her cluttered, whirring thoughts that spun around at a mile a minute.

"I know that this is a lot to figure out," Kevin said gently. "But let's not think about that right now; let's think about Kendall's contract and what it means for him if I find anything wrong with it." He stood up from his desk, placing his hands on his hips. "I'll call you and let you know when I finish looking over everything."

"Ok." Numbly, Mrs. Knight nodded.

She turned on her heel and walked out of the room, gently closing the door to his office. As if on auto-pilot, she went from his office, to the elevator, down to the ground floor, and over to her car. Once she got inside, she sat there for a few minutes, not moving, not knowing what to do. On one hand, she wanted to confront Ronan and everything he knew about her ex-husband being his kids' lawyer, but she wasn't sure if she even wanted to _touch_ that conversation at the moment. Not when she had to think about Kendall and Katie too.

Would they still be upset over everything? Kevin had managed to turn his life around; they didn't know _everything_ about why he left. Maybe it was time to tell them…_Katie would probably, after a while, have a positive reaction to it. But Kendall…he's so open with his feelings, it might be too difficult for him. _Mrs. Knight shook her head, resting her arms on the steering wheel, tilting her head to look up at the building, trying to guess where his office would be from where she was sitting.

_Does he really feel bad about everything that happened with the trial? Or was he just trying to get my sympathy? _Mrs. Knight wasn't sure, though she did believe that there was still good in him. _If not, why would you have him still be our lawyer? _She remembered when Kevin had first come to her with the exciting news that he had passed the bar test. She had seen the excitement on his face, but never saw it in his eyes. He had earlier, realistically given up his dream of being a hockey player, having come close to the NHL. But with a son and a new baby in the future, it wasn't a reasonable job. Not when she was only working on as a waitress. Things were tough…and they only go tougher the more frustrated he got with his job.

Mrs. Knight was sure that her becoming pregnant a second time cemented his resentment in her, that it was part of the reason that everything had blown up in their faces. It would make sense, just like everything was now making sense, now that it was all spelled out for her. He had been happy to know that he had a baby girl, but it put him one step further away from being able to do what he really wanted. He never had the desire to be in a nine to five, he emphasized that when they first started dating, even when she tried to talk him out of playing hockey in fear of him getting injured.

But he had just said, "Don't worry about me, Kace; I can take care of myself. I'm having the time of my life; good things are going to happen."

He had told her that so many times that she had started to believe it; he continued to tell her that even when she announced that she was pregnant with Kendall. When they found out that it was a boy, Kevin was over the moon and immediately started making plans of him becoming a hockey player. Those dreams started to blossom a couple of years after Kendal was born, and when they saw the talent that their young son had, it was all or nothing from there.

Mrs. Knight sighed and pulled her car keys out of her purse, sticking it in the ignition.

She had to get home and on the way she was going to figure out what to do with her newfound information.

* * *

"Pass it over here! Pass it!"

Carlos shifted his hockey stick in his hands and drove it forward against the hockey puck. It went flying forwards, shooting past Kendall's and Logan's hockey sticks and smacked into the side of James's. He turned around and smacked the hockey puck into the goal.

"Score!" James cheered, thrusting his hockey stick into the air. Carlos let out a whoop of a cheer and the two high-fived. Logan rolled his eyes and turned his gaze to Kendall, who looked like he had just swallowed a slug. "How does it feel to get beat, ten to nothing?"

"Last time we beat you this bad, you were coming off of the flu," Carlos added a large, cheesy grin on his face.

"Yeah, what's up with you?" Logan turned to Kendall who now had his arms crossed over his chest. He studied the blond curiously. "Every time we play a game, you hardly ever let the score get anywhere near a shutout. It's usually really close."

"Nothing's wrong," Kendall said. "I'm just having a bad day." He frowned. "It happens."

"Yeah, but not to you," Logan continued. "You've been acting kinda funny ever since the hockey game." He slowly started to smile, exchanging a look with Carlos and James. "Are you upset about something? I mean, the Kings won, so that's not a problem. It must be something else." He placed a finger to his chin. "Hmm…I wonder what it could be."

Carlos caught on to Logan's tone. "Maybe it's-"

"DOGS!"

Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James jumped at Gustavo's scream and whirled around to see their music producer charging towards them down the Rocque Records hallway. He was moving so fast that the posters of the bands he worked with over the years fluttered as he moved by them. Logan, James, and Carlos jumped behind Kendall as the man stopped in front of them. Kendall gave Gustavo a sheepish smile before his gaze moved down to the hockey stick that was in his hands, and then moved it behind his back, his smile widening.

"Hey Gustavo," he greeted him. "How's it going?"

"It was going fine until I heard _screaming_!" The irony was lost on Gustavo as he continued. "And then I figured if it's not me or Kelly that's yelling at _you_ then it must be you dogs doing something stupid! And I was right."

"Hockey's not stupid, Gustavo," James said patiently.

"Last I checked, I turned you dogs from hockey players to a boy band, don't revert!" Gustavo snapped. He then studied the four of them. "What are you doing out here anyway? Kelly gave you a break from songwriting to relax and get something to eat, not to bas each other's brains in with sticks."

"Hockey _is _relaxing," Carlos piped up. "And Logan and Kendall were just _eating our dust_!" Carlos let out another whoop and gave James another high-five, the two of them laughing loudly. When he saw the glare on Gustavo's face, he immediately stopped. "That wasn't funny, I'm sorry."

"GET BACK TO WORK!"

The four boys pushed each other as they raced out of the hallway and around the corner, their rollerblades rolling over the carpet as fast as they could go. Once they were out of Gustavo's sights, they slowed down before heading back towards the empty studio that they were using to get some songwriting done.

"What crawled up his ass and died?" Logan asked, dragging his hockey stick behind him. "He seemed more missed than usual."

"If that's even possible," James pointed out.

The boys waited for Kendall to say something in agreement with James's statement and were surprised when he didn't say anything. Kendall was easily known as the guy that would get up into Gustavo's face about whatever it was that he didn't think was right. This time he really didn't try to really defend them. He did, but not with as much enthusiasm as he usually put into it.

James raised an eyebrow, reaching out and poking Kendall on the arm. "Ok, _what_ is going on? You don't even try to jump in when we're talking about Gustavo, and that's, like, your _thing_."

"Fine." Kendall stopped and turned to the guys. "At the hockey game, there was this guy in the bathroom that gave me something." He rolled his eyes when James, Logan, and Carlos all exchanged glances with each other. "No! Not _tha_-geez, why is that _everyone's _firs thought whenever I say that!?" He shook his head. "No, I mean, some guy gave me a baggie of cocaine." Now James, Carlos, and Logan all looked at him in shock. "I didn't take any of it; I dumped it out as soon as I got the chance."

"So what's the problem?"

"I talked to Rhuben and Riley about this-"Logan cut him off.

"Oh, so _that's_ what you were talking about!" He shook his head. "You were gone so long we thought that you were talking about something else." Kendall immediately knew what he was referring to and at his exasperated look, Logan continued. "I mean, it's been a while since you turned down both Jo _and_ Lucy so you could still be friends with Riles…how come you haven't done anything about it yet?"

Kendall winced.

Jo, Lucy, and Riley.

The three girls in his life that managed to make him the most confused.

He had dated Jo since they were sixteen and when they were seventeen, they had to break up because she moved to New Zealand for a three year movie deal. Anyone that knew them knew that it wasn't the _only _reason why they broke up and that his growing friendship with Riley was a part of it. Kendall and Jo had similarities in their hair color and eyebrow shape so that haters and people that didn't know them thought that they were siblings. They also had problems with jumping to conclusions and jealousy. So much so that they got into fights a lot and when they would constantly go in circles about it, Kendall would go talk to Riley about it. In the back of his mind, he knew that it upset Jo, but she was his friend so he did it anyway.

As time went on after she left, he slowly started to think about her less and less and their conversations dwindled as he and Riley grew to be best friends. Then Lucy came into the picture and Jo came back to the PalmWoods and he was stuck in the worst situation of his life, having to pick between two girls he liked who threatened to leave the PalmWoods. He asked Riley about it, and she blew up at him, saying she didn't want to deal with his girl drama and cut him off right then and there. It took a long walk-at the suggesting of Katie, and going to the hockey rink to clear his head-as usually did whenever he was faced with being homesick or having a tough decision to make, and figured out which was the best way to deal with the situation.

The hardest thing was talking to Jo and Lucy about it. He went to Lucy first, and then went to find Jo. He remembered how nervous he was, waiting for Jo to open the door to her apartment. A million thoughts had run through his head. Would she hate him? Would she cry? Would she still leave the PalmWoods? Would she even open the door?

He had the satisfaction of knowing the answer to the last question pretty quickly. "Hey," Kendall said with a small smile.

"Hey," Jo returned. She looked to be on the brink of tears, but was smiling as well. Jo raised a hand and rubbed at her eyes before she took a step back, allowing Kendall into the apartment. "I was…starting to think that you weren't going to show up."

"Well, here I am," Kendall replied. He slowly inched his way into the apartment. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "We really need to talk."

"Yeah," Jo agreed. "We really do need to."

"Ok. Um." Kendall ran a hand through his hair. "It was…really unfair for you to have me try to choose between you and Lucy and threaten to leave the PalmWoods."

"I know," Jo agreed. "But I was so confused about everything." She crossed her arms over her chest, tuning away from him a little bit. "My movie just tanked and I thought that coming back, things could go back to the way that I remembered it. Where I didn't have to worry about things being so hard. But…when I got here and I saw you kissing Lucy…I was even more confused than before."

"Confused about what?" Kendall's eyebrows furrowed.

"Whether or not I really wanted you back," Jo admitted.

Kendall blinked in surprise. That wasn't what he had expected her to say. Was it just hours ago where she said that she would leave the PalmWoods if he didn't come to her apartment at a certain time? If she didn't want to get back together with him, why did she say it? And why was he the one that was put in that position in the first place? Why didn't the girls just talk to each other?

"I mean…" Jo pursed her lips as she thought about it. "We broke up for a lot of reasons; my getting the job in New Zealand, our jealous problems…who we talked to about our problems…" Kendall frowned at that, but Jo managed a gentle smile. "I thought about all of that while I waited to see what you would do, and I realized that I didn't really want to be back together with you, I just liked the idea of having something constant, that I wouldn't have to worry about."

Kendall studied Jo. After a couple of seconds, he determined that she was being sincere. He knew what Jo looked like when she lied. She didn't seem angry or annoyed, but like she was getting something off of her chest. Something that she made peace with, and that made Kendall feel a little bit better.

"Well, that makes what I have to say a lot easier," he admitted.

"I already know what you're going to say," Jo said. She smiled again. "In fact, I knew what you were going to say a while ago. At least, I saw it coming at some point."

The right side of Kendall's face screwed up into a grimace. "And you're not mad at me?"

Jo shook her head. "No, I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you." She looked thoughtful. "But is there anything that I can do to help you? Do you need me to talk to Lucy or something?" She then grimaced herself. "Actually, I don't think talking to Lucy would help."

"Don't worry about that, I've already talked to her," Kendall said with a wave of his hand. "She wasn't very happy with me…and…I don't know if she'll ever not be mad at me, but I think she understood." He looked at Jo from underneath his fringe. "I'm glad that you understand too." He sucked in a deep breath. "Well, not I have to go talk to one more person and hopefully, that'll go well too."

Jo giggled quietly. "Good luck."

Kendall always wondered if there really weren't any ill feelings left behind but he and Jo did manage to be friends. They weren't as close as they were before, but they were still friends. There were times where things would get awkward, whenever someone would bring up some event that they went to together or some huge thing that happened between the two of them. They couldn't joke about it, yet, but he was sure that at some point they'd be able to get there.

"How come every time one of us brings up Jo, you wince like that?" Carlos frowned empathetically. He hated it whenever someone was upset or nervous. "You guys are friends now, aren't you?"

"Yeah, we are, but it's still kind of weird," Kendall said. He scratched the back of his neck. "And, it's like I said before. I was ready to try and start dating Riles, but she said that I needed time to myself before jumping into another relationship."

"Considering you had just started to go out with Lucy, had to choose between her and Jo, chose neither of them and chose Riley instead, yeah, I can see where that hesitation is coming from," James said sympathetically. "Just…wait a bit longer; we know that it's going to work out for you."

"Thanks." Kendall's eyebrows then lowered. "Wait, that's not what I wanted to talk about. What I wanted to say was that both of them had brought up how the music industry, or just LA in general, is a dark place, darker than we know it as and, I don't know, it just stuck with me."

"Why?" Logan's eyebrows lowered as well.

"Because they're right," Kendall said, sounding concerned. "LA is a dark place, full of greed and wanting to do whatever you could to get to the top. I mean, even they fell victim to it when Robert was pushing them to the brink to get music out." He licked his lips, looking at each of the boys with determination. "We made a pact when we first got out here that we weren't going to let Hollywood change us and I just want to be sure that we stick with it."

"Don't worry, Kendall, things are going to be ok," Logan reassured him.

"I want you to promise," Kendall insisted.

"Ok, ok!" Carlos said. "We promise. _I_ promise."

Kendall looked at Logan and James.

_This must have been bothering him for a long time. _"We promise."

"Good." Kendall let out a breath of air. He glanced down the hallway and then turned back to the guys, his disposition doing a complete one-eighty. He smiled before starting to blade down the hallways. The remaining three boys exchanged glances before going with him.

* * *

"Do you guys have blankets for the movie?"

"Yeah, I think we have enough, we got some of the bigger ones," Katie said as she poked at the stack of blankets that were sitting on the counter. She pushed up the sleeves to her jacket and looked curiously over at her mother, who was sitting on the couch, the remote in her hand. "Aren't you coming to watch the move too?"

"Nah, I think I'll just stay in," Mrs. Knight replied with a soft smile. "I've had a long day."

"Are you sure? A movie could do you some good, Mama Knight," Carlos insisted. "And it's a double feature, a RomCom and a thriller. We're watching _What's Your Number _and _Disturbia_."

To try and get some more people to be interested in coming to the PalmWoods-or just to get some more money-Bitters was starting to host some movie nights in the PalmWoods Park and that night was the first one. Logan had been recruited to help him set up a projector as well as a projection screen for everything to be put up. His money was going to be made from selling tickets as well as the refreshments that were being sold as well. It was good enough of an idea that Katie was upset that she didn't think about it first.

"It sounds like fun," Mrs. Knight said. "But you go on ahead. But make sure that you're completely bundled up, ok? I don't want any of you guys to catch a cold."

Kendall, Logan, Carlos, James, and Katie grabbed their blankets and started to leave the apartment. Kendall held by back the door, watching his mother as she started to flip through the channels, looking for something to watch. She had been like that all day, kind of quiet. When they had gotten back from Rocque Records, everyone had immediately noticed that she wasn't as upbeat as she usually was. _I hope everything's OK with her. _Kendall grabbed onto the doorknob and started to leave the apartment.

At the last second, he opened the door and turned back to his mother. "Hey Mom," he called.

"Yes, sweetie?" Mrs. Knight turned back to face her son

"Have a good night." Kendall smiled before leaving the apartment, closing the door behind him. He caught up with his friends and they took the stairwell down to the lobby of the PalmWoods, bumping into Jo Taylor, Camille Roberts, Stephanie King and the Jacksons once they arrived.

"Hey guys," Camille greeted them with a bright smile. She shook the blanket that was in her arms. "Are you all ready to have some fun?"

"If the 'fun' you're referring to is what you and Logan usually consider 'fun' then no thanks, mate," Riley quipped, causing their group of friends to laugh. Logan and Camille laughed as well, though they seemed a bit embarrassed. Everyone around the PalmWoods knew that Logan and Camille were the on-off couple that couldn't keep their hands off each other, but it was their closest friends were the ones that ruthlessly made fun of them about it.

"Otherwise, yeah, we're all ready to have some fun," Patrick said with a light roll of his eyes, snickering.

"We should find a good spot then," Jo said. "Before they all get taken up."

The group started to walk out of the PalmWoods. Kendall moved to Riley's side. "So guess what happened at Rocque Records today?" he said. Riley brushed some of her hair out of her face and tilted her head to look up at him, an expectant smile on her face. "We were playing hockey and James and Carlos beat me and Logan ten to nothing."

"Whoa! Really?" Riley's eyebrows disappeared into the fringe that fell over her face. She smirked at him. "So you're finally lost your ice skates and gained your land legs? Must have been bad timing. But no worries, Hockey-Head, your head is still shaped like a hockey puck."

"Haha." Kendall reached out and gently poked her under the ribs, causing her to laugh a little.

The group found a good spot to drop their blankets and started to set up. Katie grabbed the other end of the blanket that Kendall was carrying and the two shook it open before stepping back to drop it to the ground. "Are you gonna sit with us or were you planning on sitting with Patrick and them?"

Katie cocked an eyebrow at her brother, lifting her chin. "Why do you have to say it like that?"

"Like what?" Kendall tried not to smile.

"Like…like such an older brother," Katie said.

"Well, I'm _your_ older brother, so I think I have the right to, Baby Sister," Kendall said. He laughed at the glare that Katie sent his way. "I'm only teasing you. Relax. Go have fun."

Katie slowly smiled at her brother. "Should I say the same thing to you?" He moved a hand beside her mouth. "You may want to check your breath and fix your hair. If Riles didn't have a comment about it before, she's bound to have one soon."

Kendall faked a laugh as Katie turned on her heel and walked over to Patrick and Noah. The three of them talked for a moment before Noah turned and waved Sydney over and the four of them headed over to the popcorn stand. Kendall turned and smiled when he saw Carlos and Stephanie already on their own blanket, huddled up in another large one, looking at Stephanie's video camera, probably something that she had filmed for an upcoming film festival.

"Kendall, can you help me with this?"

Kendall turned and laughed when he saw Jo struggling with a large canopy. The frustrated look on her face probably wasn't accurately expression what she was feeling. Still laughing, Kendall walked over and grabbed onto one end of the canopy, lifting it up over his head to see what was going on. "What is this, Jo? An industrial sized military tent?"

"It may as well be," Jo laughed as well. She dropped her end, allowing Kendall to do all of the work himself. "Dad's part of the CIA remember? Most of his stuff comes from the government. Even when we go camping everything is dried out or you need to add water, even though we have the technology to cook everything while we're there."

"Poor you," Kendall teased. "You actually have to work when you're camping." Rolling his eyes, he continued to make fun of her as he tried to figure out the canopy. "When _we_ go camping, we live off the land and forge for our own food."

"Hm. That explains _so_ much," Jo teased back. She giggled and brushed her hair behind her ears. "So…" She clasped her hands together, smiling excitedly. "How are things going with you and Riles?"

Kendall smiled. "I think you're the only ex that I've managed to have that was excited about the prospect of me dating someone else," he commented.

"Has my reputations as the matchmaker already faded away?" Jo sniffed. She gave a gentle smile. "So?"

"Not as good as I'd hoped," Kendall said. He finished spreading out her blanket, which took up more space than he anticipated. "I'm surprised she hasn't said anything to you." He paused. "Actually, no I'm not. She's always so tight-lipped about this sort of thing; her private life is her private life. Even as her best friend I can't get it out of her unless she volunteers the information."

"I thought you liked that about her?" Jo's eyebrows moved rapidly up and down.

"It does," Kendall smiled. "In a good way. Like, it drives me crazy in a good way. But there are other times where it really does drive me insane." He looked over his shoulder when he heard hysterical laughter and saw that James, while he was trying to help Riley and Rhuben spread out their blanket, had instead wrapped them up inside it and wasn't letting go, no matter how many times the twin girls told James to let them go. "Like now for instance."

"That's because you're a jealous person, I think I've experienced that myself," Jo reminded him. "But it also means that you really care." She grabbed onto his arm and spun him around so that she was facing them. "Use that to your advantage. Now, go!" Jo pushed Kendall hard enough so that he stumbled over to James, Riley and Rhuben. Kendall cleared his throat and opened with a joke.

"Seems like you're giving a cry of help,"

"More like a cry of annoyance," Rhuben said, managing to stick her arms out of the blanket. She placed her hands on the ground and swung her body weight forward, flipping herself out of the blanket. Once her feet was on the ground and she was in a boat pose-or as kids called it, 'the bridge'-she lifted her upper body up so she was standing. She placed a hand on Kendal's shoulder. "Thanks for the distraction." She went over to Logan and Camille when Logan had called her name.

"Anything I can do to help," Kendall replied. He turned back to James, who was still holding the blanket closed around Riley. He gritted his teeth, trying to keep his instincts at bay and managed a smile. "D'you need help?"

"If you can keep me from kicking him in the fucking balls, sure," Riley said, though she didn't seem annoyed when James finally let her go.

"Hey, as long as it's not my face, Beautiful, I'm good," James said.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Handsome." Riley reached up and gently grabbed onto his jaw. "I wouldn't want to mar this face, not when I get to look at it all day, every day." Kendall's upper lip slowly started to curl. She ran a hand through her hair, looking back and forth between the boys. "Does anyone want any popcorn or something?"

"I'll get it," James offered, looking over at Kendall before walking over to the popcorn stand and joining the line with Patrick, Katie, Noah, and Sydney.

"So, uh, have you seen these movies before?" Kendall shook out his own blanket and placed it next to hers. He sat down in the middle of it, crossing his legs so he was sitting Indian style.

"No, because I have absolutely _no _idea who Chris Evans _or _Shia Labeouf are, why don't you enlighten me?" Riley eyes flashed as she sat across from him, stretching her legs out so that they rested in his lap. Kendall narrowed his eyes before reaching his hand out and grabbing onto hers; their thumbs moved back and forth as they started a thumb war.

"Why are you being so mean to me today?" Kendall forced a pout.

Riley raised an eyebrow, her face completely void of any emotion. "Are you serious?" her eyebrow rose even higher. "I'm just teasing you, boofhead." She reached out and flicked the tip of his nose, causing him to laugh, dropping his pout. Riley shrugged in nonchalance. "Besides, you're probably the only friend I've ever had who hasn't _really _ever gotten on my last nerve."

"Not once?" Kendall pressed. He shifted his arm, trying to pin her thumb down, but she quickly shifted her thumb back out of his way.

"Does that surprise you?" Riley blinked. "Ok, at the beginning," she relented. "Your constant asking if we were friends and talking about hockey and not going away." She shook her head. "That really got on my fucking nerves."

Kendall smirked. "Don't hold back Riles; tell me now you really feel."

"Hmm." Riley tapped her chin with the finger on her free hand. "That'd take too long."

"Are you ever not sarcastic?"

"Are you ever not a blond?" Riley tilted her head to the side as she smirked at him. "Relax, Hockey-Head. There's nothing wrong with being sarcastic; it's just another great thing about me." She winked at him before she lowered her voice, suddenly looking contemplative. "Besides, being mean to someone doesn't always mean that you don't like them."

"Yeah, because that makes perfect sense," Kendall said.

But in a way, it did.

It made a lot of sense for her and her personality in general. It was like…kindergarten psychology, you pretend to hate the person that you like. For Riley, she had a different way of making friends. According to her, she could make friends but had a hard time keeping them. And due to the pain that she had been through over the years, she went in a different way of making friends, pushing them away over and over to see who was willing to stick around. Kendall had proved that tenfold and the rest of their friends had shown that they would stay as well, even with the nicknames and the put downs and the times where she could say something that sounded innocent to her, but insulting to someone else.

Even the way that she would answer Kendall's questions with questions instead of outright answering him, it was a way to test him to see if he really would stick around. He understood it all, a lot more than she probably thought.

"Look-"Kendall gave her direct eye contact. "I get what it's like to hide out and just push people away because you feel you don't deserve it."

"Somehow I doubt that, Hockey-Head." Riley snapped her thumb forward and pinned his. "Haha! I win!" She punched the air with her fists. "And you lose, Hockey-Head. Again!"

"That's not fair, I wasn't paying attention!" Kendall couldn't help but smile at her excitement, noticing that her eyes were sparkling.

"I'll take what I can get," Riley said, her smirk growing wider. "Because I can beat you at just about everything else when I try, I have to be able to win at _something_ with little to no effort." She stuck her tong out at him, causing the two of them to laugh.

"Yeah, whatever." Kendall reached out his right hand and the two did their secret handshake. He pulled his beanie lower over his hair as the wind started to blow.

He glanced over at Riley and watched as she tried in vain to pull her hair out of her face. Kendall clenched his hands to his sides-he was trying his hardest to resist pushing her hair out of her face. But with the blowing wind, he noticed Riley move into a hunched over position, bringing her knees up to her chest as she shivered lightly. Kendall shrugged out of his hoodie and held it out to Riley.

She looked down at it, looking surprised. Her face then relaxed and smiled a little as she took it.

"Thanks, Hockey-Head."

"You're welcome."

* * *

_Scorpios love with all their heart. When they are single, they invest that energy in whatever they pursue, and they become excellent at it. Virgos are funny, witty and sarcastic._

* * *

**A/N: **Aaannnddd the drama starts. I told you the story was going to pick up with this chapter. With what was revealed in this chapter and what else is going to be revealed with all sorts of characters this story will be good. I realized that we never really had Jo and and Kendall interact after their break up (which I'm going to go more into with _It's Times Like These) _and thought that I'd start showing it here.

And how'd you like the Kiley moment? There's more where that came from.** :)**

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	5. Tests and Beaches

**.:Chapter 05:.**

* * *

_It can take some time for Scorpio to make a decision, but once they do, they firmly stick with it._

* * *

James and Kendall were laughing as they walked into the PalmWoods after a long day at Rocque Records. Gustavo had worked them hard on their vocals and they, thankfully, had been released after having gotten everything done. Logan and Carlos, unfortunately, were still being berated by Gustavo with every sound that came out of their mouths.

"How long do you think that Gustavo is going to have them there before he gets driven completely insane?" James grinned over at Kendall.

Kendall shrugged. "Probably as long as it takes for Carlos to realize that all he has to do is constantly ask questions to drive him crazy." He laughed before placing a hand on his chest. "And trust me when I say that I'm _glad _that he got tired of us."

James laughed and the two high-fived. "Do you want to play a game of Halo when we get back to the crib?"

"Sure." Kendall smirked. "It's been a while since I kicked your ass."

James opened his mouth to retort however his words trailed away when he noticed that Kendall had stopped walking and was staring into the PalmWoods Pool with a strange look on his face. His head was tilted to the side and he appeared to be trying to figure something out. James followed his gaze and saw that he was looking at Guitar Dude, who was standing pool side, talking to someone in hushed tones. James looked back at Kendall and half of his face screwed up when he saw the look of recognition that slid over Kendall's.

Kendall dropped his gaze to the ground and started to turn away from the pool. "C'mon, we should get-"

"Yo, Kendall!" Guitar Dude called.

There was a pause and at that moment Kendall recognized the "hey, boy band guy!" that came afterwards.

James's eyes darted to Kendall, who slowly turned back towards Guitar Dude and his companion. Kendall's jaw was set, but when he turned around completely, it dropped into a smile and he waved. Kendall hesitantly took a step forward and the two walked into the pool area, the humid chlorine filled air immediately striking them.

"Lance here says that he knows ya," Guitar Dude pointed over to the guy standing next to him.

Kendall studied Lance, noticing that his eyes were clear and he didn't seem as jittery as he was the night of the hockey game. "Yeah, we bumped into each other recently." He scratched the back of his neck. "He was at the hockey game that we went to." Beside him, Kendall could hear James's sharp intake of breath, immediately recognizing the conversation that they had had before.

Guitar Dude looked at Lance and he smiled knowingly. "Yeah, Lance is a cool guy. He's got me through some pretty rough spots." He looked around the pool, lowering his voice. "In fact, he was just helping me through another little problem of mine."

_No doubt what that is. _Kendall looked around too. He suddenly felt as if he was being watched or that someone was aware of his every move. His skin crawled and he did his best not to hug his arms to his body to protect himself. He didn't know where the feeling came from but it was unsettling.

"I could help you guys out, too, if you need it," Lance said with a lift of his eyebrows.

"No, we're good," Kendall said quickly. He looked at James and saw that his eyebrows were lowered and he was looking at Guitar Dude and Lance with obvious disdain. "But…thanks for the offer." He tripped over the words, not sure what to say. It was obvious what this guy was doing and what Guitar Dude had to do with the situation. It made sense now; Guitar Dude's disposition wasn't only because he was so happy and full of life. _His constant use of those fucking sunglasses should have tipped me off._

"No big deal." Lance held out his hand towards Kendall. He looked Lance right in the eyes, his green eyes meeting the other guy's bright brown ones. They showed nothing but cheerfulness and friendliness. All of Kendall's suspicions moved away and he reached out and shook Lance's hand, quickly shoving it back into his pocket. "Good to see you again."

"Right." Kendall nodded before using the movement to signal that they had to go. "We'll see you later then, I guess, Guitar Dude." Guitar Dude smiled and nodded back. Kendall turned on his heel and walked with James out of the PalmWoods Pool. He kept his hands in his pockets, his eyes darting back and forth over every person that walked by them.

James grabbed Kendall's arm, pulling him to a stop. With the same tug, he pulled Kendall around so that he was facing him. All of the amusement that they had felt when they had arrived at the PalmWoods was not gone. "Dude, are you ok?"

Kendall smiled and shrugged, slapping his arms down to his sides. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know…" James crossed his arms. "You just seem kind of…weird. I can't explain it; you've been like that for a couple of weeks now." He looked at Kendall seriously. "You know that you can talk to me if you ever need to. I know it's not a good way to repay you for all of the times that you let me stay over at your house-"

"I told you that you didn't have to repay me for that," Kendall interrupted. "I would have done it anyway."

"And I hope that you know that it goes both ways," James reminded him firmly. "I can talk to you about my parents; you can talk to me about your Dad-"

"What does my Dad have anything to do with this?"Now Kendall's face screwed up in confusion.

"I'm just giving an example," James uttered. "So whatever was going on over there,"-he gestured towards the PalmWoods Pool-"if it really bothers you, then you know that I'll help you if you need it." He studied Kendall. "Carlos and Logan too."

"I know." Kendall smiled. "But I can handle it myself. I'm fine." His fingers twitched at his sides and he scratched his forehead. "Hey, I just remembered that I have to call my Mom, she said something about wanting me to let her know when I got back." He shrugged. "Something about her and Katie going out, I don't remember." He reached out and slapped James on the shoulder. "So I'll meet you at the crib and kick your ass in Halo in a few minutes."

James looked like he didn't want to drop the subject, but Kendall's challenge made him smile and walk off towards the stairwell. Kendall waited until he was out of sight before turning and walking out of the PalmWoods. He ducked around the side of the building, being careful that no one saw him. As soon as he was sure that he was alone, he pulled a cigarette and a lighter out of his pocket. Cupping a hand around the lighter, he lit the end of his cigarette and replaced the lighter in his pocket. Kendall brought the cigarette up to his mouth and took a drag from it, letting the smoke out in a heavy sigh.

He then glanced down at the cigarette nestled between his fingers and dropped it to the ground, grinding it out with the toe of his shoe. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his balled fist and turned. He snapped his arm forward, heaving the object over the fence and out of sight. Resting his back against the wall once more, he Kendall ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

Closing his eyes as he let out another breath. _What am I going to do?_

After a couple of minutes, he calmed himself down and walked back into the PalmWoods. He passed by Bitters' odd look and took the stairs up to the apartment, skipping a few of them as he went. His had more energy now than he had before.

Nervous energy.

"Finally!" James called as soon as Kendall entered the apartment. He barely looked away from the TV. "I was starting to think that I was going to have to play these guys on the internet." He lowered the microphone of the headset that he had on his head. "And they're _bad_, believe me. But they're better at losing than you are so…" He shrugged. When he didn't get a response, he turned to Kendall, who had tossed his set of keys onto the counter and was staring down at it. "Kendall?"

"Oh, sorry. I was trying to remember what Mom had just told me to do," Kendall said quickly, snapping his head back to James. "But for the life of me, I can't remember. Dumb blonde, right?" He shook his head before walking over to join James on the couch. He reached out and grabbed onto another headset and slid it over his ears before picking up the wireless controller that he had dibsed. "Ok, now let's see who the better player at this game really is. Namely, me."

"Yeah, yeah."

James started up the game and the two got lost in their battle against aliens.

* * *

Riley yawned loudly.

She rubbed her eyes and ran her hands over her face. Her computer screen illuminated the otherwise dark room, causing her to squint; it was still pretty bright, even if she dimmed the screen. Resting her chin in her hand, she looked over the many word documents that lined her screen, trying to figure out where to start. When that didn't work for her, she picked up the notebook that was sitting beside her and flipped it open, looking through a few pages, sighing at the words that were scrawled all over the pages.

Some pages were filled others were half empty; some were even ripped out and stapled back in. But every page had scribbles; some were scratched out and completely re-written, others had been scrawled so much she could barely read her own handwriting. It was different from the rest of the notebook that was put in neat handwriting, showing all of the thoughts that came to mind, the stories that she wrote, and recaps of what happened in the day, song lyrics, and memos to herself.

Riley rested her chin in her hand as she briefly scanned the pages, looking over the scribbles and scratches. Before she closed the notebook, she reached out and god-eared the page. Dropping her pen, she reached out and firmly closed her laptop, briefly glancing at the clock in the corner before it closed.

It was two in the morning.

_Four hours until I have to wake up. _Stretching her arms over her head, she abandoned her laptop and notebook on the couch and started to leave the room, walking slowly as she waited for her eyes to adjust. She debated whether or not she was going to go on a long walk and ultimately decided against it. Her eyes moved over to the security system that was by the front door, checking that it was set before she headed up the stairs to her room. While she walked into her room, she used her phone to light the way to her bed.

_Thud!_

She immediately stopped in her tracks; it would have been comical to see the pose that she was in. One hand in the air, holding onto her phone, the other by her side, one foot off of the floor, like she was told to stop as she was running away from someone. But she had only been walking into her room, she wasn't really going anywhere. Riley's mind raced with a million thoughts that would explain what the sound was. Something hitting the window? The branches didn't extend far enough so that it would touch the window. It was good enough to climb in and out of her window if she ever needed it (and because she knew how calculated of a reach it would take to get there) but not enough to make a sound. Everyone else was asleep, their pets were in their cages and the dogs would have started barking if they had heard anything. The alarm was on and had been for ages.

_Thud_!

Riley quickly leapt onto her bed and pulled the sheets over her head as fast as she could, leaving her phone by her face so that she would be able to push a button and illuminate it when she needed to. After a couple of seconds of creeper like breathing, she felt ridiculous. Here she was, scared at the slightest sound that any house could make. She had seen things a lot scarier than that and here she was, jumping at any slight sound. It was pathetic. _Get a grip, Riles. The house settles, all houses do. _She curled her legs up to her chest and rested her hands by her face, the familiar position giving her a sense of security. Her eyelids started to droop after a couple of minutes and right when she was about to fall asleep she saw what appeared to be a shadow moving out of the corner of her eye. Riley slammed her eyes shut, pulling her covers closer to her body. A few minutes later she had fallen asleep, her hands clenched into fists, ready to fight whatever was coming her way.

* * *

She woke up the next morning with her siblings and they fell into their normal routine. Up at six and went to the gym to get their morning workout done. Then at seven thirty they had breakfast and took turns in the shower so they could stay on time (as usual there was a screaming match to get Patrick out of the bathroom when he had gone over his allotted time) and then at eight they were off to the PalmWoods to go to school. Most of the time they were homeschooled by Ronan, but that day they were going to the PalmWoods School as he had important meetings to go to that morning.

"Are we supposed to have a test today?" Noah asked as they walked through the PalmWoods lobby and headed towards the crib. He looked at his watch. "We still have a half hour until class starts, which should be enough time to study."

Patrick snorted loudly. "Who studies?"

"I do!" Sydney piped up. "And so does Noah." He turned and started to walk backwards so that he could continue to address his siblings. "The only ones out of all of us that get bad grades if you three. And I think that Ronan's extra attention on you guys proves my point."

"Please." Riley placed her hands on her hips. "The only reason he gives me extra attention is because of how backed up I am on my art projects…and because I turn some things in as early as possible so that I can procrastinate on everything else." She gave an exaggerated smile. "I gotta keep him on his toes somehow."

She and her siblings laughed and they went up to the apartment, knocking twice before they went in. Mrs. Knight smiled warmly at them as she turned away from the stove. "Hey there," she said. "How are you all doing today?"

"Good," Patrick replied. He sniffed the air. "Is that bacon I smell?" His eyes lit up as he moved over towards the empty seat at the breakfast table.

"Pat, you just ate," Rhuben said. She rolled her eyes as she turned back to Mrs. Knight. "I'm sorry about this Mama Knight; we tried to teach him manners when he was younger." She brushed her purple strand of hair out of her eyes with a flick of her fingers. She exchanged a smirk with Noah. "But it just went right out that empty hole in his head that we're constantly trying to fill."

Mrs. Knight laughed along with Katie, James, Carlos, and Logan who were already sitting at the breakfast table. Patrick ignored the dig. "Don't worry about it." She waved it off. "There's plenty more where that came from." She looked at her watch before turning towards the back of the apartment where the bedrooms were. "Where's Kendall? He's going to be late for school if he doesn't wake up now."

"I'll get him!" Carlos started to get out of his chair, but Logan reached out and pushed him back down.

"The last time you woke him up, you and Katie took a giant bucket of water and dumped it all over him," Logan said. He ignored Katie's laugh and smile of pride as she exchanged a high-five with James and Patrick and Noah. "And the time before that, you thought it was a good idea to cannon ball onto him and he launched you into the wall, which broke a hole into said wall and that gave us a strike from Bitters."

"Yeah, but that was funny, you have to admit," Carlos said.

Logan smiled a little.

It _was_ kind of funny.

He didn't think that Kendall had fast enough reflexes to move as soon as Carlos jumped on him and projective launch him into the nearby wall. Kendall nearly died of laughter when he had seen what he had done, James and Katie laughed nearly as hard, Carlos was dazed, and Logan and Mrs. Knight worried about how much money it was going to take to fix the hole.

"I'll get him," Riley offered. "He needs a swift kick to the ass this morning anyway." She reached out and drummed her fingers on Patrick's head. "Just like he does whenever we wake you up to go to the gym."

"So you're going to literally kick his ass out of bed?" Rhuben's eyebrow rose.

"If not anything more violent," Riley said with a laugh.

She dropped her backpack to the ground and walked into the room that Kendall and Logan shared. She laughed quietly at his sleeping form, sprawled out on his bed, the sheets everywhere. Riley glanced over the tattoos that were on his back; the peace sign and the Scorpio sign, remembering when she had first found out about his tattoos. She was impressed as it seemed that none of the guys were…bad enough to have them. She personally didn't believe that people that were considered bad were the only ones that got tattoos, but the social stigma was there. Riley reached over and grabbed one of his many pillows and lifted it over her head before smacking him on the back.

Kendall groaned and turned his head to the side. "Carlos, I swear to god if you wake me up again-"

"Thankfully it's a more pleasant face you're looking at Hockey-Head," Riley said, tossing the pillow away. She crossed her arms over her chest, tilting her head to the side. "Mornin', sleepy head." She gave a sweet smile.

"What time is it?" His voice thick with sleep, he brought a hand up and rubbed his eyes.

"Oh, god, morning breath." Riley clasped her hands over her mouth for a few moments before dropping them again. "Almost time for school," Riley said with a roll of her eyes. "As clichéd as that sounds," she added. "I feel like your mum or something."

"It's too fucking early." Kendall turned his head away. "I don't want to go to school. Go away."

Riley made a 'tsk' sound with her mouth before reaching out and poking him in the sides, causing him to jump and jerk away from her muttering 'I hate it when you do that'. "You can't tell me to go away, I'm your guest."

He sat up and looked at her, eyes half open. "I'm tired as hell and I'm _not_ in the mood to do this."

"Well, excuse me, Kendork, but we all have to do something that we don't want to do sometimes." Kendall rolled over to look at her and she immediately clammed up. She didn't want to have to go into it, there were too many things that he could ask and they would all be loaded questions. Things that he probably didn't want to hear and things she definitely didn't want to talk about it. "Anyway, Mama Knight didn't let you guys come out here for your lazy ass be in bed all day. You can sleep when you're dead and if you don't get up soon, I might make that happen," she warned.

"Is that a threat?" Kendall looked amused, giving a boyish smile, half of his face still hidden against his pillow.

"Do you want it to be?" Riley returned. "Get up!" Riley started to pull on his legs. "I'll pull you off. You know I will."

"Do it and it'll be the last thing you do," He warned, gripping onto the top of his bed. Riley smirked and continued to pull him. "I swear to God, Riles, I'll beat the shit out of you." Riley immediately let go of his legs and took a couple steps back away from him. Kendall closed his eyes before running a hand over his face.

"Sorry," he apologized quickly. "I didn't mean it."

"No worries." Riley raised and lowered her left shoulder in a shrug. "It's not like I haven't heard it before." She gave a hollow laugh before her voice went flat. "So are you going to get up or what?" She looked at her feet, lightly kicking at the ground. Her eyes moved over the mess that was on his side of the room, compared to Logan's immaculately clean side.

Kendall got up, throwing the covers off of him and towards the end of the bed before getting out. "Yeah, yeah, I'm going." He grabbed a pair of jeans off of the floor and jumped into them, before pulling up the zipper. "By the way, did you know that Guitar Dude smokes pot?"

Riley's eyebrow rose. "Makes sense," she said after a minute.

"You knew?"

"Seriously? I speculated. It makes sense." Her eyebrows dropped and then her eyes narrowed. "What made you bring it up all of a sudden? You usually don't have tidbits like that unless it's_ extremely _random."

Kendall shrugged into the t-shirt he was pulling over his head. "You know that guy that I was telling you about in the bathroom at the hockey game?" Riley nodded. "Apparently his name is Lance and he gets Guitar Dude his weed." He shook his head. "It just makes so much sense now. There are more things that go on in this industry than I originally thought." He looked over at her. "He wanted to know if I wanted more coke."

"I'm telling you, dude, if you want to get through his unscathed, then you have to cut ties with people that are bad for you as soon as you find them out." The seriousness in Riley's face and tone weren't lost on Kendall.

"We don't even hang out with him, so there's no worry there." Kendall gathered his school books and haphazardly threw them into his backpack before grabbing his shoes and sliding them onto his feet. "And we already made another promise to say that we're not going to let anything of the industry change us."

"That's funny," Riley remarked, sliding her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. She cocked her hip. "Considering you guys _have _changed."

"I think I'd know if we did," Kendall said, slightly offended.

Riley's eyes widened for a moment and she muttered something under her breath before looking at him again. _That's what you think._ "You know how people look at their life now and they see that nothing's happening?" Kendall nodded. "They're wrong. If you look at the past, you'll notice that things have changed."

With that, she turned on her heel and walked out of the room. Kendall's eyebrows twitched as he followed her, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. He ran a hand over his face and gave his mother a sheepish smile when he noticed her look at her watch and then over to him.

"Sorry Mom, I wasn't feeling that great this morning," he explained.

His mother immediately adopted a look of concern. "Do you have a fever?" She pressed her hand to his forehead before cupping his cheeks with her hands. He flushed, hearing Logan, James, and Carlos snicker behind him. No matter how old he got, he was going to be a momma's boy and they were not going to let her forget it. "You do feel kind of warm."

"I'm fine now," Kendall said, pulling his face away from her grasp. "Don't worry about it." He turned to face his friends and little sister. "You guys ready to go?" He gave his mother a kiss on the cheek as he followed everyone out of the apartment and down to the PalmWoods School.

"Hey!" Camille gave a surprised smile when she saw the Jacksons file into the room with their friends. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Did Ronan have another meeting today?" Stephanie closed her view finder on her video camera and moved her chair in so that they could get by and move into their seats.

"Yeah, it was for marketing this time," Rhuben said. She jerked her thumb over towards Riley and Carlos. "He's trying to keep the company from capitalizing on the whole kiss cam thing."

Riley looked over at Kendall, along with the others, when he noisily dropped his backpack to the ground and dropped into his chair. "Why are we _still_ talking about that?" He brought his foot up against his desk and started to rock back and forth, his eyes flashing. "The fans got over it, its old news."

_And you're mistaken if you really think that the fans are over it. _Riley briefly closed her eyes as she thought about it. Part of her time online the night before, she ended up looking at comments on different blog sites and ScuttButts that she got from fans. There were a lot of them hat were in support of her, but of course, there were ones that weren't. She prided herself on being able to say that she didn't care what people thought about her, but she did care a little bit. And she could admit that from time to time she purposefully went to see what the negative comments said.

As usual, it only reinforced the negative thoughts that she had about herself already. So if Kendall thought that people were over it, then he was sadly mistaken.

"It's not our fault you're jealous of our love," Carlos said, bringing Riley into his side for a hug.

Kendall scowled. "I'm not jealous," he said a little too quickly. "I just think its old news." His drumming of his fingers on his desk said otherwise. Riley exchanged glanced with Sydney, who rolled his eyes and shook his head, although he was smiling a little. "Besides, Steph isn't jealous."

"That's because you couldn't pry apart Steph and Carlos even if you had a crowbar," Jo teased.

"Don't you guys ever talk about anything but who's dating who?" Katie asked. Her upper lip was curled and she was hunched over her desk, her arms around her stack of books and notebooks. "It gets old, fast."

"Well, we could always talk about James's hair," Logan offered, nudging Katie on the arm. She shot him a glare, smacking him. "Oh, Miss. Collins is here."

The class all moved into their seats and waited for Miss. Collins to start class. She walked to the front of the room and placed her books onto the desk before addressing the class a bright smile on her face. She clasped her hands together and gave a bright smile. "Class, today we have an examination on our last English unit-"she waited for the groans to stop before she continued. "-once you're finished, you're allowed to leave for the day."

She picked up a stack of paper and started to pass it around to the students. Once the tests were distributed, she went back to her desk and started to grade another stack of papers. Everyone got to work.

Kendall rested his forehead in his hand as he looked over the questions on the test. He didn't understand any of what it was asking. It was supposed to be on the last book they had to read for class and he read it…but didn't remember anything from it. He had too much to think about when it came to working on the band as well as the most recent events that had gone on.

This test wasn't looking good for him.

_I'm screwed. _Kendall let out a heavy sigh and glanced around the room. He was surprised to see that James and even Carlos looked like they knew what they were doing when it came to the test. Logan was breezing through it, of course. He turned his attention in front of him, frowning when he noticed that Riley's head bobbing a few times, even shaking back and forth when she wasn't dipping. _What's wrong with her?_

Kendall did his best with what he could answer-ignoring Logan and the other students that finished their tests rather quickly-and when he felt that there was nothing else that he could do, he got up from his seat, and walked his test over to Miss. Collins. She wasn't smiling when he handed his test over.

"Are you sure you're finished?" She studied Kendall carefully.

"As finished as I can be," Kendall said honestly. He nervously played with a zipper on his backpack as Miss. Collins shuffled through papers that were sitting in front of her. He glanced at the top and with a sinking feeling, realized that they were the last tests that they had taken weeks ago. _Oh boy. _He took the test she was handing back and slowly glanced at the top. He wasn't surprised to see a big, red, _D- _sitting there. It would probably match the grade that he was going to get on the new test.

"Kendall, this is the third low grade that you've gotten on a test," Miss. Collins lowered her voice so no one else would hear. "I'm afraid that you're just going to keep doing badly. If you need help, please don't hesitate to ask."

"I don't need help, Miss. Collins," Kendall said quickly. "Really. I'm just…in a bit of a rut. I'll do better."

"I hope so." Miss. Collins tapped her pen against her desk. "If you don't improve, I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist on a meeting with your mother so we can talk about your class performances. You're a bright student; you can do anything you put your mind to when you have the passion for it."

Kendall smiled modestly. It was usually what he was known for, his passion and drive for what he believed in. Whether it was for a hockey game, playing a video game, defending a friend, or even just playing the guitar, if it was something he believed in, then it showed in everything he did. But for everything else…it wasn't particularly his interest and it showed. It wasn't that he didn't like school, he enjoyed it for the most part, and history was his best subject.

It was just…weird, he wasn't feeling like himself and he didn't know why.

"I truly hope that you can show me that you can juggle school and your band, Kendall," Miss. Collins continued. "I know you can do it."

Kendall smiled his thanks and walked out of the classroom. He crumpled up the old test and shoved it into his backpack. There was no way that he was going to let his mother see it after he had gotten out of class so soon. He needed to get out of there for a while.

Turning on his heels, he looked around to see what his friends were doing. He could see Logan at the PalmWoods Pool, books open and taking notes, probably getting ready for their next test, and Carlos and James had gone in the direction of the crib, probably to play another round of Halo. When he and James had played the night before, Logan and Carlos wandered in and it was a free for all that ended up with James and Carlos rolling on the ground, fighting over who was the better player despite the circumstances of the somewhat questionable rounds they had played. If the other guys ever became as competitive as Kendall, it was over a video game. It caused the others to move out once before, who knew what it could do if they _really_ got into it.

"Could you please move, K-Dawg, you're blocking the way," Sydney said as he reached out a hand and pushed Kendall on his back, moving him a few feet forward.

"Sorry." Kendall turned to face the Jacksons. He reached out a hand and gave Sydney a high-five. "I figured that you would have been done with your test in seconds."

"He was," Patrick said with a scowl. "He stayed back so he could check his answers five times."

"It was seven actually," Noah corrected him in his soft voice. "I counted." He gave a smile as Sydney shook his head and stage whispered, 'it's so hard being so smart'.

"I can imagine, Syd," Kendall said with a warm smile. He sucked in a breath. "So what are you guys planning on doing now? Do you have studio work to do? D'you wanna hang out?"

"I gotta take Little Man to swim practice," Rhuben said, tapping her fingers on Sydney's head, causing him to giggle and ducked his head out of the way. "It's my turn to go and Ronan'll kill me if I left him there by himself."

"We were gonna hang out with Katie and the girls at the pool," Patrick added to which Noah nodded to.

"Oh." Kendall was a bit disappointed.

Though he did spend more of his time with Riley, he did enjoy spending as much time as he could hanging out with each of the Jacksons individually and all together. It was sort of weird at first, especially since they were all different ages, Sydney being five years younger than Patrick and Noah and seven years younger than Riley and Rhuben. But their crazy antics and their rambunctiousness whether together or on their own was energizing. And he did different things when he hung out with each of them so there was always something to do. All of their different but similar personalities made things fun.

He turned to Riley. "What about you? What're you doing?"

"What d'you think?" Riley shifted her backpack up her shoulder. "I'm headed out to the beach." She turned to Rhuben and handed her a set of car keys. "Here are the keys to the van." She leaned over and kissed Sydney on the forehead. "Have a good practice; I'll meet you guys there when I'm done."

Kendall waved to the Rhuben, Patrick, Noah, and Sydney before hurrying after Riley as she started to walk out of the PalmWoods, her head bent and looking at her feet. He mimicked the incline of her head to look at her face. Her eyebrows were lowered in a serious expression of annoyance.

"So…what's up?" Kendall cringed as soon as the words came out of his mouth. _Yeah, that was really smooth, Kendall. _He could tell that she was thinking the same thing from the way her eyebrow rose, but her gaze was still on the ground. "How'd your test go?"

"I failed." She said it so simply that it surprised him. He even laughed a little bit.

"You? Fail an English test? That's a laugh!" Kendall flipped his fringe out of his face as they started to walk through the parking lot. He had no idea which direction she was going on, but she didn't say anything about not wanting him around so he took it as a good sign. "You and Benny help us guys with our papers all the time; it's your best subject."

"Yeah, well, you kinda can't pass if you don't write anything down, mate," Riley started to rub her arm.

"You didn't write anything down?" He repeated.

"No, Kendall!" Riley glared at him, her dark eyes flashing dangerously. "I didn't write anything down. Because I kept catching zeds. And if I was already nodding off, how was I going to concentrate and finish the fucking test?" She lifted her head. "It's not a big deal; it's just one test anyway. I can make it up later."

"But…don't you think that if you were falling asleep that something's wrong?"

"Yeah, I have insomnia, I've know that for years. In fact, people say that the worst time to get sleep is when you're on tour and that's the best time for me to get sleep." She threw her hands into the air. "What with the long stretches of travel." Kendall blinked in surprise, stopping short when she rounded on him, her face starting to turn red. She sneered at him. "And it's none of your business anyway, what I do or don't do! So I made a blue, so what?"

"Well you don't have to take it out on me!" Kendall snapped back. Now it was Riley's turn to look a little surprised, but it was quickly replaced by her anger once more. "I'm just trying to help you. Trying to talk to you. Excuse me for trying to be your best friend!"

"Do you _always _have to throw that in my face whenever we're in a fight?"

"I'm just trying to remind you that no matter how much you try to push me away, no matter what's bothering you, I'm here to help you."

"I don't _need _your help." Riley looked like she could kill, which confused him even more, not sure why she was so mad. "Get out of my face!" She brushed her pigtails behind her shoulders and started walking again. Kendall waited a few moments before he started to follow her. It only took her a few moments until she noticed. "Why are you following me?" Exasperation in her tone, Riley didn't have to turn around to know that he was there.

"You said 'get out of my face' not that you didn't want me around," Kendall reminded her.

_Boofheaad. _Riley stopped walking. She gently shook her head, giving a small smile as she turned to face Kendall. He was standing a few steps behind her, one hand on his backpack strap, a shy expression on his face. Riley let out a heavy sigh. "C'mon." She waved a hand and he immediately brightened striding to her side. Once he reached her side, she nudged him with her shoulder. He nudged her back, almost knocking her off balance.

"Sorry, I didn't know you couldn't walk," Kendall teased.

"Belt up," Riley said, using both of her hands to shove him back. She let out a shriek of laughter when he moved behind her and grabbed onto her shoulders, jumping onto her back with a yell of 'go, horsey, go!'. Riley grabbed onto his legs to keep him from falling as she bent forward to accommodate his weight on her back. "Ugh, you're so heavy."

"Yeah, well, you owe me from all the times I give you piggy back rides," Kendall said, loosely draping his arms over her shoulders. He lowered his legs a little so his weight wasn't pressing as heavily into her back.

"I only weigh, like, two pounds, you weigh two hundred." She shifted him up her back, letting out a slight grunt as she did so.

"Trust me, you don't weight two pounds," Kendall said. He let out a cry of pain when Riley reached out and punched him on the thigh. "Ow!"

"Next thing I know, you're going to say that I'm not pretty," Riley grumbled.

"Well, you're an insomniac, a few weeks without sleep won't help you anyway," Kendall said laughing. Riley punched him again, harder this time. "What I meant was you couldn't sleep at all and I'd still think you look pretty." He leaned forward and looked into her face, beaming when he saw that she was blushing lightly. "There's the smile I was looking for."

_Nice save. _Riley slid Kendall off of his back and the two continued to the bus stop in comfortable silence. When it arrived, they climbed on and took it to the beach. Once there, Riley immediately took off her shoes and socks and left them with her backpack, dropped them in the sand, walking into the water. It was kind of cold, but not enough so that she would want to run back and try to warm up as quickly as possible. Splashing around in the water a little bit, her mind wandered.

It was the most…content she felt in a while. She couldn't say happy, because she didn't really remember what being happy was. She knew what it was like to be around people she liked and had fun with, the guys were nothing but balls of energy that she and her siblings easily blended into, but she didn't really know what it was like to be happy. To not think that something was coming out to get her, to not think that she had to push people away because she wasn't sure what their true intentions were, to not be able to completely open herself up to people that obviously cared about her.

Kendall didn't know it, but she had to try really hard not to let out a scream of terror when he had jumped onto her back. It had startled her so badly that her first reaction was to drop him, kick him, and run away as fast as she possibly could. Except her conscious immediately beat out her subconscious and reminded her that Kendall would never hurt her in the way that Robert had. The guys didn't understand that having been abused and being adopted didn't make things go away as quickly as they made it seem. To Big Time Rush, Kelly, Gustavo, Mrs. Knight, and Katie as soon as Ronan adopted them, things did a complete one-eighty and they just got better.

That was far from the truth. Things still plagued them; they just got even better at hiding it. They were probably going to be haunted by everything that happened to them the rest of their lives; however, it was up to them whether or not they were going to let it take over their lives. Furthermore, at that point, Riley wasn't sure what was going to happen. That's what she was afraid of, the future, not knowing what was going to happen. That's why she lived her life day by day rather than freaking out about something she couldn't know.

_Fuck it. _Riley looked down at her hands, they were still shaking. No matter how hard she tried to keep them still, they would move uncontrollably. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a slow breath, calming herself down. _I just need to paint or draw or something, that's why you came out here. To calm down and to get one of your projects done_.

Taking a break from the waves that crashed onto the shore, Riley turned towards her belongings, finding Kendall sitting dutifully by their stuff, legs stretched out, and his hands in the sand behind him. Her gaze was taken over by movement up on the sidewalk that led to the beach. Almost as if she had heard her name called. It wasn't unusual to have people coming and going from the beach. Hell, she and Kendall weren't the only ones there; there were a few couples and families on the beach with them a ways away.

But this person was different.

He wasn't dressed for the beach at all; in fact they were wearing a heavy sweatshirt, even though it was close to ninety degrees. Riley peered closer at the figure and the startling realization caused her to take a step back and move a hand to her stomach, as if she had just been punched.

Kendall noticed her movements and his eyebrows knitted together. He shielded his face from the sun to get a good look at her. "You ok?"

Numbly, Riley nodded.

She forced her gaze away from the figure and walked over to him. She could feel every hair on the back of her neck and on her arms stand up. Every step she took, she could feel a pair of eyes burning into her. Dropping to her knees by her backpack, Riley rummaged through it, taking out her large sketchpad and a pencil. She searched for an eraser.

"I'm just going to draw the landscape and stuff and since you don't like fine art, you can take a walk if you want, Hockey-Head," Riley muttered, still looking through her bag.

"I'm fine," Kendall said.

Riley found the eraser and pulled it out. She took the time to look up to see if he person was still there and let out a sigh of relief when she saw that they were gone. Turning around, she stretched her legs out onto the sand and balanced her sketchbook against her bent knees. Flipping her pencil in her hand, she leaned forward and started to sketch the horizon. Each move of her hand caused her arm to brush against Kendall's, though neither of them moved away or apologized.

She was starting on the waves when an unsettling thought slammed into her head.

What if she had just imagined it?

* * *

_Virgos can be very distant, even from people they like being around._

* * *

**A/N: **Not particularly happy with this chapter, but like I said, none of them are fillers and all of them are important.

The answer to the trivia question: Every time Riley's in a scene with Kendall or interacts with him, she tilts her head to the side. Someone asked if I did it to show it was when she was flirting with him and idk, I never thought of it.

The other guys, Katie, and the rest of DE get bigger parts starting with the next chapter. Cause while this story is mainly on Kendall and Riley (of course) the other characters are needed as well, I just had the first couple of chapters really set up the whole story and hint towards what's going on between the two of them individually and together. Jo, Camille, and Stephanie will appear more as the story goes on. I accidentally switched back and forth from Kendall's and Riley's POV as the chapter went on and that's not what I meant to happen, so sorry about that. But I do write in third person omniscient so I guess its ok.

Oh and this story brings in some elements from _You're Not Alone _and _Playing with Fire _that I had touched on but didn't expand upon before those stories ended.

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	6. Heart Attacks and Self Doubts

**.:Chapter 06:.**

* * *

_Scorpios are loyal, reliable and always there when you need them. They're also very protective of their loved ones._

* * *

You don't know what you're doing.

Everything you do is going to turn out wrong.

Every doubt you've ever had is justified and you need to realize that you need more help than you're willing to admit.

Kendall let out a groan of frustration, roughly shaking his head back and forth. He let out a breath through his nose, looking over the homework that spiraled back at him. His pen tapping up and down against his notebook, Kendall shifted in his seat, resting his cheek in his hand. His green eyes lifted and he looked around the apartment; Logan, who had already finished his homework, was sitting on the couch, intently watching some documentary on TV, James was sitting at Kendall's side, looking at his phone, completely ignoring his homework, Carlos was tilted back in his chair, holding his textbook over his head as he studied, and Katie was dutifully writing in her own notebook.

Resting his hands behind his head, Kendall tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling in desperation. _So I didn't do a good job on a couple of tests, is it really going to kill me in the long run? _All he wanted to do was…well, anything that didn't require his brain power at the moment. He would even choose to sit and listen to Gustavo scream at him for hours than do homework. He would even take his mother grocery shopping and she _never _let anyone go with her when she went grocery shopping. _Why did Logan have to choose now to be the time where he refused to do everyone's homework?_

He jumped a little when he heard James's cell phone start to ring. He couldn't even get the luxury of someone calling him or texting him to break him away from the perils of homework. _James gets all the breaks. _He lifted his gaze and smiled at Katie, who rolled her eyes, seeming to have her own problems with her homework. It looked like she had enough done, unfortunately for her, the Knight gene seemed to be that their problems lied in their tiny bit of procrastination. The two Knights rolled their eyes again as James answered his phone loudly.

"Hello?" After a few seconds of waiting, James perked up a little bit, his hazel eyes lighting up. "Hey, Mom! What's going on? Hey, could you send me more of that body wash stuff that you have? It smells _really_ good and I need to-"He paused, listening to his mother speak on the other end. "What's wrong, Mom? You sound funny?"

Noticing the change in his best friend's demeanor; Carlos dropped to the floor, lowering his book. His face immediately dropped from a expression of complete boredom to intense empathy. Kendall was never sure how, but Carlos always had a way to knowing whenever someone needed cheering up. He adopted someone else's problem and felt as badly as they did about it. Kendall's eyebrows lowered and he slowed his tapping of his pen, watching James's face as it slowly dropped. James pushed back his chair and walked into his room, talking under his breath.

"What was that about?" Carlos asked out loud.

Kendall and Katie shrugged.

What could it be? James never particularly got upset over anything if it had to do with him. He didn't focus too much on his own problems if it didn't have to do with his hair, his clothes, or his overall appearance. He cared more about what was going on with someone else. Did he try to find himself a date for the first PalmWoods dance? No, he decided to help Logan get a date with Camille. So it caused James to ask out, like, ten girls that all chased him at the dance, but he was still being selfless about it. He even tried to help Carlos get a date with Heather Fox after he had thrown away Carlos's confession letter to her when they were kids. Yes, she liked _him _at the time, but James threw the opportunity away for his best friend. And he jumped in at the chance to kick Beau out of the PalmWoods. Yeah, he wanted to be sure that he was _the best_ looking guy at the PalmWoods, but he wanted to help Lucy out too.

No one hurt his friends and got away with it. James could be a bit narcissistic, but he wasn't heartless. The fact that all of them-even Logan, who had turned away from the TV-could see that there was immediately something wrong with him, noticing his change in demeanor, made them stand at attention. Kendall felt his hands instinctively clench into fists, wondering what it was that could have hurt his friend so badly. He was ready to jump out of his seat and go and find whoever it was, no matter who it was, he was ready. But all of that changed when James walked back out of his room, slowly putting his phone back in his pocket.

"What's wrong, James?" Carlos asked it in such a quiet voice that Kendall wasn't even sure that he heard him say it in the first place. He was surprised to find that his heart was beating rapidly, as if he already knew what was going to come out of James's mouth. Logan turned off the TV and walked over to the table that Kendall, Katie, and Carlos were gathered around, resting his hands on the edge. His fingers curled around the edge of the table as they waited.

James looked up at them, his eyes brimming with tears. Hastily, he wiped them away and sucked in a sharp breath through his nose, letting it out of his mouth shakily. "Um." He let out a short laugh. "Uh, that was my mom."

"I think we already got that," Katie started o say, but a sharp look from Kendall immediately shut her up. Biting her lip, she lowered her gaze, waiting for James to gather the courage to let the words come out.

"That was my mom," James repeated. "She, uh, she called to say that...my Dad….he, uh…he had a heart attack." Carlos immediately let out a gasp and then made a whimpering sound when he covered his mouth with his hands. Kendall's mouth dropped, not sure what to say. James was never particularly close with his father since his parents' divorce, but it was still his dad, the man that he probably still looked up.

"Sorry, James," Logan said quietly. He ran a hand through his hair. "I-is he ok?" He licked his lips then shuffled his feet, not sure what to do. James walked over to his seat and dropped into it. He used the heel of his palm to wipe at his eyes, they were suddenly clear. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Yeah, he's fine," James said. Numbly, he nodded. "Mom said that they got him to the hospital in time. He's going to have a good recovery." He let out a snort. "His wife should be taking good care of him." He suddenly looked absentminded, looking over the table. "Where's my phone? I have to call Gustavo."

"Right here." Katie reached out and grabbed onto James's phone, pulling it from his pocket. "Here." She handed it over with a small, reassuring smile. James smiled back at her and placed the phone in his hands. He started to scroll through the contacts, looking lost. "What do you need to call Gustavo for?"

"For some time off," James murmured. "I need to go to Minnesota. Just to see him." His eyebrows furrowed. "I guess. I don't know. I don't _really _need to go, he hasn't' really talked to me. But I need to go…"

"Hey." Kendall mustered up as much enthusiasm as he could. "Don't worry about Gustavo. You go and start packing. You're going to be in Minnesota as soon as you can. We'll make sure of it." He nodded once. "We'll go with you." Carlos perked up, nodding like a bobble head.

James, on the other hand, didn't look as enthused at the others. In fact he looked skeptical. "You guys don't have to do that. I'll be ok."

"We're going anyway," Logan insisted. He placed a hand on James's shoulder. "We're not going to let you go through this alone." He inclined his head towards the bedrooms. "You go get packed and we'll talk to Mama Knight and Gustavo and we'll figure everything out. Don't worry."

James nodded again, leaving his phone on the table and disappeared into the back rooms. Kendall drummed his finger tips on the table, each hit making a 'pad'ing sound as it hit the paper of his notebook. He reached out and closed the notebook, his homework completely forgotten at that point. Nothing was more important than helping his friend. "Carlos, you go and help James," he instructed and Carlos immediately went to do what he was told. "Logan, you look to see what flights are going out to Minnesota. Look at the cheapest ones and the closest ones." Logan made a clicking sound with the side of his mouth and went over to his computer. "Katie, you help me convince Mom and Gustavo to go to Minnesota."

"You know Mom isn't going to have a problem with it," Katie reminded her brother.

"I know," Kendall agreed, pulling out his phone. "But just to make sure. We have to have Mom on our side to get Gustavo to agree to it." Kendall put his phone up to his ear and when he heard it ringing, he handed it over to Katie. "Here, talk to Mom. Give me your phone and I'll call Gustavo from it, he's less likely to ignore you."

Katie obediently handed him her purple phone-which he handed back for her to type her password into-and dialed Gustavo's number. Listening to the rings, Kendall had the forethought to rip the phone away from his ear the second Gustavo's voice blasted through the speaker.

"WHAT?! What do you want?"

"Gustavo, it's me, Kendall," Kendall held the phone up to his mouth. He wasn't on speaker phone, but with Gustavo's powerful voice, it may as well be that way.

There was a brief pause then, "What do you want, dog?!"

"I need t talk to you about James." Hearing Gustavo's grunt, he continued. "His father had a heart attack and we're planning on going to Minnesota so we can be sure that things are ok." He closed an eye, waiting for Gustavo to scream, rant, rand rave. But none of that came. He heard silence on the phone and had to check to be sure that he was still connected. This wasn't like Gustavo, Gustavo Rocque always had a snappy answer and made quick decisions whether the boys liked it or not. Giving him time to think was like getting a bomb a three second head start for the fuse to burn.

"Fine," Gustavo said. Kendall blinked in surprise. He must have made a sound as well, for Logan looked up from his laptop and waved a hand to get his attention. Kendall turned to him, watching as Logan lifted his shoulders asking 'what?' a proverbial question mark on his face. Kendall waved a hand before giving a thumbs up, everything was ok. Logan nodded and went back to searching through airlines. Glancing at his sister, Katie seemed to be having a good conversation as well. "You dogs can go to Minnesota. Hey, listen; let me know how James is. You know…if he needs anything…or whatever…let me know."

"Sure, Gustavo," Kendall said. He hung up the phone, staring at it. Had that really happened? Gustavo Rocque had quickly, and willingly, let them go to Minnesota? Didn't they have promotion to work on? Shows to do? Harmonies and vocals that needed to be worked and worked until it was perfect? Kendall had mentally geared himself to fight tooth and nail against Gustavo and it went as easily as a hockey puck shooting into a goal. Something else had to be going on for Gustavo to be that helpful.

_Don't dwell on it now, _Kendall scolded himself. _You have to think about your friend now, not about what could go wrong? _

Everything you do is going to turn out wrong.

Kendall shook his head and dialed another number into the phone. He chewed his fingernails as he waited for the other end to pick up. As soon as it did, he smiled a little, hearing the sound of laughter, shouting, and yelling, the three words that you could use to easily describe the noise in the Jackson household. While they were all proper, professional, and somewhat rebellious in pubic, they were a lot more outgoing and lively in the privacy of their own homes. Having had their childhood somewhat 'taken away from them' as they had to grow up fast, they let off a lot of steam while they were back home. It was like, Big Time Rush on speed, they could be that rambunctious.

"Hello?" Sydney greeted.

"Hey, Syd, it's me," Kendall said. He chuckled at the sound of a loud yelp-probably from Patrick-a triumphant laugh-from Noah-and winces of sympathy pain, accompanied by laughter-from Riley and Rhuben. He briefly wondered what it was that they could be doing that made it sound like they were having a blast, but with them, it could have been anything as big as getting the certification on a single or an album to something as small as trying to kill a fly.

"Oh, hi, Kendall!" Sydney's voice got even more cheerful. "Are you looking for Ri-Ri? I can go get her!"

As much as he wanted to, Kendall needed to talk to someone else first. "No! No. Actually, Little Man, I was hoping that I could talk to Ronan. It's really important." He swallowed thickly. "Is he there?" Sydney confirmed that he was and before Kendall could move the phone away from his ear again, Sydney shouted for Ronan at the top of his lungs, almost rendering Kendall deaf in his left ear. "Thanks, Syd."

"You're welcome," Sydney chirped.

A second later, Ronan was on the line. "If this has to do with James, I just got Gustavo's text," Ronan said as soon as he came on the line. Surprised, Kendall was about to ask how he knew so quickly, but the older man beat him to it. "Apparently Brooke got the news, then she called your Mom and she texted Gustavo and Kelly and then he texted me." He could hear Ronan let out a breath. "I gotta say, this is a really tough situation for him."

"I know," Kendall agreed. "And, as weird as it sounds, I feel like I'm the only one who gets it."

"No, it makes sense," Ronan reassured the blonde teen. "I mean, you and James are the only ones with divorced parents and you two are the only ones that don't have close relationships with your father because of that. Now, it probably wasn't any of my business, since it's your life and all, but you mother explained a bit to me about the situations and I can easily see your need to protect James as much as you can."

"Huh." Kendall wasn't sure what to say to that.

It was kind of a funny picture. James had always been the taller, stronger, more confident guy out of the two of them. Kendall wouldn't say that he was small, but compared to the other guys, he was kind of on the scrawny side, he wasn't that tall-only resting at six feet-and there were many, _many _times that he found himself staying up for hours, wondering why he said or did something the way he had that same day. However, it was second nature to him, to be the guy that everyone could turn to when they needed help, more so with James than anyone else. Ronan had hit the nail right on the head; the divorce was what _really_ pushed them together. James was never really into hockey as much as Kendall was, but he liked being able to hang out with his friends and it was a good work out. Their friendship had only gotten to the level where they could completely trust each other, when James revealed that his parents were getting a divorce and that Mr. Diamond had started to date a woman fifteen years younger than him. (And to Kendall's initial amusement and relief, James explained that she was fifteen years younger than his father).

The fights had escalated since the divorce was threatened which stared the consecutive nights that James would stay at Kendall's house. James, Logan, and Carlos were all Kendall's best friends and for different reasons, but when it came to really tough obstacles that they had go to through, James was the first person that Kendall would ever turn to and vice versa. The fact that Ronan, a man that Kendall had only just started to get to know over the past couple of years, understood it so easily made the respect that Kendall felt for him increase that much more. Of course, it also helped that Ronan was Gustavo's exact opposite with the way that he worked, with constructive criticism and lots of positive feedback.

"And _because_ you want to help James the best you can, especially with the sticky situation that his family is in, I believe I'm correct in assuming that you want to ask if my kids can come with you guys? To help support James?"

"You're a smart man," Kendall said, recovering from his shock. "Or I'm just that predictable." Kendall rolled his eyes slightly, practically hearing Riley confirm it for him. She had said it enough times.

"No, you're just that good a friend," Ronan reassured him. "Very loyal." Kendall heard a groaning sound that only a leather chair could make and realized that Ronan was in his office. _It's probably the only reason that I don't hear any background noise, their house is rarely quiet. _"In fact that's something that I, and my kids, really like about you. As soon as you become friends with someone, you'll go to the ends of the earth to be sure that they're taken care of."

A pink hue flushed over Kendall's cheeks. He rubbed the back of his neck, pressing the phone against his ear. "Thanks." He cleared his throat, tightening his grip on the phone. In the background, he could hear Carlos talking enthusiastically, trying to get James into a conversation as well. "So can you guys get some time away and go out there with us? James would really appreciate it."

Ronan made a snorting sound and then chuckled. "Taking a break from making a new record gives you more time than you think. There's no doubt that we'd be there, dude, no doubt at all. You didn't even have to ask."

Kendall smiled.

"What flight are you guys thinking of getting? I need to write it down so I don't forget and so I can see how much we need to pack."

"Oh." Kendall's lower jaw moved to the side. "Logan's looking at flights now and I don't know how long we'll be there. I can assume at the most, a week, because, you know, it's our home and we're seeing our families and everything."

"Of course."

"And we really don't know how bad Mr. Diamond is." Now it was Kendall's turn to snort. "In fact, I haven't even told Mom that we were thinking of going out there with them. She might have a cow over it, but I think she'll see that it'll really help him."

"Your mother is an understanding woman, I bet she anticipated it as much as I did," Ronan said gently. "In fact, she's probably already had a bag packed in case of an emergency like this. There's no doubt in anyone's mind that your Mom and the other moms are even closer than you boys are."

"They don't show it," Kendall murmured.

Where were they when his father walked out on their family? Where were they when she was working as much as she could at the diner to make ends meet for them all? He didn't see anything different with the way things worked before and after the divorce. He always ran around with the other guys and Katie tagged along, to the hockey rink, to the mall, or to Kendall's house. It was the same thing after Kevin Knight had gone, Kendall and the guys would hang out at the hockey rink, the mall, or at Kendall's house and Katie would tag along. The only thing that was somewhat different was who drove the guys to their away games, especially if his mom had to work.

You don't know what you're doing.

Ronan sucked in a breath. "Just let me know when you guys have a flight planned and everything and we'll meet you guys there, no question." Kendall heard a shuffling sound, a whisper, and a impatient sigh. Ronan came back on the line. "Why don't I just call your Mom and…Logan I guess, and we can figure everything out. But we _are_ going to be in Minnesota by at least tomorrow night."

"Great that's really great. I mean"-Kendall licked his lips-"We've been saying recently that we wanted to go back there soon. I just wish it wasn't under the circumstances."

"Yeah, well, life happens," Ronan said. "Anyway, Riles is burning a hole in the side of my head with her eyes, so I'll talk to you later."

"See ya."

Kendall waited as he was turned over to, yet another person to talk to. Not that he didn't _want_ to talk to them; he just wanted to see how James was doing. James was a lot like him when it came to what he was _really_ thinking and feeling, he wouldn't let anyone onto it, because he didn't want them to worry.

"Before you say anything, you need to stop bringing all of the responsibility of this on yourself."

Kendall blinked at Riley's voice; not because it was so sudden, and that she said it so quickly that he almost missed it, but because she had told him the same thing that he had been thinking. He could arrange all of this on his own, to get them all to Minnesota and what role each of them had to do it. That was him, Kendall Knight, now he was being told _not_ to do it?

"I've spent enough time with you to know what you're thinking at any given time," Riley said to Kendall's silence. Then her voice took on a more lighthearted, teasing tone. "Yes, your nightmare has come true, I'm everywhere." Kendall chuckled. "Ok, that was supposed to make you laugh."

"I'm not in a laughing mood," Kendall admitted. He ran a hand through his hair and pushed back in his seat so that it was resting on its back two legs. His eyes scanned the apartment and he raised an eyebrow when he noticed a bag already sitting by the door. He immediately recognized it as Logan's, who always had at least one suitcase packed in case they had to be rushed somewhere. It made Kendall roll his eyes, perturbed. He always had to be prepared for everything. _Though I doubt that he was prepared for this._

"All the more reason for it," Riley said simply. "Laughter is always the best medicine. If you can't laugh when you're in pain…then you have no drive to get better."

"Mm-hmm." Kendall nodded. That made sense. Whenever the subject of their abuse was brought up, she and her siblings would always make a joke about it and then change the subject to something more neutral and it would be forgotten in a second. "Anyway, you should take your own advice."

Kendall could hear her sharp intake of breath and part of him readied himself for a proverbial tongue lashing, but another part of him didn't care. "That's different," she said, though he could detect the edge to her voice.

"Not really."

"If I could punch you through the phone, I would."

"I don't doubt it," Kendall closed his eyes, resting his arm over his eyes. "Here I am, trying to be nice to you, and you just give me empty threats, which you do a lot."

"What?"

"Give empty threats."

"Of course, do you _really _think that I would actually hurt someone on purpose?" She sounded offended.

Kendall smiled a little. "Well…"

"You're _not_ funny." Riley huffed.

"I'm hysterical," Kendall returned.

"That's my line, get your own. Unless you want to use hockey euphemisms for the rest of your life." Now he could imagine her smirk.

"Not if you're going to make fun of me for them for the rest of my life."

"Even if you didn't use them, I'd find a way to make fun of you," Riley said. With her next statement, he could practically see her shrugging the Jackson famous one-armed shrug. "Anyway, with the empty threats and everything…that's the thing. I've learned that people judge me no matter what, so I do what I want. Image or no image."

"Uh-huh."

"Stop that!" She let out a sigh. "I just wanted to be sure that you're ok with everything that's going on with Handsome. I don't doubt that your mind is racing a mile a minute with ways to help him out." Kendall was silent. "Yes, I know you that well," she added, voicing his next thought. "Relax. We're all going to be there to help him out the best we can. It's not going to fall all on you."

"How'd you even know about it anyway?" Kendal slightly changed the subject, hoping to get the attention off of him. "Ronan only _just_ found out?"

"Please. There are no secrets in this house. As soon as someone knows something, the rest of the house knows, especially when it has to do with our friends."

"Oh." Kendall looked at his watch. "I got to get going. But I guess we'll see you guys soon."

"Alright, peace."

"See ya."

Kendall hung up Katie's phone and looked down at the display. The battery icon flashed, making him make a mental note to get her charger and to plug it in for her. Glancing around 2J, Kendall realized he had to have been on the phone for a while if they others were already getting their bags packed. They were going to Minnesota, even if they had to hitchhike there. Dropping the phone onto the table, Kendall went into James's and Carlos's room. Carlos was stuffing things in his bag, talking at a mile a minute and James was quietly listening to him, but smiling and laughing in all the appropriate places.

Kendall got James's attention and mouthed 'are you ok?'

James smiled and nodded.

Kendall nodded back. But deep inside, he didn't believe him for a second.

Every doubt you've ever had is justified and you need to realize that you need more help than you're willing to admit.

* * *

_Virgos are good at cheering people up and making people feel better._

* * *

**A/N: **Can you tell Kendall's slowly starting to go down? So you probably can't see I yet, but this chapter really started how the Jacksons are important to the story as well as James, Carlos, and Logan. And I'm thinking of dialing back from the dark-fic aspect to this story because I think it'd get a bit _too_ dark in a _lot_ of places, but I haven't decided yet. But there is going to be lighthearted stuff and bonding moments coming in so not everything is so angst ridden.

I have another trivia question for you guys, it might be a difficult as I didn't realize it until recently: what's the _one thing _that apartment 2J doesn't have that other apartments do?

I hope you guys liked the chapter, I'll update again soon.

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	7. Darkness and Light

**.:Chapter 07:.**

* * *

_Scorpio is attracted to anything secret, dark, and mysterious, including the hidden or dark side of people._

* * *

James let out a deep breath as he leaned forward, running his hands over his face and chin. Dropping his hands, he leaned back against his seat and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling. His knee started to bob up and down and he had to reach out a hand and force himself to keep it still. He had _never _been this nervous to go back to Minnesota and he wasn't sure what was doing it for him this time. Was it seeing his mother again? Maybe. Seeing his step-mother? Maybe. Seeing his father? Maybe. James wasn't even worried about his father; he had always been a strong man and could bounce back from anything. There were a lot of things that were making it that he didn't want to be around anyone. But, it was sweet that they all decided to take time away from their busy lives to go with him to make sure that his father was ok. He was just glad that it didn't get out in the media. Paul Diamond had a heart attack and James rushed off to see him? That was just asking for cameras to be all in his face. They already had to deal with fans that stopped them in the airport-not that he minded, he loved being able to interact with his fans-his head and his heart just weren't in it.

"Here you go."

James looked down to see Sydney standing in front of him, holding out a bag of candy. James took the candy bag and looked it over; smiling when he noticed that it was a large bag of mini snickers, his favorite candy. Sydney waited patiently in front of him, moving his hands to his sweat shirt pockets, his dimples appearing in his cheeks. Chuckling to himself, James dropped the Snickers bag onto the seat beside him and held out his hand, giving Sydney a high-five. "Thanks Little Man, that'll definitely put me in a good mood."

"We're hoping," Sydney said. He rocked back and forth on his heels, looking at his feet. "I mean, I know that my brothers and sisters and I don't tell you guys a lot,"-he lifted his head and looked James in the eye-"and we may hang out with some of you guys more than the others, but you all really _are_ our best friends and we don't' want you guys to hurt as much as we don't want each other to be hurt."

James smiled and nodded. He knew that, they didn't have to tell him, he didn't care if they did. They were better at _showing_ that they cared about them. Who else would take most of their time and go above and beyond their contract with Rocque Records to help their first and second albums succeed? Who else would spend hours upon hours helping them with their homework, their choreography, songwriting, music producing, harmonies, vocals, stylings, and just being an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, and friends to hang out with? They were even taking time away from the break that they should be taking to relax, to go to Minnesota with him and his friends just so he could see how his father was doing. Even on the plane, Riley and Rhuben had given him a blanket and a pillow and their shoulders to lean on when he wanted to go to sleep. Before they had left, Patrick and Noah made an froze his favorite food for him and his mother to have when they got to Minnesota, even Ronan let James know that he was there for him to talk to if he needed it. And all of that made him feel a million times better, though he was still anxious about what was going to happen now.

"I know," James said reassuringly. He reached out a hand and mussed Sydney's hair. "And thanks. You guys have really been there for me, for us, for a lot of stuff, and sometimes we've taken advantage of that. But you're our best friends too."

"So what are you thinking?" Sydney's question made James tilt his head in confusion. "About your dad and everything." The young boy moved over and sat in the empty seat next to James. He looked out across the airport terminal and laughed when he saw that Carlos was trying to be helpful by jumping onto the baggage claim and was trying to knock everyone's bags to the ground. "I can see it in your face, you don't know whether or not to be worried about him. Especially since he hasn't been the best father."

"Actually, he's been a great father," James contradicted, startling Sydney. His eyebrows rose into his dark fringe. "He's always been there for me and he's always been the inspiration in the things I do. He just…" he trailed off for a moment before scratching the back of his neck. "It's weird and hard to explain. He finally stops being a pussy,"-he glanced at Sydney, wondering if he would be put off with his cursing as he was for his brothers and sisters-"and actually stands up to my mom for once. But then…when he was able to do that, he became a jerk and not like the man that I was used to. Mom didn't like it and they started to fight a lot."

"Ohh, I get it." Sydney nodded. "Being able to do what he finally wanted, your dad I mean, he started to act like his true self."

"What d'you mean?"

Sydney crossed his legs so he was sitting Indian style. He started to play with his shoelaces. "I mean. Your dad had to have been a very charismatic guy before he met your mum. And your mum is used to getting her way all the time. So, it makes sense that your dad may have lost sight of himself when he started to go out with your mum. Any guy could probably turn into a puddle of quivery jelly if he was around her." He held up a hand. "No offense."

James laughed lightly. He understood what Sydney meant. Even he was a bit scared of his mother. Mrs. Knight, Mrs. Mitchell, and Mrs. Garcia had all been afraid of her as well. Whenever the mothers were supposed to get together around the time that hockey games were coming up, they would become worried that Mrs. Diamond would try to control the whole thing. More often than not, she did, but she was still his mother and he loved her.

"None taken," James reassured him. "I get what you mean."

"So what are you going to do?" Sydney uncrossed his legs and started to kick them back and forth. He tilted his head back to look up at his older friend.

James thought about it for a long moment, but couldn't come up with anything. He really didn't know what he was going to do. On one hand, he was worried about is dad's health and well being. On the other hand, he didn't want to have anything to do with him, in fear that he would become what his father had become.

"I don't know," James said finally.

"Ok!"

"Here's your bag." James stood up and took the strap to his gym bag from Katie's outstretched hand. He pulled it over his shoulder and fell into step beside Kendall as the group started to walk to the parking lot, to get into the vans that they had rented for the time that they would be in Minnesota. "Hey, is it alright if I-"

"You don't even have to ask," Kendall interrupted. He lifted his head and gave James a half smile. "You know that you can stay with us as long as you need to."

"Thanks." James nodded back. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "I mean, I bet things would be weird at either of my parents' places." He rolled his eyes. "Especially with Shelly around at dad's house." It wasn't funny, but Kendall had the urge to burst out laughing. Shelly, being fifteen years younger than Paul and James's new step-mother, tried really hard to be a cool mom to James and his friends. It was embarrassing at how hard she tried; her heart was in the right place, she just didn't execute it well.

James tried to stay as far away from his father and his house whenever he was in Minnesota, now it was going to be even harder to maintain a ruse that everything was ok.

"One thing you have to remember, James, you don't have to thank me," Kendall said. "I'd do it anyway."

"I know."

* * *

"So is James planning on going to see his Dad?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

Katie's features plummeted into a look of annoyance. "So what'd we come all the way out here for?" She turned away from her open suitcase to face her brother, who sat on the top of her dresser, watching her. "If he's not going to see his Dad, I could have stayed back in LA and gotten some stuff done."

Kendall smiled for the first time all day. "What work? Playing poker on your computer?"

"Just because you're not good doesn't mean that the rest of us can't be," Katie said. She stuck her nose in the air as she turned back to her suitcase. Kendall watched as she rummaged around and pulled out a few of her sweatshirts. Walking over to her dresser, she pushed Kendall's legs to the side and opened the drawer, placing them inside.

"Hey, Baby Sister, do you ever wonder what it is that made it that James's family and ours and the Jacksons ended up so badly?" Kendall watched as she turned to him, confused. Despite what she thought, it didn't come out of nowhere. He had thought about it for a long time, soon after he had met the Jacksons. What was it that made it that some people's lives were so great, while others were so bad? What made it that some families were able to stay together while others fell apart? Kendall was quick to explain. "I mean, our lives aren't necessarily _bad_. I just mean, honestly, it could be better."

"How?" Katie raised an eyebrow. "That Dad would be around? That you wouldn't have all of the fame that you do now? Or do you want that?" She placed a hand on her hip. "You're going to have to be a bit more specific, Big Brother, because you're not making sense to me."

_I didn't think I would. _Kendall sucked his lips into his mouth. "I'm just worried about James and his dad and everything," he said after a second. _Things aren't going to great for them, but it never really knocked James down. How come everyone else is so different? Why did everyone else's pain and problems hurt them so much more?_

"You're always worried about someone, Kendall," Katie said. She closed the dresser drawer and rested her arms on top, turning her head and looking up at her brother. He looked down at her. "Some more than others. That's been proven since you basically obsessed over getting the Jacksons help and becoming your friend." She brushed her hair behind her ears. "There's nothing wrong with it, but, sometimes, I think that you may take it a bit too far."

Now Kendall raised an eyebrow. "I don't think-"

"So far that you don't every let other people worry about you," Katie interrupted Kendall. She gave him a knowing look. "When were you planning on telling mom about your failing test grades?" Kendall had the grace to look away in embarrassment. "Big Brother, I know that you hate having to rely on other people, but sometimes, you can ask for help."

"Huh. Why does that sound so familiar?" Kendall rolled his eyes, jumping down from the dresser. Leaning over his sister, he gave her a kiss on the side of the head. "Don't worry about me, Baby Sister." He turned away from his sister, but not before seeing the teasing look that slid onto her face.

"You going to call Riles?" She called after him.

"Shut up," Kendall called back. Walking into his room, Kendall grabbed his phone off of his desk with his left hand and a hockey stick with his right. He sat down on his bed and started to spin his hockey stick in his hand. Looking at the screen of his phone, he navigated to Riley's cell phone number and pushed the SEND button, sliding his left foot into his shoe. "C'mon, c'mon," he muttered under his breath, bouncing his leg up and down.

"What d'you want this time, Hockey-Head?"

Kendall briefly glanced at the ceiling before focusing on his feet. "I'm guessing that even though you wanted to help support James, you're still not very happy with the fact that Minnesota can get cold pretty easily."

Kendall could hear her laugh a little. "It's pathetic really," she said. "In our hotel room, we can't figure out the AC unit, so we're sitting in all of our sweatshirts, sweatpants, and blankets, while we're trying to get maintenance up here to fix it. This state hates us as much as we hate it, I swear."

"Anyway, do you guys want to come over for dinner at my place?" Kendall glanced down at his hockey stick, continuing to spin it in his hand. Back and forth. Back and forth. Over and over. He started to spin it faster and faster. "Kind of like tradition or whatever before James goes to see his dad tomorrow." He stopped spinning the hockey stick and held it straight out. "And, I want to show you something."

"Oh yeah?" She sounded interested. "What's that?"

"It's a surprise," Kendall said. He studied the hockey stick for a long moment before tossing it aside. "You like surprises, right?"

"Luckily for you, mate," Riley replied. He could hear a shuffling sound and then rapid clacking as if she was typing on a computer. "I can meet you now if you want," she finally said. "We're just waiting for maintenance and I'm bored anyway."

_You had to get that last one in, didn't you? _Kendall scratched his forehead before grabbing onto the beanie that rested on his pillow. "Um, I can meet you at the bus stop by the grocery store. You can't miss it. If you-"

"I know where it is," Riley interrupted.

Kendall was about to ask how but then remembered. She and her siblings had been in Minnesota before, when they had stopped on tour. Then they had been there again, when Big Time Rush had brought the Jacksons to Minnesota with them for Christmas. He gave a half smile, thinking back on it. He had been so worried about the Jacksons having a good holiday that he almost made himself sick over it. He constantly asked if they were having a good time and made sure that the gifts he got each of them were just right. He was probably more stressed about it, than his mother, who was the one that spend the two days before and the day of Christmas to get everything cooked for their Christmas lunch and dinner. He didn't know stressed until he had seen his mom try to make a turkey feed his friends and all of their families.

"I can meet you there," she said before hanging up the phone.

Kendall hung up his phone and shoved it into his pocket. Leaning over, he slid his feet into his shoes, making sure that the laces were tight. Picking up his beanie, he slid it over his hair before grabbing onto a light jacket and pulling it on over his long sleeved shirt. Kendall walked out of his room and headed downstairs to the living room, where his mother was curled up on the couch, reading a book. She looked up as Kendall entered the room.

"Going out?" She dog-eared the page that she was on, closing the book. "How's James?"

"He's asleep," Kendall said. He walked over to the couch and sat down on the arm. "You know him; he's the one that always says that beauty sleep is the best thing that you can get whether or not you're on tour. He's always the first one to go to sleep when we get somewhere." He rolled his eyes, causing his mother to smile. "Oh, by the way, the Jacksons are coming over for dinner, so I'm guessing that Carlos and Logan are gonna come over too."

Now it was Mrs. Knight's turn to roll her eyes. "Kendall," she started slowly. "You can't expect me to be able to have enough food to feed everyone by the time they get here." She threw her hands into the air. "We haven't lived here in a year and I only got enough for food for four when I got here." She looked at him critically. "You're going to have to go to the store on your way back from wherever you're going."

Kendall's upper lip curled. "Fine." He pointed at his mother. "But if I get caught, it's your fault." He got up from the couch and waved at his mother before leaving the house. Gently closing the door behind him, he walked down the front steps of his house and started walking towards the bus stop. He tilted his head back and looked up at the sky as he went.

It was strange to him, knowing that it wasn't long ago that he was in Minnesota, dreaming of only playing hockey. It was so strange how quickly things changed for him. Not only for hockey, but for life in general. His life changed forever when his father left, then his life changed again, but this time for the better, when he and his best friends had gotten the job to start Big Time Rush. Everything around you could change and your situation could be flipped upside down, but everything around you was the same. The sky was the same, the stars were the same, the earth, air, and wind were the same. Everything around him stood still as he and others continued to change.

_It's like we were in a bubble in LA, _Kendall lowered his gaze from the sky, a deep frown set in his face. _The only things we worried about was what the press was saying about us and what our fans thought of our music. I didn't really think of about anything else. Now we're back here again…_Kendall started walking faster when he saw a small figure waiting at the bus stop. He started to walk faster. _Ok, that's not entirely true._

"Hey, you got here faster than I thought," Kendall said, causing Riley to turn to him. She had her hands shoved deep into the pocket of her sweatshirt. He laughed as he slowed to a stop by her. "Seriously, it's not that cold out here."

"Belt up." Riley punched him on the arm, though she didn't seem annoyed. "It was either freeze in there or freeze out here." She tilted her head to the side. "Lucky for you, mate, you bring some sort of entertainment to me." She smirked at him. "So what was it that you wanted to show me?" Her eyebrows rose.

"C'mon." Kendall stepped around her and started down the sidewalk. Riley started after him, quickly matching his stride. "So I was thinking about this recently, what makes it that so many people have to go through so many bad things while others go through life relatively unscathed."

"You're worried about James, then?" She didn't sound surprised. "Don't worry, Hockey-Head, he's going to be fine."

_That's not the only thing I'm worrying about…_Kendall briefly closed his eyes. He reached out a hand and ran it over his neck, his gaze lowering as his fingertips brushed over the raised bumps. Sighing, he dropped his arm back to his side. He looked down when his hand brushes against hers and then glanced at her face. She still looked straight ahead, not seeming to notice. "I know he'll be fine, I just…it's hard to explain if you haven't grown up with him and his situation."

"That didn't seem to stop you from helping us," Riley reminded him.

Kendall winced.

There was still so much that he hadn't told the Jacksons and he wasn't sure if he ever could. It was so funny how worried they were to lost them as friends from some things they would keep from the guys, such as their abuse, some of the trouble they got into when they were in Australia, and other things he probably couldn't imagine. Unbeknownst to them, it was a two way street. There were some things that he was afraid to tell them because he was afraid to lose them as friends. He didn't want to say that he was especially afraid to lose Riley as a friend, but it was the truth. The two of them got along the best out of her and her siblings-though Sydney was a close second-as they had a lot in common, similar interests, and the ability to understand each other, even if they didn't say anything.

"Yeah, but that was just me being a nutjob, right?" Kendall watched her out of his peripheral, noticing that she was looking at him funny.

"There's that," she admitted. "But, of course, it wasn't the only thing you were being." She trailed off mysteriously and he knew not to press her to continue further. There were times where she would be mysterious and have him work out what she meant to help himself and there were times where she would come right out and say what it was that he needed to hear.

Kendall and Riley continued walking until they reached a long building that resembled any high school that you could find. Confused, Riley glanced at Kendall before following him up the stairs and slipped in through the front door. Their footsteps echoed along the corridor of the otherwise empty building. Riley's heart started to race. Nothing was scarier than being the only two people around, but have the presence of a third with you. Silence. You never knew if something was going to jump out at you and take advantage of the silence and the darkness.

The darkness scared her a lot more than she would ever let on or that anyone else would know. Only her siblings understood that, it was something that got engrained in your brain and tried its hardest to bring you down. She could feel her chest starting to tighten as she continued to follow Kendall. Reaching up her hand, she started to rub her arm, stepping lightly on her feet, getting ready to turn and hightail it out of there whenever she needed to. Riley stopped walking and dropped her hands to her sides. She lowered her head, clenching her hands into fists.

To put it simply, she felt like an idiot. There was nothing there that was going to jump out and attack her. There was nothing there that was going to scare her. By that point she figured that she'd get over the terror that Robert had put over her and her siblings and she wasn't and it frustrated her to no end. She barely got any sleep because she stayed awake to make sure nothing would happen, she constantly checked her surroundings, had a habit of analyzing people before she got to know them, and pushed people away because she was scared that she would get hurt.

Kendall, Logan, Carlos, James, and Katie were the first people that could break through that in a long time and she would forever be grateful to them for that. It was hard, and even with therapy she didn't think she'd get through it anytime soon, but she was getting better at it.

"Are you ok?"

Riley's head snapped up and she saw Kendall down the hallway in front of a glass case, looking back at her. Even though there were shadows covering his face, she could tell from the tone of his voice that he was looking at her in concern. Feeling mouth move into a mixture of a pout and scowl, Riley trudged over to him.

"I'm fine," she said with an edge to her tone. Reaching his side, she looked up at him, daring him to say something, but he turned away. _Good_. He was starting to learn when to leave her alone and when to press on about something. "So what are we looking at?"

Kendall pointed into the glass and she looked inside. Her pout faded when she took in the contents of the glass case. There were numerous trophies, medals, and pictures inside. Looking closer at one of the pictures, Riley could see the roster of the hockey team. _Of course. _Eyes narrowing, she scanned the picture until she spotted the faces of her four best friends. Riley stood up straight and turned to Kendall to see that he had been watching her the whole time. "What'd you show me this for?"

Normally she could practically read his mind-which freaked him out-as she deemed that he was really predictable. But this time, she couldn't tell what was going on in his head, usually just by looking at his eyes. But this time, what she was was…troubling. Instead of the vibrant, excitement that she usually saw, which could be mixed with whatever emotion he was feeling at the time, she saw that his eyes were muddled with confusion, anxiety, and something she couldn't quite place.

"I used to have a blast playing hockey," he said, his voice low, subdued. "I would play all day, every day, with little to no breaks at all. I couldn't get enough." He raised a hand and placed it on the glass. "And as you can see I was pretty good." He gave a proud smile, but it faded quickly. "But since we got out to LA, I haven't had the same drive for it. And I don't really get it." Kendall turned and rested his back against the glass, crossing his arms over his chest. "I thought that I would still want to play hockey and everything while I was still working on the band and everything. Like, you guys still do all of your interests and stuff even though you've been working on your band for years."

"Uh-huh." Riley nodded for him to continue, turning back to the case.

Kendall's eyes narrowed a little. He let out a huff through his nose. "I've been thinking about James and LA and the band and everything that's been going on with me lately. Seeing how everything isn't what I think it is. How LA can be a dark place, but it can also be a good place for everyone. Its just started to make me wonder recently, what is it that makes it that bad things happen to good people. Like, James's parents' divorce, my parents' divorce, your guys' abuse and all that." He shook his head. "I don't know. I can't really make sense of anything lately."

"Please tell me you haven't been losing any sleep over that, Hockey-Head."

"I haven't been losing sleep over it, but I've been thinking about it a lot."

"Don't." Riley shook her head. "You need to focus on your music. The last thing that you need is to worry about why things happen the way they happen and what can you do to prevent such things in the future. It's better than you learn now that you can't. Pain is meant to be felt, if it didn't hurt, it wouldn't be pain."

"I get that." Kendall brushed his hair out of his face. "I guess I just never realized how…sheltered I've been throughout everything. It's like a big slap in the face, y'know."

"Yeah, I getcha," Riley said softly. She raised her hands and rested them on the glass, curling her fingers. "I had the same thought when we first started in the music industry. I thought, you get to make music and have fun and run around a stage for the rest of your life. I didn't realize how much work it cost, how little time you had for your friends and family, and then how everything was decided for you." She tilted her head back to look at him before looking at the glass again. "Of course this was because Robert had a big hand in all of that, but still." She took a deep breath. "Bu then it didn't take too long to realize…" she lowered her voice. "If you close your eyes, you see darkness. But if you keep them closed long enough and concentrate hard, you'll see the light."

Kendall's eyebrows furrowed together. "What does that mean?"

And even when Riley turned to him, and he expected an answer, he knew exactly what she was going to say. Her eyes shifted over to his as she said, "what do you think?"

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait for an update. I had a lot of stuff to do at school, mostly helping to set up for orientation. That's why this chapter is shorter than most of my other ones. Yeah, the answer to the trivia was a phone.I changed the plot to this story. Most of it is still the same, but other things that I had planned is different. I hope you guys liked the chapter, I'll update again soon.

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	8. Husbands and Fathers

**.:Chapter 08:.**

* * *

_Virgos hate getting flashbacks from things they don't want to remember._

* * *

Kacy Knight didn't think that Kendall, Katie, or any of the boys realized how hard it was for her to be in Minnesota.

Not only was her whole life in Minnesota and she had to make the executive decision whether or not to leave it, but she had to come back to the same place where, essentially, it all fell apart. She and Kevin had moved there shortly after they had married, and their marriage was a whirlwind. He had been the kind of guy that wanted to do this and that, go here and there, buy this and that. He was intense and did everything impulsively. At the time she considered it to be endearing and sexy, brought up by his life in Kansas where he had to find something to do to have fun. Compare that with her free-spirited upbringing in Roanoke, Virginia, where she was taken to museums, galleries, and which she enjoyed as much as being a kid, they were complete opposites. They met in college; she was working as a waitress part-time, while juggling her classes and he was on the hockey and lacrosse teams so she saw him around at nearly every sporting event. His name was announced numerous times over the semesters for whichever award he could get at the time.

She didn't pay him any attention, but she knew who he was.

When they met in the diner, he was nice and charming and…Kevin. There was no other way to describe him, just as there was no other way to describe Carlos, Kendall, James, or Logan. They were who they were and it was all justified in the simple act of saying their names. Kevin gained possession of her heart and never let go. Their dates were just as fun, she adapted to his outgoing personality and the activities to match; going to the amusement park, going boating on the lake, bike rides, and rock climbing and he mellowed out to her ideas: bowling, wine tasting, lunches, art exhibits, live jazz music, and aquariums. They compromised on most things, had few fights, and knew that they'd be together for the long run. His dream of advancing to the NHL started to become more than a dream, just a few rounds of drafts away.

Then she became pregnant. Mrs. Knight didn't think that her pregnancy with Kendall stopped Kevin from getting to the pros; he separated his personal and work life well. He was as excited as she was to know that they were having a boy, had his name picked out, had baby books read, even started to put together the crib and rocking chair he had procrastinated on. He was playing hockey better than ever. However, something changed a couple years after Kendall was born. He adored his son, loved his wife, but something was different. He grew a short fuse to a bad temper and showed it one too many times for her liking. Still, he was the sweetheart she grew to know and love, especially around Kendall and the even more exciting news that they were going to have a baby girl. That was funny, the all American family, a husband, a wife, a son, and a daughter. Things were perfect.

They were at the time, then a lot of things happened and it all went to hell. She couldn't determine what was it that made everything fall apart. The increase of fights? Maybe. The responsibility of taking care of two kids? Probably, what parents weren't stressed about that. His dreams of being drafted into the NHL dashed? Most likely. It was in and out of his grasp so fast it was like a penalty shot on goal. The stick connected with the puck and you only had seconds, the span of a couple of blinks, you could be the hero and win the game or the one that loses it all. Unfortunately, Kevin lost it all and it didn't just affect him, it affected their lives as well. Here she was, Mrs. Knight, suddenly raising two kids on a salary from the diner as well as child support.

All of that flooded back whenever she was in Minnesota, but she didn't want to dampen the trip with any of her problems. Not when the guys were usually so happy to be back there. The fact that James was there to see his father in the hospital was the furthest thing was her mind, to be honest. She had never been close to him, always thought that he acted too much like a kid (her suspicions confirmed later), and didn't know how to be a father, no matter how much he loved James. She wanted to be sure that the hospital trip aside, the guys had a good time in Minnesota.

"What's for breakfast?" Mrs. Knight jumped at the sound of James's voice. Tilting her head down, she coughed, a plume of smoke erupting in her face. James's chuckle sounded behind her; he leaned over his shoulder to gaze at the remnants of the pancakes and took a step back, waving a hand in his face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Though I think the pancakes may have gotten the brunt of being petrified."

"Good one." Mrs. Knight rolled her eyes. Using a spatula, she scraped the burnt pancakes off of the pan and walked them over to the trash can, chuckling tem inside. "And people say you're not smart."

"I'm smart, just not bright." James took the comment in stride. He walked over to the kitchen table and turned the chair around before sitting down.

"What's the difference?" Mrs. Knight walked back to the stove and started another batch of brownies. Sensing the bite to her words, she looked at James over her shoulder. "I'm sorry, James, that came out harsher than I intend-"

"It's ok, Mama Knight." James raised a hand and smiled warmly. "I knew you were kidding." His face fell and he stared to pick at the placemat that was in front of him. It was something that Mrs. Knight had picked up from a crafting fair, it was weaved from bamboo leaves. She got it when she and Kevin were still together. It was funny how those placemats lasted longer than her marriage did.

"Sweetie, do you want to talk about it?" Mrs. Knight turned off the burner under her pan and crossed the room to sit at the table with him. "I know that things like this can be really difficult to figure out. Especially since you and Paul haven't had a close relationship."

"Why does everyone think that?" James rolled his eyes. "Yes, my dad married someone who was younger than him and over the past couple of years we haven't talked much. But when I was a kid, growing up, we hung out all the time. He helped me loose all of that baby weight that I carried and he was the one that helped me realize that I wanted to do what I'm doing now."

"I'm sorry, weren't you the one that told me that you _didn't_ want to end up like your father?" Mrs. Knight rested her chin in her hands. "You're confusing me here, honey; you have to explain a bit more."

James raised an eyebrow. "I don't want to end up like the father that's a jerk to the woman that he loved all because he managed to stand up for himself. I want to remember the man that was there for me through thick and thin." He shrugged. "And that's all that matters to me."

Mrs. Knight smiled. James was right; he was very smart. He didn't get enough credit most of the time. He wasn't book smart, but he was tuned into other people's emotions and how to help someone else. Yes, he could be selfish, yes he could care about his looks more than anything else, and he did have that small flaw of yelling things when he could just as easily say them (though it helped get his point across). His actions, the way he blindly followed people, easily get suckered into a strange scheme, attested to that. He was still very sweet and just wanted to help people.

"If that's the case, then why are you avoiding going to the hospital?" Mrs. Knight studied James's reaction. He did his best to keep his face blank, but is eyes gave him away. "We've been here for a couple of days now…you've been staying here for that long, why don't you want to see him? Why don't you want to see your Mom? That's why we all came out here."

"I can guarantee that the Jacksons didn't come out here to go to the hospital with me," James said. "Considering they go bat shit crazy at the thought of having to go to any hospital or see a doctor." He thought for a moment. "Which is kind of ironic, considering Riles wasn't to _be _one, but…"

"You didn't answer my question," Mrs. Knight pressed. She sat up straight, heaving the sound of Kendall and Katie coming down the stairs, as loud as possible. Even from where the two of them were sitting, she could hear that they were arguing over something mundane. Mrs. Knight turned back to James and looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I'm not done with you yet." She pointed at him. "And watch your language."

"Somehow I didn't think that you were," James admitted.

He leaned back in his seat, watching as Kendall and Katie came barreling around the corner and into the kitchen, pushing each other the whole way. "I WIN!" They shouted in unison, once reaching the island. Katie pushed by Kendall and went over to her mother, ducking under her arm to look at what was cooking. "Yes! Pancakes, I win anyway."

"Thanks a lot, Mom," Kendall mock-grumbled, sitting down next to James. "I was rooting for waffles."

"It comes from the same batter, it makes no difference, the only thing that's difference is the shape," Mrs. Knight dismissed. "So what were you all planning on doing today?" She kept her back to her kids, focusing on making breakfast. She paused for a moment. "I guess that was a bit of a dumb question. We don't have much time left here and we only came for one reason."

"Don't think I don't get what you're trying to say!' James called.

"Good, so no you'll understand hat we don't' want you here anymore and you can finally leave!" Katie said. Even with her back turned, Mrs. Knight could see the smug smile on her daughter's face.

_But she never really wanted him to leave at all. She likes him here as much as Kendall enjoys it. _Mrs. Knight smiled to herself. _He always did want another brother, though he loves Katie so much. He ended up getting three. The other guys are the same way; they'll really do everything for each other._

"James's dad is being discharged from the hospital today and this time I'm making sure that he really goes," Kendall said firmly. With the sound of Kendall's voice changing directions, Mrs. Knight knew he was staring pointedly at James. The last few days they had been in Minnesota were nothing but Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and the Jacksons trying to find ways to get James to go to the hospital. James would agree at first, and then find some way to get out of it. He faked sick, faked aches and pains, plain old refused to go, and barricaded himself in the guest room. Not even the Jacksons's clever ploys to get him out of the room worked.

Mrs. Knight felt especially bad for them; as usual, they were their selfless selves and decided to support him to go see his dad and at this point, it was like they were there for no reason other than to be laughed at by complaining about how cold it was. Even she couldn't help but laugh hysterically, watching them carry blankets room from room just to stay warm.

"I said I was going to go this time, you don't have to keep bugging me about it." James's tone held a harsh edge to it, tired of all of the goading. Mrs. Knight heard him sigh and the sound of chair legs scraping against the floor. "Hey, dude, do you think you could-"

"No problem."

With a smile, Mrs. Knight loaded up the plates with fluffy pancakes and walked them to the table, passing them out. She ignored the inevitable fight over who got to use the syrup bottle first, knowing that the other was going to complain over the volume of the sticky-sweet topper, and flicked open her newspaper, though her mind was somewhere else.

It was the first time in a long time that she had set the table for four without feeling weird about it. And it was all thanks to James.

* * *

"Are you sure that you guys don't want to go to the hospital? I _really_ think that even if you wait outside, it will really help James, rather than wait for him to get back." Standing behind the couch, Ronan crossed his arms over his chest and regarded each of his kids carefully. "It would be a hell of a lot better than rotting in a hotel all week."

"Who's rotting?" Patrick pulled his blanket tighter around himself. All of his body expect his face was covered, he was wrapped tighter than a burrito; even if he tried to get off of the couch he would have just rolled to the floor and gotten stuck. "We're freezing." His siblings nodded in agreement.

"And you have to get over that too," Ronan added with a light laugh. "I mean, I've lived in LA all my life-"

"Actually, you lived in Boston when you went to Berkley," Sydney piped up. He was sandwiched on the couch between his sisters. "So you're used to the cold."

"Besides, did _you_ go to see him?" Rhuben demanded. Slouching down, she crossed her legs at the knee, making sure that every part of her body was covered by some sort of blanket or sweats. Her dark eyes locked on Ronan and they flashed.

Ronan gave her the same look. "Yes, I have, actually." Resting his hands on the back of a armchair, he leaned towards his kids. "Kacy and I went a couple of days after you got here."

"Sounds like a fun date," Riley deadpanned. "Hey, maybe if one of us breaks a leg, you two could get married in the hospital chapel!" She gave an over the top thumbs up, causing her siblings to laugh. Ronan smiled and picked up a pillow, throwing it at her. "Thanks but no thanks, we're good here, away from hospital and…all of _that_."

Ronan wasn't going to push them on the topic, they all knew that. They had to take things one step at a time and being forced to go somewhere that they had constantly ended up before was something that they _didn't_ want to do. It brought back too many painful memories, although there were some good ones as well. The many hospital staffs that took care of them (as they changed hospitals numerous times so no one would catch on to Robert's doing) was what inspired Riley to become a doctor in the first place, a pediatrician to be specific. Apart from having a way with kids and instinctively taking care of people, she thought that it would be a good way to give back, to help people the way that she and her family was helped. Unfortunately, it seemed like that dream was far away as she couldn't go anywhere near a hospital without freaking out about it.

_"So could you please explain to me again how you got this bruise?"_

_"Is something going on at home?"_

_"If there's anything that you'd like to talk about, you can tell me."_

It all got on her nerves, the constant questions in her face all the time while she was being looked over. Sure, it was their job, and yeah, it was sweet that they cared so much. They were probably one of the _only _people that cared enough to see through their lives. But fear always trumped whatever help they were getting. The prospect of Robert being a few feet away, outside of the room as they told their biggest secret kept them quiet for the longest time. It happened once and it was enough. Robert had beaten them so badly they were out of school for days. They had gotten back the day before the school got worried about their absence (apparently he had called in; saying they all had the stomach flu). He took care of that pretty well.

"I'm not going to push you guys to go, I just think that it would be better if you supported him at his side, rather than from a hotel room," Ronan said. He left it at that, going to make breakfast for everyone.

While waiting, Riley found herself in the room that she was sharing with Rhuben, sitting at the top of the giant queen sized bed. Resting on her crossed legs was her sketchbook. Her cheek bunched up against her left fist, she absentmindedly scribbled on the page with her right hand. Nothing was coming out of it, a few shapes her e and there, a sketch of the chair that sat at the desk next to her. A rough sketch that was the start of the window and the outside view, but she couldn't get it out right. There was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind and it was starting to drive her crazy.

Riley reached over and grabbed her phone as it started to ring. She didn't have to look at the ID to know who it was. "What's up?" Balancing the phone against her ear and shoulder, she started to shade a chair leg.

"I didn't wake you up, did I?" Kendall's voice said. "You sound tired."

"I've been working on music and touring for the past…I don't know how many years, I don't think I'm ever not going to be tired." Using her left hand, she pushed her red strand of hair out of her eyes. "I hope that's not the reason that you called."

"It's not," Kendall replied. "James said that he was going to the hospital today and we were wondering if you guys were going to go too."

Riley didn't reply. She continued to shade the chair leg before moving on to the back of the chair, each swipe of the pencil over the paper going deeper and deeper each time. She was pushing so hard that little chips of graphite were starting to come off onto the paper. Each passé of her hand over the sketch book smeared the graphite into her drawing. She paid no notice to it.

"I know it's hard for you guys-" Kendall continued. Riley cut him off.

"Clearly you don't or you wouldn't ask."

"I'm just thinking about James here."

"I know," Riley softened her voice. "Believe me, we'd be there if we could. But…we just can't."

"Can you at least try? I know-"

"I'm not fucking _going_, Kendall, ok? God!" Riley pulled her phone away from her ear and shoved her thumb into the END button before tossing it to the end of the bed. Sighing, she leaned forward, resting her face in her hands. She moved her hands back to the sides of her face and over her ears before dropping her hands to her lap.

Stifling a yawn, Riley looked up towards the doorway, noticing movement there. She barely blinked as Reed Jackson entered the room and stood over her.

"Hey Dad, what's up?" She flashed him a smile before her attention back to her drawing.

"Just seeing how you're doing," he replied with a warm smile. He reached out and ran a hand through his eldest daughter's hair. "You seem happy."

"Happy's not the word, Dad," Riley contradicted him. She tapped her pencil on the sketchpad for a few moments. "Content is better. I don't think I've actually been completely happy in a long time."

"You know you kids shouldn't base your happiness on us." Reed sat down next to her enveloping her with the smell that she had remembered from years ago; fruits, citrusy fruits, only smoke mingled with them. She instinctively moved closer to the scent. It was comforting. "We're proud of everything that you've all accomplished?"

"Really?" Riley looked skeptical.

"Really, boofhead," Reed reached out and tweaked her nose. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief before calming. "Cherry, you know that your mother and I are always watching you guys. And we're always going to help you when you can…it was hard to watch what you all went through, but you and Grape did a great job. You need to give yourselves more credit. Tell her that, and tell the boys that we love and miss them."

"Ok." Riley nodded. She looked down at her sketch book. Her eyelids grew heavy and before she knew it, she face planted into the sketchbook. The sudden downswing caused her to shoot her head back up, eyes wide. Wearily, she ran a hand over her face and looked at Noah, who entered the room; his face slightly turned away, an eyebrow raised. "I did it again, huh?"

"Yeah, but a good shot of Red Bull will do you some good," he replied, climbing up onto the bed next to her. "Or some orange juice since we seem to be out of Red Bull." He gave a wry smile. "Apparently Ronan doesn't like it when we're completely hyper."

"I think that blew out the window the one time that Sydney ate most of his Halloween candy in one sitting, got so hyper that he couldn't stop laughing, and then had a stomach ache for the next three days." Riley held up her index finger. "God knows we shouldn't have pushed him into it, but it was funny at the time."

"No worries, he's not mad at us for it, he thought it was fun at the time." Noah encircled his legs with his elongated arms. He flicked his hair out of his face and brought his snake bite piercings into his mouth for a moment. "Do you think Ronan's right?"

"He's right about a lot of things," Riley said slowly. "To what are you referring to?" Noah gave her an aggravated glance. "I'm kidding, No." She shrugged. "I think it's kind of weird that we told James we would go to support him, but we're not actually doing anything to help." She started to rub her arm. "But we're all bad with hospital, Patrick's worse with his fear of needles."

"I know." Noah nodded. "But what else can we do? Just telling him that we're there for him doesn't seem that it'd help much, and throwing a party for an occasion like this probably wouldn't help either." Now he shook his head. "We don't even know our way around here enough to think of places to go and try and cheer him up and I'd rather it be something we thought of instead of having to go to Kendall, Logan, or Carlos to do so."

"I getcha," Riley agreed.

On one hand, they felt that they were being bad friends, no matter how many times they supported the guys and helped them with whatever they needed. There was always going to be a time where they were stumped at how to help, this being of those times. It was essentially frustrating as they were usually able to come up with something on the spot. There was one thing that they could do, but it was going to take a lot of courage out of all of them to be able to do it. Their fear of hospitals didn't just stem from their abuse; there was another huge reason why they didn't like them. Something that not even Ronan knew.

_Maybe it's time that we told them everything though, _Riley mused. _That way we don't have to feel like we're going to jump out of our skin, not knowing what's going to happen, all the time._

"You know it's the only thing," Noah pressed.

"I do know that…I just wish it wasn't." Riley reached out and poked Noah on the cheek with her pen. The corner of his mouth turned up and he pushed the pen away. "You're getting to be real smart, Bro. Soon you're not going to need me or Rhu around anymore."

"Don't say that." Noah sighed. "Pat, Syd, and I…we're always going to need you two, Sis. Just, not in the same ways that you're used to." He held up a hand. "Not that it's a bad thing. I'm actually jealous of you sometimes." Riley snorted. "Seriously. Especially how you aren't afraid to say what you want and how you won't let anything stand in your way. You don't back down from a challenge and you won't let anyone talk badly about us, like you're not scared of anything."

"That's funny, 'cause I'm jealous of you too," Riley said. She studied Noah as she continued. "Of all you guys actually." She started to count off on her fingers. "Syd for being able to act like a kid as long as he can, and he mega smart so there's that. You, for everyone taking you so seriously without any question of your merit. Patrick for being so outgoing and able to make friends so easily; even if he doesn't trust them half the time. Rhu for being able to think before she speaks and not offend anyone without meaning to, especially how good she is with music. I can read music, but I could give a crap about music theory and all that and she's really good at it." She shrugged. "Plus, she's a perfectionist so that it makes everything she does and we do for the band that much better." Noah smiled. "And she puts up with my crap, she doesn't have to, but she does. And I can't thank her enough for being there for me through it all."

"But me?" Riley shook her head. "I have so much responsibility on me that it really freaks me out sometimes. Granted some of it I bring on myself, but I can never say 'no' to Ronan and I don't ever want to disappoint you guys or let the rest of you down. It's not as easy as it looks, though I want you all to have as easy a life as you can."

"You know we don't blame you," Noah remarked.

"I know, but I blame myself." She started to rub her arm. "And, anyway, I can't help it." She reached out a hand and mussed Noah's hair. "Besides, with the five of us…there's always going to be some sort of mess we have to fix."

"Most of the time it's your fault."

Riley smiled, brushing her cheek with her shoulder. "It's part of my charm." She stuck her tongue out and she and Noah laughed. Riley's laughter subsided and she tilted her head back, her pigtails hanging down her back. "God, now I know what we have to do," she whined.

Noah smiled.

The two looked over at Rhuben walked into the room, braiding her sideponytail as she went. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Rhuben started.

Riley gave a half smile. "Always," she automatically finished.

…

..

.

"Do we even know what room he's supposed to be in?" Katie pulled her feet out of the way as James paced back and forth in front of her. "Anyway, you're his son, why don't you just go up to the desk and ask?"

James shot her a look but continued pacing.

"Katie, don't rush him," Logan chided. "It's hard enough that he had to go see him, but it's not easy when your parent is in the hospital." He shrugged. "Probably just as hard for a parent to see their son." He cast a side-eye at Kendall. "Considering how many times that your brother managed to get us here, my Mom expects at least one phone call a day from the hospital now."

Kendall smiled sheepishly.

Katie laughed to herself before leaning over Carlos's shoulder to watch him play Fruit Ninja. She couldn't even begin to count how many times she had waited at the diner after school to go home and had to be rushed to the hospital because Kendall, or one of the other guys, managed to hurt themselves. If it wasn't broken bones, it was sprains. If it wasn't sprains, it was bruises. If it was bruises, it was concussion. Most of the time they were from playing hockey, other times it was from getting to competitive with each other. Each and every time Katie marveled at how four guys could get into so much trouble, now she just expected it. And with the Jackson around, who seemed to make things worse before it got better (she was sure they did it on purpose).

"Mom has the hospital on speed dial," Katie said, already growing disinterested in the game. "Just in case."

"You sprain yourself a couple of times and all moms freak out." Kendall rolled his eyes. He slouched in his seat, crossing his legs in front of him. Reaching up, he adjusted his beanie as a inappropriate smile slid onto his face. "I think we started to scare Mom so much that she went prematurely grey."

"Kendall!" Katie admonished.

"Well, why do you think she started to dye it so much? I can guarantee it's not just because she likes the color."

"I don't know, hair dye works for a lot of people." Kendall, Logan, Carlos, James, and Katie turned to see the Jacksons slowly walking over to them. Sydney was partially hiding behind Patrick, hanging tightly onto his arm, looking at each person that passed him. The others were doing a better job of hiding their anxiety, though they jumped at every 'bing' that alerted someone in the waiting room and sound of doors opening and closing.

"You made it!" Carlos smiled and got up from his chair to give each of them a hug.

"How'd you know we'd be at this hospital?" James waited for his turn to hug them as well.

"I guessed," Riley admitted. "I remember that Kendall said that he came to the hospital a lot from playing hockey, and the name sounded familiar from when I brought him here…" despite the situation, her lips curled into a smirk. "When he fell on his ass and broke his collar bone."

"I should have known that even being in a hospital wouldn't stop you from being you," Kendall remarked, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Even I saw that one coming," Katie added. She turned to the older girl and smiled. "You never did tell me the story of that day."

"Later, alright?" Patrick placed a hand on Katie's shoulder, turning his attention to James. "Have you figured out what room your dad's in?"

"No." James smiled sheepishly. "I haven't even asked the receptionist yet."

"Well, we can't let this whole trip go to waste." Riley stepped up to James and looped her arm through his. "C'mon Handsome, I'll go with you." She turned and started to lead him towards the receptionist. He hesitantly walked with her. Kendall watched them go, happy that he was finally going to see his father, but his blood boiled. He turned back to the Jacksons. "What made you change your minds?"

"Yeah, we thought that you weren't coming," Logan added. "We wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't."

"I'd rather not talk about that, thanks," Rhuben said. She looked Logan over and then started to poke him in the side. Logan sighed and shoved his hand into his jeans pockets, producing a Ring Pop. He handed it over to Rhuben, who smiled and started to open it, before handing one out to Patrick, Noah, and Sydney as well. "Is Mr. Diamond being discharged today?"

"That's the plan."

Carlos then explained that Paul Diamond had a minor heart attack, but they had kept him in the hospital for a while to make sure that everything was ok. Though he was an older man, he worked out enough so that he was in great shape. The exertion that he went through, pushing himself further and further while working out, gave him the heart attack along with the heart condition that he didn't know he already had. The Jacksons nodded at Carlos's explanation. It explained why James was so apprehensive to go, he could have the same condition and he liked to work out just as much. Plus, it was like Logan said before; it was hard to see a parent in the hospital.

James and Riley walked back over to the group. "He's in a room on the third floor, we can go up," James said. He led the way over to the stairwell, being the kind of guy that would rather get the exercise than to go on an elevator.

Riley caught up with Kendall and hesitantly poked him on the arm to get his attention. "Hey, I'm, uh, sorry about what I said earlier."

"No worries," Kendall said, using the phrase that the Jacksons commonly used, back at her. Katie, who was on Kendall's other side, looked at him and noticed that he now looked relaxed, as opposed to how tense he was moments before. "I wasn't going to hold it against you anyway."

"Why?" Riley's eyebrows lowered. She crossed her arms over her chest. "I was a boofhead. I made a blue. God knows that I deserve to have it held against me."

"It's hard to stay mad at you," Kendall replied. "I don't know _how_ but it is." He smoothly rephrased his earlier statement. "All of you guys, really. It's hard to stay mad at any of you 'cause you always have a good reason behind it." Katie rolled her eyes, listening to their conversation. _Nice save on that one, bro. _"To quote you: its part of your charm."

"Unbelievable," Riley, unknowingly, quoted him back, causing him to smile. "You can't even come up with your own stuff." She shook her head before reaching out and gently shoving him on the shoulder. "Why do I even put up with you?" He knew it wasn't a question that was to be answered.

The group followed James to the room and he took a deep breath before walking inside, knocking on the door. "Hey Dad," he greeted. Paul Diamond looked up from the backpack that he was packing and grinned at his son. To say that he was handsome was a bit of an understatement and Paul definitely knew it. The charming smile that he gave could easily rival James's own smile, showing where he got it. His eyes were kind and he didn't look to be as self-centered as James made him out to be. Maybe the heart attack made him put things into prospective.

"James!" Paul stood up, standing a few inches shorter than his son, and wrapped his arms around him in a hug, gently patting him on the back. "It's good to see you, man. I didn't know that you were coming in."

Liar.

Riley glanced at her siblings and they all exchanged glances, but kept quiet. It wasn't in their place to speak up about it. Katie noticed the exchange but didn't say anything either. She turned back to James and Mr. Diamond as they talked quietly to each other. All of a sudden, she felt a pang of resentment. James barely spent anytime with his father, but still had him as someone that he could go to for help. She didn't get that luxury. She liked being able to talk to Kendall, Logan, Carlos, or James, but it wasn't the same. If her father had still been around, she would be able to look past everything and welcome him back.

That's what she told herself anyway.

"Oh, Dad, you remember my friends," James said. He motioned to Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and Katie, who all waved. "And these are the Jacksons; Sydney, Rhuben, Riley, Noah, and Patrick." They all waved when each of their names were called. "They're the ones I've been telling you about."

"Yeah, I know," Paul agreed with a smile and a nod. He turned to the Jacksons. "I like your style," he added, causing them to perk up a little bit. Most people found them to be intimidating and their style, which mostly consisted of black and dark colors, added to the 'dark' image that they had for their band. They constantly said that they weren't like their image at all, but the guys didn't completely believe it, thinking that they were at least a little like it.

_It would explain their ways of having fun, anyway_. Katie smiled to herself.

"So are you going home or….?" James shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Yeah, Shelly is going to be here in a few minutes," Paul said. He noticed the grimace on James's face. "Dude, I know it's hard for you to understand, but I am married now, and she is your step mom. You're going to have to get over that."

"I'm over it Dad," James said slowly. "But Mom's not," he admitted. "I mean, did you even think about how she felt before you started to go out with her?" Katie noticed for the first time that James was getting choked up with everything. It was the first time he had been able to confront his father about their situation.

Katie lowered her gaze to the floor. That was something that she had always hoped that she would be able to do. A bigger part of her was glad that she didn't have to see his face ever again, she didn't have to relive any of the pain that he had put them through. Would it even make a difference? After the trial he had proverbially fallen off the face of the earth again and she hadn't heard from him since. Katie felt a nudge on her arm and looked up to see Carlos waving her out of the room, to give them some privacy.

"I still don't really get why James is so upset at his dad," Sydney said as they left the room. "He seemed nice to me."

"Yeah, but that's just because you didn't spend an extended period of time with him," Logan pointed out. "Once you get to know him, you'll see that Mr. Diamond is more like a…friend than a father."

"So is Ronan," Patrick reminded him.

"Yeah, but that's different," Logan continued. "Ronan has his own sense of responsibility. James's dad cares more about his looks and staying young and 'hip' whenever kids were around." Logan finally removed his arm from Rhuben's shoulder long enough to use air quotes. He frowned. "It's weird though, his dad did seem kind of different in there."

"Maybe," Kendall agreed. But he didn't say anything more.

Katie looked over at Carlos, who had suddenly gone quiet. It was hard for him to jump into conversations like this one, when the other guys would be talking about their dads. Carlos was the only one that had both of his parents around and they showered him with attention and all of the love that he could want. He didn't know what it was like to have to deal with the frustration and envy of not having a father around. Kendall's was divorced and didn't keep much contact, James's was divorced and seemed to be doing fine with his new life, and Logan's just wasn't around and no one really knew why. Every now and then the three guys would throw a sort of a pity party for themselves, trying to see who had it worse and they would end up laughing about it. Carlos would laugh along, though he obviously didn't know why. Katie didn't see what there was to laugh at.

How could anyone laugh at not having a father around? Or any parent really?

Katie let out a frustrated grunt and turned away from her brother and his friends. A million thoughts and feelings were running through her body and she didn't know which one to address first, or if she even wanted to try. Things were easier when she was younger, she didn't ask a lot of questions, didn't need to know a lot of answers. Her father was gone, her brother was angry about it, her mother didn't talk about it, and that was that. Katie stepped into her brother's side and rested her head on his arm. Kendall moved his arm back and looped it around her shoulders, giving her a hug, protectively rubbing her shoulders. _He's probably thinking the same things I am. He was always good at doing that._

"Thanks for coming with me, guys." James's voice grabbed Katie's attention. Noticing movement out of the corner of her eye, she saw the Jacksons jump at the sudden sound of his voice. Sydney ducked behind Rhuben and wrapped his arms around her waist, squeezing her tightly. Riley's hand shook as she ran it through her air. Patrick and Noah turned away from him.

"No worries," Rhuben finally managed. "We would do it for any of you guys."

"I know," James said. His eyes seemed to be saying something else, something extra that the Jacksons caught, causing them to smile a little. Katie often wondered what it was that made her brother and her older friends so secretive sometimes. She wasn't let in on much unless she was needed for some sort of scheme that they managed to cook up. There was a lot that she didn't know until after the fact or until she demanded someone to tell her.

It was frustrating. Katie turned her head and caught Noah's eye, he gave her a knowing smile, causing her to blush and look down at her feet. Clearing her throat, she changed the subject. "So, what's up with you and your dad?"

"I think we're going to be ok," James said with a nod.

He didn't look convinced. Katie looked over at her brother and saw the frown on his face and the haunted look in his eyes. He noticed her looking at him and smiled reassuringly at her, but it didn't reach his eyes. It looked fake against his lips.

And for the first time in her life, Katie realized that her brother was not, in fact, ok.

* * *

**A/N: **Don't forget that for this story they met first in Minnesota (and then everything else happened like it usually does). If it's confusing it was because I wanted to try out an idea where they met BTR in Minnesota during BTAudtiion and then went through the rest of the process because Rhu and I couldn't ultimately decide whether or not it would work. In the grand scheme of things, I don't think it does, but for this story and what I have planned, it works well.

This chapter (as well as the whole story) has one last aspect of something that Riles goes through that I haven't really expanded upon before. As you can tell from previous stories most of her problems stem from her parents' death and branches off from there, but this is the last thing that I haven't really shown. Also, unless it's a request, this will be my last Kiley story that has to do with Kendall and Riley getting together. Other ideas I have are when they're already together; I'm saying this because for the things they have to get through before getting together, this is the last thing I really wanted to show to explain what goes on. (Though this one has to do with what Kendall has to go through besides the whole Jo/Lucy/Riley thing as well). So, technically You're Not Alone, Playing With Fire, and this story can all coincide with showing different parts of what they have to go through. (Unfortunately I didn't really make up my mind with them until I wrote the stories). Haha.

Story picks up in the next chapter, sorry for the long author's note.

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	9. Phone Calls and Sneaking Out

**.:Chapter 09:.**

* * *

_Scorpio is obsessive, driven, and extremely stubborn._

* * *

Mrs. Knight studied James carefully as she finished up washing the dishes. He seemed to be ok; he was laughing and smiling a lot. A lot more than he had earlier in the week. She hoped that his meeting up with Paul had gone well. Sighing, she remembered the phone call she had that morning, letting Brooke Diamond know that James had finally gone to see him. In hindsight, it probably wasn't a good idea. She was stuck on the phone, listening to Brooke rant and rave about how immature Paul was, how he wasn't a good husband, how he wasn't a good father, how she should have never married him. Part of it was evident with the fact that he wanted to regain his youth by dating someone much younger than him. Paul was a grown man, he could do what he wanted, but when the gossip got out, it ruined any potential of things getting better.

She then called Joanna and Sylvia and asked what they thought about it. They had gone to see him in the hospital too. The four wives and their husbands used to spend a lot of time together. They would go on quadruple dates whenever they had a date night, leaving their sons and Katie to fend for themselves at the Knight household. Of course when she got back home, she found the four guys bound and gagged on the floor, while Katie sat on the couch, casually eating popcorn and watching TV. The place was a mess and Kendall had begged her not to let them leave them alone with her anytime soon. How a two year old was able to do that much was beyond her. It was one of the few good memories that they had with Kevin and one that she cherished. She laughed each and every time she thought about it and teased Kendall relentlessly whenever she brought it up. Katie said she didn't remember it, but Kendall would look at her warily each time the story was told.

_We've had some good memories since then, just me, Katie, and Kendall. But sometimes I wish things turned out better for them. _Mrs. Knight was broken out of her thoughts by loud laughter and the phone ringing. Lifting her hands out of the soapy water, she waved her hands, water droplets flinging off of her fingers. Grabbing a dish towel, she listened to the peal of the phone once more. Carlos, laughing at whatever the boys were watching, rolled onto his back on the floor, still laughing, then curled up, holding onto his sides. He alternated between laughter and wincing. _Too bad the fans got wind of where they were. I don't think they can go around Minnesota without being mobbed anymore. _That was strange for her to get used to as well. She couldn't go to the grocery store, to the gym, or even to the diner without being asked if she was 'Kendall Knight's mom'. Even people she had known since she moved to Minnesota were starting to treat her differently and she didn't like it.

"Hello?" Mrs. Knight held cradled the phone against her ear and shoulder.

"Hey Kace, it's me," Kevin's baritone voice reached her ears. "I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time."

"No, Kevin, it's alright," Mrs. Knight replied. "I was just doing some dishes." Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Kendall turn her way. She lowered her voice, not wanting him to know who she was talking to. The curiosity was evident in his eyes. "Is something wrong?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Kendall's contract as well as the Jacksons'," Kevin explained. "There are some questionable things that we have to look over. In fact, there are some things that I don't think that Ronan even noticed in their contract. Plus, Griffin snuck a few things in Kendall's and it wouldn't surprise me if the other boys have it as well."

"Really? Like what?" Mrs. Knight placed her free hand on her hip. "Ronan's usually pretty good at spotting these things." At the mention of the Jacksons' music producer and father, all the boys turned her way. She turned her back to them. "He does his best with it anyway."

"That's precisely my point," Kevin continued. "His lawyer may look over as many things as they can, but considering that Robert held me responsible for everything with it, there wasn't much that he could look out for. It's pretty complicated. But it says on their contract that when they hit eighteen they're allowed to use the money from their band as much as they want."

"That's right," Mrs. Knight said. "Riley and Rhuben turned eighteen back in September. Ronan explained that they can use the money however they please."

"Right, but there's something else that you didn't see in there. Robert...the money that they should be receiving from their deceased parent's inheritance…Robert's getting part of that and has been for as long as he has been working with them. They can get their share of the inheritance when they turn twenty-one, which I'm sure that Julius has done, but his is a bigger portion than the others because of Robert."

Mrs. Knight's blood ran cold. It was bad enough that they had to suffer the abuse from him for ages, though the Jacksons said that there were many times that he was a nice guy and actually cared for him, which she had yet to see, their parents had perished in a fire when they were young, then they were essentially forced into the music industry. As much as the Jacksons said they liked making music, which was evident whenever they were working together or were onstage or at appearances, they had gotten tired of it and decided to take a break for that year. Now they had to wonder whether or not a lot of their parents' money had been taken by the guy that had been greedy enough to make CDs out of them for almost ten years.

"That's terrible," Mrs. Knight said. "That wasn't good enough to accurately depict how she was feeling about the situation. "It says that in their contract for Blazing Phoenix?"

"It was put in, in such a way, that when read it seems like he's talking about his manager duties and how he should be paid. But he added in their monetary value for their fortune. I doubt even Ronan knows." Mrs. Knight could hear a strange emotion in his voice. "Now, for Kendall, it's not that bad, as you can imagine, but he's not getting the sort of money that he deserves."

"So you're saying Gustavo-"

"I don't think its Gustavo, I think its Griffin. Think of it this way, from what you told me, Gustavo was really…desperate when it came to getting the new boyband out. Especially since Griffin was going to take back the money he funded for it and Gustavo probably didn't have the credibility to make his own company yet." He paused for a moment, and she could hear him flipping through a couple of pages that were probably sitting in front of him. "I think the other guys have the same problem, but I can't be sure because they would need to contact their lawyers as well."

"Are you being serious?" Mrs. Knight ran a hand over her forehead.

"Kace, when have I _not_ been serious when it comes to my kid's well being?" Kevin's voice was condescending, even partially malicious as if he intended to hurt her.

Mrs. Knight bristled. "It seems that you don't remember why you left in the first place!" She spat. "You had to go."

"I didn't _have_ to do anything," Kevin shot back. "But that's not what we're talking about right now. We're talking about how our boys may be getting ripped off. The next time that you're in LA, I need to see both of you and maybe Gustavo."

"You want me to bring Kendall to you in LA?" Mrs. Knight snorted. "I'm sorry; do you have a death wish? You know he doesn't ever want to see you again."

"I know that!" Kevin snapped with such ferocity that Mrs. Knight pulled her phone away from her ear and looked at it. "I know that." He lowered his voice, now sounding calmer and apologetic. "I may not have been a great father, but he's still my son, and you're still my wife if you've forgotten that we're just separated."

"I haven't forgotten," Mrs. Knight mumbled. She briefly closed her eyes, remembering the time where he sent her the separation papers. It was still as confusing as it was back then. He originally wanted a divorce, why would he just hold it off as long as he could? Did he really think that they could get back together after everything that happened? She could admit that she wanted to get back together with him at some time, now she wasn't so sure. Her life was good, she loved her son and daughter, and liked being a Momager, now this threw everything in a tailspin. "When do you want to see us?"

"As soon as you can, though I'll suggest that you bring the Jacksons too."

Mrs. Knight hesitated. "But they don't know what's going on," she protested. "Neither does Ronan, and I don't think the shock is really going to help them in their current situation. I mean, they just announced their abuse, and together and separately they're being pulled in all sorts of directions to appearances and interviews to talk about it. Hearing about their parents and their money might make things worse."

"If you really care about them, you'll get them to me as soon as you can," Kevin said. He was silent for a long moment. "Just do what you can, Kace. And…if it helps…I've been rooting for you guys the whole time, since they started the band. I knew that they would go far. I haven't stopped thinking about them or you."

"That's great," Mrs. Knight said flatly. "He'd be glad to hear that." She ran a hand through her hair. "Ok, let me talk to Ronan about this and then we can figure everything out. Bye." She didn't give him a chance to respond before hanging up the phone.

"I'm not going."

Mrs. Knight jumped, letting out a startled scream. She turned around to see Kendall leaning on the island behind her. Turning her head, she scanned the living room; James, Logan, and Carlos whipped their heads away, trying not to be obvious about listening. Steeling herself, Mrs. Knight turned to her son, knowing she was going to have to face his wrath sometime soon. "We might not have a choice on this one, honey."

"Like hell we don't," Kendall said.

Mrs. Knight crossed her arms over her chest, giving him what she called 'the mom stare'. He cowered under his mother's gaze, but didn't completely back down. He knew that he was treading in dangerous waters, but he wanted to be heard. "Kendall-"

"I don't want to see him," he continued. "I don't even care if he snapped his leg in half and he needed mine to sew back on in its place. Let him bleed out for all I care."

"Actually," Logan piped up. "You can only give organs to another person, not body parts." Kendall turned and glared at him. "But in this case, what do I know? I could be wrong." He grabbed a pillow and moved it so that it covered his mouth. James and Carlos stayed silent, watching, mouths agape.

Mrs. Knight smiled a little. "Kendall, you don't understand what's going on," she said in a low voice.

"There are a lot of things that I don't understand, Mom," Kendall said. She was a bit irked, hearing the same condescending tone in his voice that her husband had just used on her. "But that doesn't mean that I don't get it."

"That doesn't make any-"

"Logan!" Kendall snapped.

Logan brought the pillow back up and pressed it over his mouth, using both hands this time. Carlos's eyes widened as he stared at his friend. James watched, holding a ice pack to his forehead, coving a bump that he had received from a overly excited fan that had jumped him earlier that day. He didn't seem surprised at the way that James was acting.

"I don't care what he has to say or why he wants to see me, I'm not going," Kendall repeated. Clenching his hands into fists, his upper lip curled. "What can he say that's different this time than any other time before? How do I know that if we go he won't treat us the same way he used to?"

Mrs. Knight pressed her lips together, wondering if she should say anything before meeting with Ronan and the Jacksons to discuss everything. She knew that it would be better to talk to them face-to-face rather than have them hear everything afterward. However, she needed him to understand. "If you're not going to do this for you, then do it for your friends." Kendall's eyebrow twitched, unmoved. "The Jacksons, do it for them."

Kendall reached up a hand and scratched at his eyebrow. He bit his lower lip before running a hand through his hair, glancing at his friends. They looked as confused as he did. "What about them?"

"Your dad is their lawyer too," Mrs. Knight said.

Kendall's jaw dropped. "Uh, I thought Ronan's lawyer was-"

"It's complicated, but due to Robert going to jail…some things were transferred over to Ronan's care, others weren't, the lawyer wasn't. He's yours and Katie's and my lawyer and he's the Jacksons' lawyer as well. He's been looking over their contract and they have a problem, just like yours. Though theirs is worse…" Mrs. Knight trailed off. In the silence that followed, she could hear the music that Katie was listening in her room loud and clear. Britney Spears. _She doesn't listen to Britney. _That meant that she was using the music as a cover to hide her eavesdropping. "Kendall?"

"Whatever." He licked his lips, his gaze on his feet. "I'm still not fucking going and you can't make me."

Kendall glanced at his mother, a haunted look in his eyes, before turning on his heel and leaving the kitchen. Taking the stairs three steps at a time, ignoring the aching of his muscles and bones by the run in with their fans, he went to his room. He had sat down at his desk, aimlessly looking at a notebook in front of him, when James, Carlos, and Logan entered the room behind him.

"Kendall? Are you ok?" Carlos asked quietly, afraid to upset him even more.

"I'm as good as I can be," Kendall replied. He shrugged a wry smile on his face. "You know, considering that I just found out that my dad is my best friends' lawyer. I'm just peachy. That's another thing I have to worry about." He raised his hands and dropped it into his lap. "My Dad kept their dad from going to jail, and now he's the one that handles the possession of all of their assets. If one of them goes to jail, I'm sure he'll make sure they get the maximum sentence."

"I don't think that-"Carlos started, but James's snort cut him off.

"Be glad that your dad actually has a job that you can be proud of," James said. "Mine just seems to sit around and work out. I don't think I've actually seen him go to work since he married Mom." He gave an over the top smile. "Good news though, he's taking us snowboarding tomorrow."

"He just got out of the hospital from a heart attack and he's taking us snowboarding?" Logan looked at him in disbelief.

"Make you glad to know that you don't know where your dad is, huh?" James clapped Logan on the shoulder. If Logan felt any offense to what James had said, he didn't show it. Carlos looked at his three best friends helplessly. He couldn't join the conversation at all; every time they got started, he would wait for it to end and would say or do something else that would take their attention off of it. It was probably the one thing that distanced him from his friends, though he did his best to be a good listener.

"Well, snowboarding should be fun," Carlos said. He smiled brightly. "We haven't gone in forever. We should make the whole day of it, it'll be fun."

"Sounds good to me," Logan smiled a little. "But we're gonna have to go at like, noon, or something. After I finish my dance lesson."

Kendall looked at him funny. "Since when do you have private dance lessons? You never did it before."

"That's because he's not as terrible as you," James remarked. Kendall rolled his eyes. "Besides, I'm great at dancing, but if it means I have Rhubes' undivided attention on me for as long as it takes, I'll gladly do it."

"Which explains why you go to fittings so often," Carlos piped up. He looked thoughtful. "And make sure that you do everything perfectly for choreography. And need so much help with English homework. And give your opinions on their art. And work out even more so now. And-"

James grinned. "Exactly."

"You do know that Patrick, Noah, and Sydney give you, like, death glares, each time you do that, right?" Kendall said. "Even though they're younger than their sisters, the whole 'brother-has-to-protect-their-sister' is still in effect."

"That's true," Logan piped up. "There was this one time, back when we were in Texas, that there were these guys in the class above us that were teasing them, but kind of flirting at the same time, as much as a ten year old can. And even though they were only six years old, Patrick and Noah basically threatened them and stayed by their sisters' sides as long as they could. It's probably gotten worse as they got older."

"Whatever." James dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "A guy can dream, right?"

_Yeah, right. _Kendall rolled his eyes. _You say that you're not that kind of guy…not like you're dad. You say it's only to help raise their self-esteem but you don't act like it. _Kendall immediately felt bad for the mean thought. He leaned back in his seat, running his hands over his face. That's what his father did to him, he jumped to conclusions, made judgmental comments, and had a habit of blurting out or thinking every mean thought that he could possibly think. Even in this situation, he knew that James was never completely serious about flirting with Riley and Rhuben. Yes, he thought that the two of them were attractive, but he was trying to raise their self-esteem after having it been shot down for years. James was doing a noble thing but it got on Kendall's _freaking nerves_ sometimes.

"Just tone it down sometimes," Logan suggested. Kendall glanced at him and smiled, noticing that Logan was trying to act nonchalant, cleaning his fingernails. "Then you won't have to worry about it."

"Tell that to Carlos and his bear hugs," James said.

Carlos looked offended. "But they like that. _Everyone _likes my hugs!"

Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James laughed. Kendall turned away from his desk and got up from the chair. He walked over to his bed and grabbed one of the many pillows that was nestled on top and threw it at the back of James's head. When James turned, he pointed over to Logan, who wasn't paying attention. James picked up the fallen pillow and heaved it at Logan's face, hitting him square on. The pillow dropping to his lap, Logan glared at James before he threw it back. In a matter of minutes, pillows were flying all over the room, accompanied by shouts and laughter of the pillow fight. The pain of their injuries and their earlier conversation forgotten. They were so busy fighting that they didn't hear Katie knock on the door, or see her walk into the room, carrying a blanket and a pillow.

"Geez and you wonder why no one takes you guys seriously," she remarked.

"What's up, Katie?" Kendall ducked a flying pillow before brushing his fringe off of his forehead.

Katie looked embarrassed for a moment. "Um, can I sleep with you?" She lifted her pillow and blanket. "I…uh…it's too cold in my room." Kendall knew that wasn't the reason why. She had been listening to the conversation that he and their mother had. She was probably just as confused as he was with the revelation. He could understand how she didn't want to be alone after that. He didn't particularly want to be alone either.

"Sure," Kendall agreed. He walked over to his sister and gave her a kiss on the head. "You don't have to ask. Do you need me to sing you to sleep, too?"

Now Katie blushed. "No!" She snapped. "I'm not a baby, Kendall." She walked over to his bed and climbed on top, arranging her pillow and blanket.

"It's probably a good idea if we go to sleep too," Logan said. "That way we can be in top shape when we go snowboard tomorrow." Always the one to think ahead, Logan had a point. Though it probably wasn't for the fact that he wanted to snowboard well. The last time they had gone snowboarding, he had been the first to fall asleep in the lodge and woke up completely made over in makeup as well as having been duct taped to a wall. It wasn't going to happen again if he had anything to say about it.

James got into the sleeping bag that had already been set up for him. He was foregoing his normal nightly hair care routine, he was that tired. Kendall left the room and went to the linen closet, grabbing some extra blankets and pillows for Carlos and Logan. He handed them to his friends and waited for them to set their beds up, kicking off his shoes and taking off his sweatshirt.

Once everyone was settled, Kendall turned out the lights and climbed into his bed, Katie was already asleep, clutching a pillow to her stomach. James, Logan, and Carlos got settled on the floor, all nodding off pretty quickly. Carlos, being the last one awake, was drifting off when he heard movement from Kendall's bed. Through half lidded eyes, he could see Kendall slowly climb out of bed. He surveyed his friends on the floor, and his sister in his bed before bending over. Carlos watched as he pulled on his shoes and moved over towards the window. Placing his hands on the glass, he pushed the window up, stuck his leg out, and disappeared from view.

Carlos woke up again when Kendall came back home, the next morning.

* * *

**A/N: **Up until this chapter, this story seemed to be all over the place and not my best. But I have everything worked out now. I hope you liked the chapter. Was the switch of POVs from Mrs. Knight to Kendall confuse anyone? I hope I did it well. Also, not that you can see on the outside, the three main-main characters of this story are Kendall, Katie, and Mrs. Knight. Everyone else is a main but slightly less important. More Kiley stuff coming up.

**Lella-KileyLuvr: **Sorry. I forgot to answer your question in the A/N of chapter eight. Yes, there are other pairings. While Kiley is the main, to me now that I think about it, it wouldn't make sense if there weren't others going on because other people's relationships and other things still happen even if the story doesn't focus on them. (This is really my first time doing it for a pairing centered story, so, technically, until now I was a hypocrite about it, haha). They were hinted in the last chapter though it will become more evident when time goes on. Haven't decided if D, WW, and L will appear in this story or not though.

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	10. Snowboarding and Fist Fights

**.:Chapter 10:.**

_When Scorpio's emotions erupt, they do so very violently, often with a strong burst of sarcasm and vindictiveness. Virgos will tell you the truth, NOT what you want to hear._

* * *

_Whump!_

"Dang it!"

Kendall laughed and turned his snowboard to the side. He waited until he was at a complete stop before leaning back and sitting down on the ground, taking off his gloves. He glanced down at the mountain, watching as his friends tried to learn how to snowboard. Logan, James, Carlos, and himself were doing a pretty good job of teaching the Jacksons what to do, but it seemed like no matter how hard they tried, they just weren't getting it. Even when they had gone snowboard back when the guys had taken them to Minnesota for Christmas, they weren't that great. But they had fun and that was all that mattered.

His eyes wandering off to the side, Kendall watched James and his Dad. They seemed to be having a good time, but when Paul picked everyone up in the rental van that morning, things were a little weird. James was obviously not happy to see his father when he pulled up at the Knight's house, where they all agreed to meet that morning.

"Hey son!" Paul grinned and walked over to James to give him a hug. "How you doing?" James allowed his father to hug him, holding his arms around him tightly, slapping his hands on his back in happiness. James awkwardly returned the hug before stepping back. "Good to see that your mother is actually feeding you."

"I've been staying with Kendall," James replied. "I've talked to Mom on the phone, but I haven't actually seen her."

"If it were me, I wouldn't really want to see her either," Paul admitted.

James's eyes had turned hard at that, narrowing into slits. "She's been busy, Dad." That was all that he needed to say, but it was enough. Paul took a step back away from his son. He looked troubled for a moment, but then it was replaced with the good natured smile again.

"Your mother's always busy, dude," Paul said. "It's nothing new." He turned to Carlos, Logan, and Kendall and nodded at them as they moved to put their snowboards into the trunk of the van. "How are you boys doing?"

"Good, Mr. Diamond," Carlos replied, happy as a clam. He was always a happy person and despite how James felt about his father, he was taught by his own parents to be respectful to his elders. "Just excited to go snowboarding today." He turned to the Jacksons, who were waiting quietly by the van. "And these are our friends, Sydney, Noah, Patrick, Rhuben, and Riley." He pointed to each of them in turn and then turned the other way to point to Ronan. "And that's their father, Ronan."

"Nice to meet you." Ronan smiled and nodded. He stuck a hand out and grabbed Mr. Diamond's hand firmly in his, shaking it.

"You too," Paul agreed. He looked at him funny before speaking again. "I'm glad that you're allowing your kids to come with me to go snowboarding. It should be a fun time."

"As much as they hate the cold, I'm sure that it'll be a good experience for them," Ronan replied. He laughed when the Jacksons made different sounds of mocking disagreement. "Well, they say that it won't be, but it will. But, seriously, don't listen to them when they start to complain."

"I won't." Paul laughed as well. He looked over at Mrs. Knight and his smile faded a little. She didn't greet him; she just looked back at him with the same expression that he was giving her. They had a really strained relationship, though their sons were best friends. They were each looking at what the other had lost. Mrs. Knight had lost her husband and Mr. Diamond had lost his wife. She thought that Mr. Diamond was a bit of a coward, though she would never tell him that, and he thought that Mrs. Knight was a bit of a control freak. Ever since their marriages had dissolved, so did everything else.

Paul finally gave her a polite nod and everyone started to climb into the van.

"Whoever invented five o'clock in the morning was probably the stupidest person in the history of existence," Patrick complained as he climbed into the van in a seat beside Katie. He pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt and hunched down in his seat, a scowl on his face. "Who actually _likes _to watch the sunrise?"

"It's actually pretty cool, Bro," Riley said. She reached over and grabbed the handle of the van, pulling it shut. Sydney leaned over her lap and waved out the window towards Ronan and Mrs. Knight. They were staying behind to get some work done. None of the teenagers were fooled by that, sure, they might be getting some work done for their bands, and yeah, they were probably happy that they were going to get some time away from their kids, but all of them knew that something was going on between the two of them whether they knew it or not. Adults could be as obvious about it as teenagers were, but they were more mature about it. "You'd get used to it after a while anyway," she added. "Um, Mr. Diamond?"

"You can call me Paul." In the passenger seat, James, who was looking at his reflection in the visor, rolled his eyes. Mr. Diamond leaned over the side of the driver's seat to address all of the teenagers sitting in the car. "All of you guys can, I'm not one that's big on formalities."

"Mr. Diamond, how long is the drive up to the lodge?" Riley gave James's father a sweet smile. He blinked slowly, somewhat taken aback. Riley moved her gaze over to James and he smiled and winked at her, which she returned then turned back to Mr. Diamond. On her other side, Kendall made a grunting sound and slid lower in his seat, resting his head back against the head rest. Carlos, Rhuben, and Patrick laughed.

"It's about an hour's drive," he finally replied. He got comfortable in the front seat and turned on the van. "Plenty of time to get acquainted." He directed this part at James, who didn't say anything in reply.

James just leaned back the chair as far as it could go and stared out the side window. Every now and then he would answer his father's questions, but the ride up was considerably quieter than was used to around Big Time Rush or the DarkElements. When they got closer to the lodge and where they were going to be spending the day snowboarding, they got even livelier. Carlos was telling the Jacksons all about the different snowboarding trips that they would take, Katie would interject to tell an embarrassing detail here or there, Logan would warn them about the things that they had to look out for while on the mountain, and the Jacksons were asking as many questions as they could, determined to actually snowboard further than two feet before hitting the ground.

Now that they had spent a good amount of time on the mountain, James had loosened up a lot to have a good time. He didn't seem to mind having Paul around. But Kendall knew that looks could be deceiving and that James was just as good an actor as he was a singer. (After he had turned down the part on Witches of Rodeo Drive, he had made sure that he could perfect his craft as much as he could around his singing schedule).

"I seriously don't get why you guys like doing this so much," Patrick grumbled. He lifted his goggles off of his face and onto the top of his helmet. Pouting, he leaned forward and rested his arms on his upraised knees, his feet strapped into the snowboard. "It's so freaking stupid."

"Ah, don't feel so bad about it, you're still getting the hang of it," Kendall reassured him. Reaching over, he patted Patrick on the shoulder. "Don't get discouraged. It took me a while to learn how."

"Oh yeah?" The curl of the younger boy's lip effectively showed his skepticism.

"Believe it or not, but we're not good with everything that has to do with snow." Kendall laughed. "I was actually the last one out of the four of us to learn how to snowboard." The memories of him falling over, constantly getting mouthfuls of snow made him smile. "But the guys always helped me; they wouldn't stop until I learned how to go down without falling."

A humming sound came from Patrick's mouth, but he didn't say anything. The two sat at the top of the hill, watching the snowboarders and skiers move around them. Young and old, snow was being picked up and littered the air as everyone enjoyed their own activities. Kids were being pulled around on inner tubes, dogs frolicked through the snow, and shrieks of laughter pierced the air, swelling up into a balloon of the day's excitement. Further down the hill, Katie was snowboarding a little way's behind Sydney, watching as he managed to make it down the hill without falling. A few feet away, Logan, James, and Carlos were helping Riley, Rhuben, and Noah as they made their own runs down the snowy slope, falling every now and then. But, as usual, the guys were as supportive as ever, waiting for them to master it.

_At least they're having fun _Kendall reminded himself. _That's all that they need. They really need to stop worrying about us all the time. _He was a little put off that they had taken time away from their break to accompany James with them to Minnesota just because his father had a heart attack. They had always been like that, selfless to the point that they would give up their whole day if one of the guys or Katie had asked. _But there had to be some times where they needed to be selfish._

"What?" Patrick's question startled him. He turned and watched as Patrick, suddenly seeming to realize that snowboarding and facial piercings didn't mix, took out the studs that he had pieced in his lip. "You had this really pensive look on your face, what're you thinking about?"

"How much I like hanging out with you guys," Kendall replied.

Patrick smirked. "Hanging out with Riles, you mean." Kendall's smiled acknowledged that Patrick's statement was true. "I get it. She's cool, funny, smart, an awesome big sister. Unfortunately she doesn't realize how awesome she is; she just needs to give herself more credit sometimes. But you get that, no worries."

"But I like hanging out with all of you guys too," Kendall defended himself. "Yeah, I spend more time with her, but I think I'm the only one out of all of us guys that try to hang out with each of you." Patrick's eyebrows lowered. "Not to get a big head or anything," Kendall added quickly. Patrick nodded. "I mean, Riles is my best friend…we can do everything and nothing and I'd have a good time. I can dance with Rhu just as easily as we can go to a car show. You can be as much of a dork as I can and we like to play sports. Syd is like my little brother and I've never had a little brother so that's cool. And Noah I can chill with and do bits of everything…though he's really taught me how to work with my hands lately."

Patrick gave him a funny look. "Dude,"

"Not like that!" Kendall cried.

Patrick laughed and held up his hands. "You put it out there, K-Dawg, I was just saying."

"I mean…" Kendall trailed off. "I see how artistic you guys are, you're each good with your own thing. Honestly, I never understood it, because fine art isn't really my thing and I never really understood how anyone could see emotion in a picture or something y'know? But he helped me realized that art doesn't have to be, like freakishly amazing like those dragon sculptures that you two make. So I got into my own thing and started building birdhouses in my spare time."

"Birdhouses?"

"It sounds kinda dorky but-"

"No." Patrick shook his head. "It sounds like you."

Kendall wasn't sure what he meant by that, but then again, he was never always 100% sure what the Jacksons ever meant. They were famous for being mysterious, some more so than others, and he and the guys and Katie just took it in stride. But this one really stumped him.

"Thanks, I guess," Kendall finally said. He stood up, shifting his weight over his snowboard so that he could stand up without falling over. He adjusted his helmet and goggles. "Ok, let's try again, but time I want you think of something else besides snowboarding when you're doing this."

Patrick looked skeptical as he struggled to get to his feet. Kendall watched; the raven haired teen wind milled his arms, mimicked the backstroke, and even mimed the movements of hula hooping as he tried to get to his feet. Still, he managed a flurry of snow as he crashed back to the ground, arms outstretched. "How 'bout I just lie here and think about making snow devils, yeah?"

"Snow angels."

"Whatever. You cold people are the blokes that came up with it."

Kendall leaned over and grabbed onto Patrick's arms, pulling him to his feet. "Trust me. Just think about it as surfing." Patrick's lips twitched and Kendal knew he got him. Surfing was something that Patrick could barely live without, back in LA or in Sydney he would start and end his day with surfing, even grabbing an hour or two in the middle of his day, willing to skip lunch (which says a lot) to be able to do it. "Shift your weight like you do for surfing and you can easily get down this hill." He pointed a gloved hand towards the bottom of the slope.

"Sweet." Patrick lowered his goggles and did as he was told.

Kendall jumped up and twisted his body to the side, angling his surfboard and went after Patrick. Shifting his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet, Kendall followed Patrick down the hill, watching as the younger teenage boy picked up speed, practicing maneuvers to move out of the way of those that suddenly crossed his path. Patrick even managed to go off of a small jump that had been made, landing perfectly by bending his knees. When the two reached the bottom of the hill, Patrick turned his snowboard to the side, sloshing snow out from under his board.

Kendall stopped behind him and threw his hands into the air. "Woo hoo! I knew you could do it!"

"Dude, thanks!" Patrick held up a hand and the two high-fived. "If I knew it could be this easy, I would have done it a long time ago."

"Does that mean that you'd actually brave the cold with us to go snowboarding again?" Kendall pressed. "But back in California."

"Don't push it." Patrick rubbed the back of his neck. "Snowboarding I can deal with, I'm not going to be able to deal with the cold until hell freezes over."

Kendall laughed.

* * *

"Ow. Ow. Owwww."

Kendall walked into the lodge and laughed when he spotted Riley slowly lifting herself up onto a chair that sat next to a window wall. Her jacket was draped across the back of her chair and her shoes covered in melting snow that dripped to the floor. Once settled, she let out a heavy sigh, stretching out her arms and leaned across the table top in front of her. "Hard day's work?" Kendall slid into the seat across from her.

Riley lifted her head so that her chin was resting on the table and glared at him. "It's not fucking funny, Hockey-Head."

"Really? Cause I think it's hysterical." Kendall grinned back at her. "Something that you're not that good at? It's always funny to me. Such as your pathetic attempts to play basketball." He reached forward and pulled some melting snow out of her hair, his fingertips brushing her forehead. "What happened?"

"Ask James." Riley sat up, her eyes closing as she winced. "I _told_ him not to let go until I was ready and cue three seconds later when some other girls went by." She started to rub her lower back. "I haven't fallen on my ass this much since I was in fucking kindie."

Kendall's eyebrow rose. "Clumsy?"

"You'd be surprised," Riley remarked. She stretched her arms over her head, causing the bottom of her shirt to rise up. Kendall's eyes shot to the nautical star tattoo on her hips before sting on her face again, giving her a smile. Riley laced her fingers together, resting her arms on the table. "So how'd you do today?" She tilted her head to the side. "Sorry, I forgot, you were, like, conceived in the snow."

Kendall thought about it for a moment. "Actually, from what Mom's told me, I was conceived in a-"

Riley held up her hand directly in front of Kendall's face and he fell silent. "I don't want to know," she said. "There are a _lot _of things that I know about you, but I don't want to know about _that_." Kendall shrugged the smile still on his face. He looked behind Riley and around the lodge. Katie, Patrick, Noah, and Sydney were sitting on one couch with Logan, Rhuben, and Carlos on the other, they seemed to be playing some sort of game as they were writing down on notepads and whispering to each other, leaning over to see what the other wrote. He then saw James and Paul sitting in another corner of the lodge, conversing quietly. Riley followed his gaze. "Yeah, James was talking about him a lot."

"Huh?"

"When we were snowboarding, he was talking about his Dad a lot," Riley reiterated. "Mostly how he hoped that things would get better between them but how he thinks that it's hard to be honest with how…hurt he was by him." She bobbed her head back and forth. "Of course this was between the times where he would drop me on my ass."

"Hm."

Riley looked at Kendall out of the corner of his eye. "You don't have to be jealous."

Kendall blinked once. "I'm not jealous," he denied. Though he knew that it wasn't true. He was a jealous and territorial person. So much so that it almost ruined his relationship with Jo twice. It wasn't his fault. Being jealous was a sign of really caring for someone, that's how he made himself feel about it, anyway.

"Of James?" Riley clarified. "Yeah, you are. Green's not your color but you got the whole 'Green Eyed Monster' thing down to a T."

"That's just a setback because of my mom's genes," Kendall said with a roll of his eyes. "Anyway, I'll get us something to drink."

Riley looked at him suspiciously, her dark eyes narrowing as she regarded him. "You don't even know what I want, boofhead."

Kendall gave her a 'duh' look. "Yes, I do. You get the same thing every time. If there's a chance that you can get hot chocolate you get that with chocolate chips and whipped cream."

Riley blinked. "Well…I don't want the chocolate chips."

"Yes, you do." Pulling his wallet out of his pocket, Kendall walked over to the café counter and waited for be served. When the cashier turned to him, he ordered two hot chocolates. Upon receiving them, he walked back over to the table and set them down, taking his seat again. When he noticed that Riley was looking at him, he raised an eyebrow, bringing the cup to his lips. "What? Were you watching me or something?"

"Yep."

The simple word rolling off her tongue caused him to pause with the cup a few inches from his lips. Riley nonchalantly brought her cup to her mouth and took a sip of hers. He didn't expect her to admit it, not that he wasn't glad to hear it. The amount of time that he spent watching her could be considered creepy if he ever got caught, he just didn't think that she would return the gesture.

_"I guess so," Riley agreed. She then frowned, looking at him seriously. "I hope you don't think that just because you apologized I'm going t automatically going to completely trust you again. Personally, I think that you need some time to yourself, because you've changed since you started to go out with either of them. I mean, I might not be always willing to talk about it when you want, but I'd still try to help somehow."_

_Kendall gave a half smile. "How long do I have to wait?"_

_"Until you think that I wouldn't hit you in the face," Riley replied._

_"Deal."_

He let out a quiet sigh before leaning forward. He felt his knee bump against hers but she didn't pull hers away, instead keeping the contact. "So you admit it?"

Riley ran her fingers through her dark tresses, smoothing it off of her forehead. Her red strand of hair flopped back into her eyes, contrasting against the dark hue. "You thought I wouldn't?"

"Do you not know you?"

"Do _you_?" She smirked at him, her eyebrows twitching, knowing that she had won. Kendall felt his annoyance spike a little. He absolutely hated to lose.

"You know that makes no sense right?" He shot back.

"You know you're a blonde right?" She seemed to catch on to what he was doing and shot it right back at him.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Uh, making sure that you actually understood what I meant?"

Kendall blinked twice. "Damn." He warmed his hands on his cup of hot chocolate as Riley laughed in triumph. "You don't have to rub it in."

"Yes, I do, considering how freakishly competitive you get."

"Look who's talking."

That was something that they definitely had in common, the drive to win. There were many times that conversations could turn into full blown argument over something so small. If he made a remark that she thought was wrong, they would argue. Most times they would argue so much that they didn't even remember what they were arguing about in the first place. They never took it seriously, though; the fights that they had when they were angry compared to the silly ones were far different. With their passionate personalities, it could be downright scary if they were in a fight with each other, which is why they didn't do it often. His eyes shifted when he noticed her waving a hand in his face. Kendall reached out and grabbed it, pushing it out of his face. Riley grabbed onto his hand, holding it on the table, curling her fingers around his.

"What?"

"Nothing." Kendall shook his head. "Just lost in thought."

Riley smirked again. "Must be unfamiliar territory."

"Nice one."

"I know. I'm just that amazing." Her smirk faded. "Anyway, you texted me last night, saying you wanted to talk about something, yeah?" She looked at him seriously; he could see the concern in her eyes. That was something else he liked about her, how easily they could mess with each other, fight, and, be silly but then talk seriously as well. She was one of the few people he trusted with what he was really feeling as well as his secrets. Riley moved her hand so that they started to play a game of thumb war. "Does it have something to do with the band? Your Mom and Katie?"

"No." Kendall breathed the word in a sigh. "It's…I don't know, it's kind of weird." _How do you tell someone that their money is being taken out from underneath their nose? Especially by the guy that caused them so much pain? How do I tell them that my Dad is their lawyer if I can't even talk to him myself?_

"What's wrong, Kendall?"

Though she seldom did it, he loved hearing his name come out of her mouth. His actual name, not the constant nicknames that she gave him, in a weird way he liked those too. It sounded different whenever she said his name; somehow he could tell that she was telling him that she really cared just by saying it.

"It's just-"

"Whoa, who would've thought that we'd see Kendall Knight back here?" Kendall stiffened and turned to see a teenage boy standing beside him. He immediately recognized him as one of the Duluth hockey players that he had faced before. The players from Duluth and the players from St. Paul had a rivalry with each other that had gone on for years, even before they were born. Growing up you knew that the two cities didn't like each other, the hockey players especially as they were always the top two to win the cup. "Did you get tired of the boy band already?"

The way he said boy band was so condescending that it made Kendall's blood boil. "We're taking a vacation, not that it's any of your business."

"So you decided to come back and slum it with us?" The boy raised his chin. "How noble of you? Get tired of signing autographs already?"

Kendall sucked in a deep breath through his nose. Pulling his hand away from Riley's he dropped it into his lap. His green eyes moved over to Riley's blue eyes, silently asking _what should I do? _ She briefly glanced at the ceiling, but didn't make any other movements to answer his question. That's what she always did to help him; either answered a question with a question or made him figure out what to do on his own.

"Geez, I knew that celebrities could be rude, but ignoring your _fans?"_

"You're not a fan," Kendall said. Out of the corner of his eye the guy crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn't going anywhere. Now that he had Kendall's attention he was going to say everything he needed to say.

"Oh, but I'm a _huge_ Rusher," the guy continued. "I just love to fawn all over you guys and act like you're the best thing since sliced bread. I mean, that's what we all did whenever we saw you playing hockey." His upper lip curled. "You don't remember me do you?"

"I never forget a face," Kendall replied. "But in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."

The guy raised his hands defensively. "Geez. I was just saying 'hi'. It's not every day that someone you used to play hockey with becomes a big shot and actually leaves this place. I mean, I know that's what your dad's dream was, right?" Kendall clenched his jaw. "The great Kevin Knight was so close to getting to the NHL a huge hero to everyone…skip forward a couple of years and he's a dead beat that leaves his kids behind."

Kendall started to move forward, wanting to leap out of the chair and throttle him, but Riley slipped her hand over his wrist and held onto it tightly. He tried to pull his hand away; she tightened her grip, holding him in place. "Don't," she said under her breath. Kendall made a sound of frustration as he glared at the guy standing in front of him. "Seriously, don't."

"I want to hit him so bad, it's not even funny," Kendall practically whispered.

"I know you do," Riley said. "Trust me. I do." She shook her head. "Every time someone says something bad about my family, I want to knock their fucking teeth out. But you have to think about whether or not it's in your best interest to go with that impulse."

"I don't want to hear it," Kendall said. He yanked his arm back, pulling Riley with him. "Riles, let go!"

"I know it's not what you want to hear, but you do need to hear it," Riley continued. She dug her fingernails into his wrist, making sure she had his attention. "Do you want the backlash? Not only from your fans but from your Mom and Katie? You think, at the moment, that punching this guy is exactly what you want-"

"It _is_!" Kendall insisted. "I want to wipe that smug look off of his face so badly it's not even funny."

"But in the end, you're going to regret it. I have. Many times." She motioned over to the guy. "If you punch him, I swear to god that you're going to regret it. Maybe not now, but later, you definitely will. And I don't want that for you. You're better than that." She licked her lips. "Don't be like me."

Kendall was silent for a long moment. His eyes shifted back and forth across the snow covered ground as he thought about everything that she said. It made a lot of sense, more than he would have liked to admit. He really, _really _wanted to knock the guy out. So much so that his fists were actually starting to itch with how badly he wanted to have the satisfaction of feeling the guy's nose break behind his fist. Every single hit that would be landed would drain away sections of his anger and replace it with satisfaction of knowing that he inflicted that pain.

But he couldn't do it and keep a clean conscience and not see any sort of consequences.

He knew that, she knew that.

He was glad that she knew that.

Kendall relaxed and Riley hesitantly dropped her arm away. One look at her face and he could see the relief in her eyes, knowing that he had made the right decision. He gave her a fleeting smile before nodding his head in the opposite direction, towards their friends. "C'mon guys, let's go." He grabbed her coat and pulled back her chair so she could stand up. Handing over her coat, he started to walk away.

However, the guy wasn't through with Kendall yet.

"What with your Dad being gone, your Mom must be pretty lonely. And your mom's kinda hot, maybe I could go over there one day and-"

Kendall whirled around, and threw his first forward, hitting the guy in the face. He moved to hit him again, but he didn't get the chance. With a scream and a flying leap, Carlos got there first. It didn't register with anyone else, that he was wailing on the guy, fists flying, until about twenty seconds later.

"Carlos, no!"

"Carlos!"

"Oh my god!"

Kendall moved forward to try and grab Carlos by the arms and pull him away. But the guy had managed to flip the two of them over and was now attacking Carlos just as hard as Carlos was attacking him. There was screaming, shouting, grunts of pain and fury all amidst the chaos.

That's how Kendall would describe it.

Complete and utter chaos.

* * *

"What time's the flight?" Mrs. Knight picked up a mug of coffee and passed it across the kitchen table to Ronan, who took it gratefully before adding cream and sugar. She slid down into her own seat, looking at the swirls and knots of wood in the table top. "We should be getting to bed soon."

"Not until about noon," Ronan said. He stirred his coffee. "Should be plenty of time for them to sleep after today's events." He pushed back his chair and stretched out his long legs, crossing them at the ankle. He could hear the sounds of light snoring coming from the living room mixed in with a sudden burst of a snore. Mrs. Knight jumped at the sound and looked at Ronan with wide eyes. "Relax, Kace, Patrick always snores like that."

"Like a dump truck?" She laughed quietly.

"That's what we used to describe it," Ronan agreed.

"It's so weird…if something like this happened before…about two years ago, they'd be up all night worrying about everything," Mrs. Knight said quietly. "The guys would be. They'd be afraid for the Jacksons, I know that for sure. Wondering what it would have done to them, the backlash of it all…they really have gotten better of the past couple of years."

"You have the boys to thank for that," Ronan reminded her. "They really are some great guys." He gave her a warm smile. "You've raised them well."

"Have I?" Mrs. Knight looked skeptical.

She was only supposed to bring them out to LA and watch over them as they tried to get their demos picked up. Being Kendall's and Katie's mother was hard enough, though they rarely ever fought they were always up to something and keeping tabs of that was exhausting. Add in James, Logan, and Carlos and things were really hectic. She quickly fell into the role of their surrogate mom while out in LA and got to know them more than their own parents probably did. However, she was never sure if she was doing things right. Raising a bunch of teenagers in LA rather than Minnesota was different. Even more so than she originally thought it would be. Instead of only worrying about their dietary needs, getting their homework done, and hoping they made the right decision she had to deal with their schedules, make sure they weren't getting sick or they would be able to perform, and constantly check websites and reviews to see what sort of damage control needed to be fixed from their antics. (Not to mention how much money she needed to spend to fix everything they broke around the PalmWoods and Rocque Records).

"Yes, Kacy, you have," Ronan reassured her. "No matter how good of a parent you are, you're not going to be able to anticipate every single thing your kids do. You're not going to be able to nip everything in the bud before it happens." He stopped stirring his coffee and took a long sip of it, as if he was trying to figure out what to say next. "But still…" He drummed his fingers on the side of the ceramic mug, noticing the 'Happy Mother's Day, Mommy' misspelled in Katie's scrawling, three year old handwriting. "Carlos beating someone up?"

He still couldn't believe it.

Over a hockey game made sense, your adrenaline was running and a good hit was what made the game fun. Carlos was the sweet one, the one that was the least likely to resort to violence, it was a shock to everyone when he had heard what the Duluth player was saying to Kendall. He had just been going over to ask if Kendall and Riley wanted to play Pictionary with them when he heard it all. Something snapped, his wanting to protect Kendall maybe, and he started to beat up the guy. It was a good thing that Carlos's father was a cop or things could have ended very differently.

"I get that he was just trying to help Kendall," Ronan said slowly, his eyebrows rising earnestly. "But he could get an assault charge placed on him."

"Then it's a good thing that we're going back tomorrow," Mrs. Knight said with a shake of her head. She sighed, watching as their kids soundly slept in a large group on the floor. Just like the tradition of having dinner at the crib every Friday night, the day before Big Time Rush or the DarkElements or both were leaving, whether to go off on tour or if the Jacksons were going to work on their band in Australia, or they were doing appearances, they all gathered together and slept in one room the night before getting their flight or getting on the bus. It was another thing that signified their friendships with each other. Facing Ronan, Mrs. Knight saw the inquisitive look in his eyes. "I don't think that Minnesota is good for them anymore. I don't think that we can ever come back here."

* * *

**A/N: **Going back to LA in next chapter, who knows what's gonna happen with Kevin around. I couldn't decide until now, but next chapter is either gonna start going back and forth from Kendall's and Riley's POVs or have it be like _Playing With Fire _where it had Kendall's, Katie's, Mrs. Knight's, and Riley's. Haven't done Kendall/Patrick bonding, so what'd you think? And for those wondering, Kendall and Riley are going to get together soon, so don't worry. This isn't the end with Paul and Carlos and Logan have their arcs coming up.

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	11. Tough Decisions and Sleep Disorders

**.:Chapter 11:.**

* * *

_Scorpio would prefer you to intuitively understand their complex emotions rather than having to break it down for you. Insomnia may also be an issue as Virgos find it difficult to switch off their nervous tension._

* * *

Kendall stared at the ceiling of his room in the PalmWoods, one arm behind his head, the other lying on his chest under a bag of ice. It was still swollen from punching the guy in the face and that had happened days ago. His mother was disappointed in him, Carlos was possibly in trouble, and it was more than likely to get out into the news, but he would do it all again if he had the chance.

_"What with your Dad being gone, your Mom must be pretty lonely. And your mom's kinda hot, maybe I could go over there one day and-"_

_Kendall whirled around, and threw his first forward, hitting the guy in the face. He moved to hit him again, but he didn't get the chance. With a scream and a flying leap, Carlos got there first. It didn't register with anyone else, that he was wailing on the guy, fists flying, until about twenty seconds later._

_"Carlos, no!"_

_"Carlos!"_

_"Oh my god!"_

_Kendall moved forward to try and grab Carlos by the arms and pull him away. But the guy had managed to flip the two of them over and was now attacking Carlos just as hard as Carlos was attacking him. There was screaming, shouting, grunts of pain and fury all amidst the chaos._

_That's how he would describe it._

_Complete and utter chaos._

Yeah, he would do it all over again. It wasn't for the comment that he made about his dad, it was about his Mom that he couldn't stand having the comment made. When he tried to explain it to his Mom, she wouldn't hear it, she just gave him some ice and sent him and the others off to bed so they could make their flight back to Minnesota. Kendall moved his hand out from under the ice to look it over, the swelling was almost completely gone, and he probably wouldn't need it after that day.

Kendall sighed, thinking about their flight from Minnesota. Everyone was really quiet, much quieter than usual. His Mom and Ronan talked quietly with each other and would stop whenever one of the kids came by. The Jacksons just listened to music on their mp3 players, Katie fiddled with their phones, and everyone else just did what they were doing. Kendall tried his hardest to talk to Riley about what happened, but she just turned up the music on her mp3 player each time he did so. Finally, when they had gone to get something to eat, he grabbed her arm and pulled her aside.

"Yes?" She pulled her ear buds out of her ears, giving him a critical look.

"C'mon, don't be like that," Kendall said. Seeing her eyes narrow, he immediately knew that he had chosen the wrong words to try and reason with her. He sighed and waited for her reaction before he continued.

"Don't be like what?" She tilted her head to the side. "Oh, yeah, don't be a little…what's the right word?" She pressed a finger to her chin, pretending to think about it. "Disappointed? Yeah, that's it."

Kendall gritted his teeth for a moment. "Please, just try to understand," he said. He started to raise his hands to his face. "I just…I couldn't stand there and let him talk like that. I needed to find a way to shut him up."

"I understand that part, remember?" Riley turned away from him, watching as a couple of young guys raced by them, trying to pull on their shoes as they went. They were probably late for a flight. "When I practically begged you not to punch him in the face and you did it anyway."

Kendall's nostrils flared. "So what? You just wanted me to stand there and take it?"

"I didn't say that." Riley's head snapped back towards him and she pointed a finger in his face. "Don't put words in my mouth, Kendall. I'm just saying that there are better ways to deal with moments like that instead of-"

"That's a joke!" Kendall interrupted. "Considering you're the person that goes around, spurting out threats left and right. I can't even begin to tell you how many times that you're threatened to punch me in the face." He held out his arms. "I'm still waiting for that to happen."

If looks could kill, Kendall would have had a concrete block fall on his head and crush his skull in that moment. Riley sucked in a deep breath before squaring her feet on the ground. "Way to go and throw that back in my face, especially after I told you that I've been trying to change that!" Her upper lip curled. "What's the point of trying if everyone is just going to throwing it in your face as if you haven't changed at all?"

"For kicks?" Kendall shrugged. "Considering that's what you're doing too."

Riley raised an eyebrow. "I don't think that me saying that you punching the guy in the face being a bad idea is remotely the same to you saying that I have anger issues."

Kendall started to retort but cut himself off. This wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to be able to talk to his best friend and to have her understand everything that he had been feeling as she was somehow able to do. Maybe it was the fact that he knew something about her and her family that she didn't know and it was starting to get to him? Maybe it was the stress of wondering what was going to happen to Carlos since he beat up the guy. Maybe it was knowing that he was probably going to have to see his father again whether he wanted to or not. Either way, he was already tired of the conversation.

"I don't want to fight about this," he said, rubbing his hands over his face.

"Fine." Riley crossed her arms.

"Fine."

He looked at his feet, not sure what to say then. That unnerved him too; he was never at a loss for words around her, not that he could remember anyway. At the prom…well that was another story and something he didn't want to dwell on, especially considering that it also had to do with another girl and that was messy in itself.

"For the record," Riley said. Kendall looked at her. She slowly dropped her arms and raised and lowered her right shoulder before sticking her hands in her back pockets. A smirk slowly slid onto her face. "You have a really good right hook."

Kendall smiled back at her. He felt his anxiety rush out of him. "Don't let Mom hear you say that," he warned. "So…we're ok?" He wanted to make sure.

Riley looked surprised. "Of course, Hockey-Head." She reached out and lightly punched him on the shoulder. "God knows your head would blow up if I didn't give you attention for a couple of minutes." She rolled her eyes. "It'd explain why you got so jealous over Carlos with the whole kiss cam thing and with James in the car…" She nodded a little. "It's ok, I know I'm awesome."

"And you're not modest, I know that too," Kendall replied.

And that was that. They argued a lot and they made up a lot. Sometimes he wondered why she even bothered to continue hanging out with him if the two of them knew that there was a really good chance that they were just going to end up in an argument. Thankfully it didn't get to the point where he was sure that she didn't want to ever be his friends again. He didn't think that he'd be able to handle that. Not again.

_If you're able to make up with her so easily, why can't you make up with your Dad?_

The thought slammed into his head, making him suck in a sharp breath. Where did _that_ come from? He hadn't thought about that in a long time. When he was a kid, maybe. Now he could barely think about his dad without immediately being put in a bad mood. And everyone saw what happened the last time he was brought up. Being in the same room with him was probably not going to help.

_Maybe it's time for you to let bygones be bygones._

"Logan!" Kendall turned onto his side, ignoring the pain that slammed into his hand as he rolled over onto it.

Logan snored loudly before his lips defaulted back into a smile. Kendall looked at him funny. Out of all of the things that you could do when you were asleep and Logan chose to smile? Kendall, at first, didn't want to room with Logan for that reason alone when they first moved into the PalmWoods. But having to decide between that, James's crazy night routines, and Carlos's singing in his sleep, he preferred Logan out of the three. Besides, he could talk to Logan at all hours of the night if he had to and while he knew that Logan thought the value of getting eight hours of sleep a night was important (he had once gone to the lengths of blocking off his bed) Logan would forgive him to talk about this.

"Logan!" Kendall got out of his bed and walked over to Logan's. He peered down at him. "Logaine." Logan turned onto his other side. "Oh Logie-bear." Kendall pouted when he didn't get a response. Finally, he lifted his foot and kicked Logan sharply on the back. "Logan!"

"What?!" Logan flipped around and glared at Kendall. He rubbed at his eyes. "What is it? You know that I need to get as much sleep as I can. This jet lag is killing me and I need to catch up on all of the schoolwork that we missed."

"Sorry, Logan, but I think this is a little more important than that," Kendall said, kneeling down next to Logan's bed.

Logan raised a skeptical eyebrow. When he spoke next, his voice was calm and calculated. "Nothing's more important than schoolwork."

"Logan, listen." Kendall licked his lips. "Remember how Mom was saying that Dad wanted to see me because there was something wrong with my contract or whatever?" He waved a hand, dismissing that point. "I was thinking of going to see him."

"What?" Logan's brown eyes widened.

"I know, I know." Kendall hastily cut him off. He shook his hair, blonde fringe flying. His green eyes were wild, his palms flooded, his breaths were coming quicker and shorter. "Its sounds weird. I don't want to go for me. I want to go for our friends. Dad said that Robert's taking money from them, maybe I can help somehow."

Logan's eyes returned to its normal size. He sucked his lips into his mouth and drummed his fingers for a few moments. "Um." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

Kendall frowned. "What do you mean?" _No, I don't think this is a good idea. I never wanted to see my Dad's face again aft her left us. I barely wanted to keep playing hockey after he left. I had to get a job at thirteen years old to be able to help Mom pay bills and then use my extra time to keep Katie out of trouble. Why else does it sound like I want to go?_

"I mean, Kendall, are you really going for the Jacksons?" Logan ran a hand through his hair. "Mama Knight told us not to tell them until Ronan tells them, if he ever does." Kendall shrugged and nodded. "How long do you think you can keep that from them at the same time that you're going to go see him? Why would he want to talk about them when he could talk about your contract and you?"

Kendall shrugged again.

"Honestly, Kendall, I think that you were just waiting for another time to actually express how pissed you are at him," Logan continued. "I mean, he hurt you, and then ran off, then represented the man that abused our friends. It wouldn't surprise me if you ended up assaulting him like you did the guy at the lodge."

"Jesus, can people get over that?" Kendall clenched his jaw, his temple throbbing.

"Not when Carlos could possibly get an assault charge on him," Logan reminded him.

Kendall buried his face in his hands. That's what he did want. He could handle having an assault charge on himself; he had a reason to punch the guy in the face. Carlos didn't, even though he was trying to protect Kendall. But he could fix it; he was always able to help his friends whenever they were stuck in some sort of a jam. _Maybe Dad can be Carlos's lawyer too. At this rate, he's going to become everyone's lawyers. _

"I can handle that," Kendall reassured him. "I can fix it. Who would I be if I couldn't fix something that was going on with my friends?" He flashed a charming smile before running a hand through his hair. _What if I can't fix this one? _"Don't worry about me." He patted Logan on the shoulder. "Go back to sleep, I just wanted your opinion."

Logan held his gaze for a long time. "If you're sure." He rolled over onto his other side, pulling his blankets up over his head.

Kendall stood up, backing away from Logan's bed. _I'm not. _Kendall turned on his heel and quietly opened the bedroom door. He stuck his head out, making sure that James and Carlos were still asleep. Their door was closed and he could hear them breathing heavily. He tiptoed past his Mom's and Katie's room and went into the sitting area of the crib. He found his Mom sitting at the table, reading the newspaper, like he knew she would be. She was never able to finish the one from the day before so she spent time after the others had gone to sleep-as per her curfew-for some time to herself.

"Mom," Kendall said slowly. Mrs. Knight moved her hair out of her face and waited to hear what her son had to say. "I'm sorry for yelling at you while we were in Minnesota." He wrung his hands together. "I was just…"

"Don't worry about it, sweetie, I know it took you by surprise and-"

"It wasn't fair to you, though." Kendall sat down in the chair next to her. He bit his lower lip, he felt a strange pinch behind his eyes and he sniffed loudly. "I just…I don't know, seeing him again, the thought of it is weird. But now that he says that Robert may be taking money from my friends…" he clenched his hands into fists and slammed them on the table, causing Mrs. Knight to jump. "I can't take it. It's so fucking wrong and stupid and-"

"Honey, honey." Mrs. Knight reached out and cupped Kendall's face in his hands. "I know this is upsetting you, but you need to keep a calm head about this. You're such a passionate person and you want to help everyone, but you can't. Not all the time."

"I can help them with this," Kendall said, desperately, closing his eyes.

Mrs. Knight gently smiled at him, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. She didn't speak until Kendall opened his eyes again. "You help your friends all the time. You helped them get rid of Robert, if anything, let them help themselves this time. Ronan'll tell them when the time is right."

Kendall bowed his head. "But what if-"

"Kendall," Mrs. Knight got his attention again. "If you want to go see your father, you have to do it on your own merit. For you. Or for your job if you want to think of it that way." She dropped her arms, waiting for him to respond. Kendall pulled his phone from his pocket, fiddling with it

"I think…I need to go see Dad."

* * *

Riley picked up a slice of bread with her left hand and used her right to stick a knife in the plastic tub containing butter. She haphazardly pulled it out and slapped it onto the bread, shifting her wrist back and forth, her speed increasing as she spread the butter. Once that was finished, she set the knife down and started to assemble the sandwich, grabbing lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese and dropped it onto the sandwich. Once that one was finished, she set it on a plate and pushed it aside to start another one.

"Are you okay?"

Riley glanced over her shoulder to look at Rhuben as she slowly entered the kitchen, studying her sister's movements. Riley noticed a look of recognition fall over Rhuben's face and she increased her speed so that she was standing by her sister in a second, leaning against the counter. She peered over Riley's shoulder, trying to see what her speedy twin was doing. Her eyebrows rose when she noticed the amount of sandwiches that were sitting in front of her.

"Just fine," Riley said with a chirp in her voice. She flashed her sister a smile before turning her attention to the loaf of bread in front of her. She concentrated, watching, a bit detached, as her hands flipped another piece of bread, coating it in mayonnaise.

"Are you sure?" Rhuben pressed. She looked over the counter and then turned, her eyes widening when she caught sight of the kitchen table.

"Yeah why'd you ask?" Riley felt great, actually.

Being back from Minnesota made her feel a lot less confined, which was strange, considering she usually hated the tight grip that LA had over her. She hated being under everyone's watchful eye, she hated the media following her whenever they got the chance. She was used to it, but that didn't mean that she had to particularly enjoy it. Minnesota made her feel weird, there wasn't much there, she wasn't used to being able to go around without anyone asking for her autograph or just wanting to talk to her. Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James had to get used to not being able to go anywhere without fans finding them. Even on the slopes they were stopped.

Riley's hand dropped to the counter, her eyebrows knitting together. She couldn't believe after telling him how bad an idea it was, Kendall had gone and punched the guy anyway. She also couldn't believe that Carlos had attacked the guy as well. _Things aren't going to get better. If Kendall can't control himself around people saying stuff like that, he's just going to get into more trouble._

"You've made thirty-six ham sandwiches…" Rhuben's voice wafted softly to Riley's ears.

Riley was instantly annoyed and on the defense. "So, I figured I would make lunch for—" Riley didn't get a chance to finish the sentence before Rhuben snorted.

"Africa?" she said dryly.

Riley slapped the knife down onto the counter. "Fine." She turned to her sister, her lips pressed together. "I'll go do something else if I'm bothering you." She ran a hand through her hair before starting to pack up the condiments and loaf of bread. That was something to do; she wouldn't get snapped at for that.

Rhuben raised an eyebrow, resting her hand on the counter and leaned her weight against it. She propped her right hand on her hip. "How long have you been awake…" she asked.

Riley's eyes shifted for a moment. "About four days," she finally said. "Since we got back from Minnesota."

Rhuben breathed through her nose for a moment. Riley knew what that meant; it was something that she did whenever she was trying to think of what to say, something she herself never did. Every time she felt something she had to express it. It was one of her bad habits, but it was something that she didn't think that she would change about herself. Though it did bring her some comments about having a bad attitude and being a jerk, something that Rhuben barely got. Sometimes it got on her nerves how often she and Rhuben were compared to each other; who was the evil twin? Who was the nice twin? Who was smarter? Who got better grades? Who was the oldest? Why wasn't Riley as good a dancer as Rhuben? Why didn't Rhuben talk as much as Riley? They got through it all, making fun of the comments and questions that they got each time they were stopped by people. (They got stopped more for being twins than for being in a band). But there were always a few things that would get to them at times.

_Thankfully she doesn't have to go through this. If anyone else found out…I wouldn't want it to blow p like with what happened with Demi. _Riley thought. She started to rub her arm, waiting to hear what Rhuben had to say. She didn't really have to wait; she had a feeling what Rhuben was going to say. It was hard to explain, but if you were a twin, or just a Jackson in general, they always had a feeling where they could feel what one of the others were feeling of thinking without having to ask.

"That's not healthy," Rhuben finally said.

"You're telling me." Riley snorted. "I haven't been able to sleep and nothing I do has been able to help." She ran a hand through her hair. "Normally I would be conked out after reading with Noah all night, but for the past couple of days he's been falling asleep before I even yawn." She sighed, looking at her feet. "Having insomnia really, _fucking _sucks! And I didn't notice until now."

Rhuben crossed her arms over her chest, slowly smiling. "I know what'll make you tired." She glanced around the kitchen. "But we should probably clean this up before we go."

Riley looked around and laughed as well. "Yeah, you're probably right. Not even this many sandwiches could quell Patrick's hunger. He'd eat everything and _still_ be hungry." She shook her head, giving a fond smile. "The boofhead." Walking over to the trashcan, Riley brought her hair back in a ponytail and tied it up with a red scrunchie. She glanced at the bruise that was on her wrist, one of the many from falling so much while snowboarding.

_Kendall started to move forward, wanting to leap out of the chair and throttle him, but Riley slipped her hand over his wrist and held onto it tightly. He tried to pull his hand away; she tightened her grip, holding him in place. "Don't," she said under her breath. Kendall made a sound of frustration as he glared at the guy standing in front of him. "Seriously, don't."_

_"I want to hit him so bad, it's not even funny," Kendall practically whispered._

_"I know you do," Riley said. "Trust me. I do." She shook her head. "Every time someone says something bad about my family, I want to knock their fucking teeth out. But you have to think about whether or not it's in your best interest to go with that impulse."_

_"I don't want to hear it," Kendall said. He yanked his arm back, pulling Riley with him. "Riles, let go!"_

_"I know it's not what you want to hear, but you do need to hear it," Riley continued. She dug her fingernails into his wrist, making sure she had his attention. "Do you want the backlash? Not only from your fans but from your Mom and Katie? You think, at the moment, that punching this guy is exactly what you want-"_

_"It __is__!" Kendall insisted. "I want to wipe that smug look off of his face so badly it's not even funny."_

_"But in the end, you're going to regret it. I have. Many times." She motioned over to the guy. "If you punch him, I swear to god that you're going to regret it. Maybe not now, but later, you definitely will. And I don't want that for you. You're better than that." She licked her lips. "Don't be like me."_

Riley shook her head, trying not to dwell on what happened. Yeah, she was disappointed, more than she thought she would be. She didn't want to see him fall down in the same path she did. However…it proved to her that through all of the research that she had done on him and the others guys, through everything that he had told her, there was still a lot of things that she didn't know about him. She barely caught a glance of what his breaking point was. The subject of his father was touchy, but she had never seen him beat someone up over it before. It wasn't like a hockey fight; she had seen plenty of those before on TV and in real life, everything that Kendall had put into the punch was all of the hurt that he felt towards his father.

And she didn't understand that.

She understood him, she didn't understand that.

Pushing the thoughts away, Riley turned her attention back to cleaning up the kitchen. Once that was finished, she went upstairs to her room to get her phone and wallet, under Rhuben's orders. Coming back downstairs, she found her brothers and sister by the front door, all in their bathing suits.

Rhuben spoke up when Riley reached the bottom step. "So, we know that when you can't sleep, the best thing to do is find something that'll tire you out," She said. "And we also know that when you're having trouble sleeping, you can get moody."

"So, what other place do we like to go to that can put a bright smile on your face other than the beach?" Patrick grinned. He opened the closet door and handed Riley her short board. "We haven't been able to go the whole time that we've been in Minnesota and I know it's been driving you crazy, Ri-bread."

Riley smiled as she took her surfboard, her hands moving over the glossy surface. It was one of the ones she got to customize herself. Of course, it was covered in red and black as they were favorite and signature colors. But there were flames running up the top of the board as well, her signature symbol that represented herself as well as her part of the band. The scent of the coconut wax filled her nose.

"We know that having insomnia…it being a part of your bipolar disorder isn't easy," Noah added. "That's why I wanted to talk to you when were where there. You were hallucinating, right?"

Riley closed her eyes, thinking back to when she was talking to Reed. It happened so often when she went days without sleep. Time blended in together and she could barely keep heads or tails of what was happening around her. She would rather let her frustration and emotions get the better of her than have to go through the experiences when she didn't sleep. She was glad that Noah had been there to talk to her, to help her through that in the subtle comforting way that he did. She didn't hang out with him as much as Rhuben, Patrick, or Sydney but she was still glad to have special things with him. Just talking or else they read together. Every month they picked a new book to read and would convene into one room and read out loud to each other until one of them got tired.

It was more comforting to her than it was to him, though they had done it a long time. Bipolar…the diagnosis had scared her so badly when she first heard of it, but it offered a lot of clarity too. It explained everything, every thought that she couldn't understand when she was growing up. It affected her daily, but her brothers and sister were always there to help her through it whenever they could.

"You know I don't like to bother you guys with this stuff," She said, finally pulling her surfboard from her face.

"It's not a bother," Sydney reminded her. He smiled up at her, his dimples appearing in his cheeks. "It's a good excuse to go to the beach and hit the waves."

The Jacksons laughed and Riley ran a hand through his hair before giving him a kiss on the forehead. "Thanks, Little Man." She turned to Rhuben, there were a lot of things that she wanted to say but didn't have to. Their, what they called twinstincs, always kicked in during moments like this. "Thanks, Sis."

"You're welcome, Sis." Rhuben replied. She grabbed her keys off of the hook by the door and the five siblings hurried out of the house and to the minivan. They piled their surfboards into the back of the car and headed out to the beach.

Riley smiled as the ocean came into view a while later. She felt the most at home around water, which was ironic as she was afraid of deep water, but risked it as long as she was lying on a surfboard. It reminded her of Australia and everything good that was waiting for her there. Her mood immediately lifted as she stepped out of the car. She closed her eyes, breathing in the salt air and the scent of sea foam against the shore.

"C'mon, don't just look at it!" Patrick handed Riley her surfboard before grabbing her hand and the two ran down the boardwalk and onto the beach. Once they reached the sand, Patrick dropped her hand and quickly pulled off his shirt and started to rub wax onto his board.

Riley walked over to the edge of the water. The tide gently lapped against her feet, the sea foam tickling her toes. The crisp water soothed her raising her spirits. The surface of the ocean was calm, gently releasing waves that rose and fell racing towards the shore where it gracefully deflected sunlight like mirror fragments. She heard Sydney laugh and turned in time to get hit with a spray of water that he kicked at her. Riley laughed as well and splashed water back at him. The five siblings broke out into a water fight, laughing and shrieking as it cast up into their faces, cooling their sun-warmed skin.

They returned to the beach and grabbed their surfboards, lying flat on their stomachs and heading out into the water. Riley pushed her hands through the water, forming a cup that pushed the droplets back behind her. A wave came towards them and simultaneously, the Jacksons pressed their right knee to the board, pushing the rails down so that the nose dived under. Following the movement with their bodies, they ducked underwater and popped out on the other side of the wave, all grinning at the fun that was about to be had.

"You go first, Ri," Noah suggested. He pulled himself up into a sitting position and crossed his arms. He flashed her a warm smile.

"You guys being this nice is gonna make my head swell," Riley remarked.

"Not any bigger than it already is," Rhuben said.

"If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask you to fill out the necessary forms." Riley laughed and lay down on her stomach, paddling towards a wave that came her way. When she passed Rhuben, she reached out a hand and flicked water up into her face before continuing. Approaching the wave, she stuck her left arm in the water, propelling herself around in a circle so that she was facing the beach. She started to paddle again and when she felt the wave started to pick her up, she started kicking her legs, helping to pick up speed.

She leapt to her face and went screaming down the face of the wave. Riley's body undulated along with the movement of the wave, bringing her surfboard up and down along with the movement of her knees. Reaching the bottom of the wave, she turned both of her arms to the left and then snapped them back to the right as she pulled her legs up. The wax kept her board to her feet and she jumped off of the wave, spinning in a full circle. She landed back on the water and shot towards the top of the wave, riding on top of the foam that crested over itself.

The wave disappeared under her and she quickly dropped herself back onto her stomach, paddling back to her brothers and sister, who were cheering for her. She went to the end of the lineup and sat up, waiting as Rhuben took her turn.

The Jacksons stayed at the beach until the sun slowly started to sink towards the horizon line, reminding them that time was endless and it moved on even when they didn't want it to. They returned to the shore, congratulating each other on a great day of surfing, each wanting to impress each other as they went. "We should bring Ronan with us the next time we go out," Sydney said, wrapping his towel around his head and shoulders.

"You know that Ronan is one of the only people that were born in raised in LaLa Land that doesn't surf," Rhuben reminded him.

"So? It'll be funny," Patrick said. He grinned, his eyes shining behind his tinted sunglasses. "Watching him face plant the whole time. He'll be as red as a lobster in a matter of minutes?"

"And you find that funny?" Riley gave him a funny look, wringing out her wet hair.

"Hysterical." He reached out and tweaked her nose. She batted his hand away and slapped him in the stomach with her palm. "Ouch."

"Hook shot!" Riley and Rhuben shouted in unison before high-fiving. The siblings laughed and Riley reached over when she heard her text tone go off. She dried off her hands with a towel and plunged her left hand into her bag. She caught sight of the tiny star tattoo on her hand remembering when she, Rhuben, and Logan had all gone and got the matching tattoo. It was funny to see how nervous he was about it, not one to take risks. He had really changed since then. _All of us have. _She frowned. _Maybe not all for the better._

Riley pulled her phone out and glanced at the text that she received from Kendall. "Whatever's wrong with Hockey-Head this time, he really needs me to go over to the crib."

"Well, what's wrong?" Patrick ran a hand over his face. "Is he ok? Are the others Ok?" The worry was palpable, they always worried about the boys whenever bad news was concerned. Even if it was about one of the guys, they were worried for them all, understanding how easily they brought each other into their problems.

"I have no idea," Riley murmured. She bent down and tucked her surfboard under her arm. "But I gotta go."

* * *

Kendall paced back and forth, glancing at the door to the crib every few seconds. He looked at his watch and then rubbed his sweaty palms on the sides of his shorts before starting to pace again. Maybe he shouldn't have done that. Maybe it was better if he waited for them to find out themselves. Why did he always have to go and try to fix everyone else's problems? Why did he have to be the person that would take the lead and make sure that none of his friends were hurt?

_Because of Dad leaving, that's why. You know that's why. You want to be sure that no one else will hurt as badly as you were. That's why you helped the Jacksons in the first place. That's why you're always willing to go the extra mile to help your friends whenever they're in a jam._

Kendall clenched his hands into fists, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. He had no idea what he was feeling at the moment, he was so conflicted. What would happen if they did find out? Would they be mad at him for waiting so long to say something? Be mad at his Mom? At Ronan?

He wished things were easier. Unfortunately, life didn't work that way.

Kendall turned at the sound of the door to the crib opening. "Honey, I'm home," Riley said as she closed the door behind her. She turned around to face Kendall, adjusting her grip on her surfboard. "I hope you weren't waiting long, the line at the checkout counter was unbelievable."

"I hope the kids didn't bother you," Kendall said, immediately falling into the joke. "I think Leslie was coming down with a cold."

Riley raised an eyebrow. "Leslie?" She tilted her head to the side. "You'd name your daughter Leslie?"

"You're more worried about what I would name my kid as opposed to us joking that we have some?" Kendall smiled at her. "Thanks for coming by. I would've met you at the pool if I knew that you were out surfing."

"No worries." Riley waved a hand. "It didn't take long to get here, so whatever. Besides, I needed my daily fix of listening to you whine about something." She smirked at him. "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."

Kendall laughed. "You know, your extreme sarcasm is starting to drive me crazy," Kendall remarked. "Like, to the point where it's debatable that you actually like me or if you completely hate my existence."

"A bit of both," Riley replied. She gently laid her surfboard against the wall by the front door. "It really depends on my mood." She turned around, hugging her arms to her chest. Kendall smiled at her and she smiled back at him. His gaze dropped to her crossed arms.

"Are you cold?"

"No."

Kendall raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Yes, you are." He held up his index finger, indicating for her to wait for a minute. He disappeared around the corner for a moment then reappeared with a black sweatshirt in his hands. He opened it for her to read the front, the name of his former high school, and tossed it to her. Riley grabbed it and pulled it over her head. She went over to the kitchen table and sat down, brushing her damp hair over her shoulders.

"What's up? Your text seemed kinda cryptic." She rested her cheek in her hand, looking up at him.

"Yeah…" Kendall rubbed the back of his neck. He turned his back on her, starting to pace. He crossed his arms over his chest, chewing his lower lip. A pressure started to build in his chest, his heart increased its palpitations, making him feel sicker by the second. "Ok, it's like this! Mom went to go see Dad recently because apparently there's something wrong with my contract. I think Griffin isn't paying us as much as he should or something, considering that he's the CEO of RCM-CBT-Global Net-Sanyoid and Rocque Records is sitting under that and we're endorsing their products he kinda has a hold over us too."

"I seriously doubt that's the only thing that's making you crazier than you usually are," Riley said. She raised an eyebrow and motioned towards her mouth. "Nails." She ran a hand through her hair.

Kendall brought his hand away from his face. He didn't notice that he had started to chew on his fingernails. It was a bad habit that he had thought he'd broken but every time he worried or got nervous, he was picking nail bits out of his teeth.

"And there's something else that's bugging me. When we were in Minnesota Dad called my Mom to tell them that, but there was something else too. Yeah, we all know that Dad was Robert's lawyer, but apparently, by association, he's technically your guys' lawyer too. And he found out that Robert has been taking money from you guys. But not just from you guys, from your parents, the inheritance that you're supposed to get when you turn twenty-one. I didn't know about it until recently and I know that you're probably pissed that I waited so long to tell you, when I could have since we got back. I could have even told you in the airport when you told me that you were disappointed that I punched the guy. I mean, if you trusted me enough to tell me that, I should be able to tell you what's going on that you don't know about. I just hope that you don't get too upset and can understand why I waited so long to say something…"

Kendall held his breath, waiting for her to blow up, to start screaming at him, to yell, or maybe even cry. Anything. "Riley?" Getting no response, he turned around. "Riles?

Riley was leaning over the table, her head resting on her arms. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing softly. Kendall called her name again then smiled. He walked over to the linen closet and opened the door. Grabbing a large blue blanket, he pushed the door shut with his foot and walked back over to Riley. He carefully moved her hair off of her shoulders before unfolding the blanket.

Kendall leaned over her and draped the blanket around her shoulders. Gently grabbing her arms, he extended them before kneeling down on the floor next to her chair. He maneuvered her onto his back and lifted her up, being careful not to drop her. Riley turned her head, resting her cheek on his shoulder. She let out a sigh, her breath tickling his neck, sending shivers down his spine. Kendall quietly walked to his room and nudged open the door with his knee. Glancing at Logan to be sure that he wasn't waking up, he moved over to his bed and pulled the covers back. Bending his knees, Kendall gently laid Riley down on the mattress. He pulled off her shoes and socks then covered her with the blanket once more, tucking her in.

"Good night, Riles." He smiled down at her before leaving the room. He took one last glance over at Riley, noticing how she slept peacefully, before closing the door behind him. He went over to the linen closet and grabbed another blanket.

Opening it up, he went over to the couch and stretched out onto it. He closed his eyes, falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

**A/N: **So, this is the first story that I have it where the rest of the Jacksons try to help Riley. We're working out whether or not it's something that'll happen towards the end of season 3 and into season 4 or just a season 4 thing, so I'm trying it here and you'll see more as the story goes on. What'd you think?

Also, Jo, Camille, and Stephanie are coming back into the story again soon and to _therush _you will see more of Kendall bonding with all five Jacksons.

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	12. Best Friends and Families

**.:Chapter 12:.**

* * *

_How a Scorpio deals with family drama: They can offer a protective shield for those who are more vulnerable in times of conflict._

* * *

"Could you pass me the orange juice?"

Kendall waited, trying not to let his annoyance appear on his face as Katie ignored him, continuing to eat her breakfast. She barely even glanced at him; she just shifted her body to the side, resting her cheek in her hand. She shoved another scoop of eggs into her mouth and continued to chew, even when Kendall called her name once more. Kendall sighed and looked at Carlos, whose eyes were darting back and forth between the two siblings. Carlos locked eyes with Kendall and Kendall raised his eyebrows, slightly raising his chin.

Carlos continued to look around the table as he reached forward and grabbed the pitcher of orange juice. He handed t over to Kendall and sat back, locking eyes with James as he did so. James shrugged. Logan made a coughing sound, anything that would offset the crippling silence. Normally, Mrs. Knight would be washing the dishes that she had used to make breakfast, but she had ducked out to go to the gym as soon as the plates were passed out that morning.

She wouldn't have allowed there to be a quiet breakfast, no matter how often she would complain that they could never 'eat in peace'. She also wouldn't have allowed Kendall and Katie to be fighting. They two barely ever fought in the first place and when they did, they did, it was over in a matter of minutes, if not a matter of hours. They couldn't stay mad for too long, especially considering Katie normally helped Kendall out of whatever problem he was stuck in. She was that good, always had a sense of street smarts that he couldn't understand how she knew, and being able to get anything she ever needed to have it work. What other fifteen year old girl could tase four, large security guards into unconsciousness? He still wasn't sure how she was even able to get her hands on those tasers.

She had never really been one that particularly _needed_ her big brother, but he always liked to know that he was an option for her. Now that she wasn't talking to him…it was as bad as if one of his best friends didn't want to be around him. He liked having people want to be around him, his magnetic personality did that easily for him, so much so that it sort of bothered him when people didn't like him. Especially when it was his own fault. He knew that there wasn't much that he could do to fix things until she calmed down and showed that she was willing to talk.

Kendall poured himself the glass of orange juice and started to stab at his food, his appetite gone. _Maybe going to Minnesota was a bad idea. Maybe James should have gone himself. _Kendall closed his eyes, thinking back to their last morning in Minnesota.

Katie had let out an annoyed sigh, watching as her light purple bed sheet gently floated back to the mattress, curing at the corners. She grabbed the sheet and walked around her bed, stretching it as she went. If she had to fix this stupid sheet one more time...With a jerk of her arm, she pulled the end of the sheet out from its tucked position at the end of the mattress.

"Ugh!" Katie tilted her head back and let out a howl of frustration towards the ceiling.

"It's just a sheet, Baby Sister, it's not trying to kill you," Kendall said as he entered the room. He crossed the room and grabbed onto the other end of the sheet. Taking a few steps back, he stretched it out between him and Katie.

"Yes it is," Katie insisted. "It keeps popping out from the bottom and creasing and ruffling and…ugh."

Kendall looked at her funny. "Since when do you care so much about how your bed looks?" He crossed his right arm over his left, shaking out the wrinkles then followed her over to the bed to stretch it out over the bed. "Or is it the fact that Mom actually could rent this place out to someone that's bothering you?"

"Ha! No." Katie lifted the sheet so that it fell onto the bed. When it was in its correct place, she went to the end of the bed and started to roughly shove them in between the mattress and the bed frame. "I've been telling Mom that she needed to rent out this place for years. Now that she's finally doing it, she's starting to have a nervous breakdown." Katie gave the bed a sharp slap, turning her back to her brother. "Who else cares about how a kid's bed looks when you're renting out? If you want it to be 'home' leave everything the way it is."

Katie finished pulling her sheets up her bed and tucked them into place. She then grabbed the duvet and pulled it up, making sure it sat properly under her pillows. Once that was finished, she went over to her desk to start packing up her laptop. The distinct feeling of eyes burning holes in her back made her slowly turn and risk a glance over her shoulder. Kendall was staring at her, his arms crossed over his chest. "Do you want to take a picture?"

"You're annoyed with what happened at the lodge aren't you?"

Katie turned around, hoping to conceal what she was feeling. "How'd you get that from asking if you wanted to take a picture of me?" Kendall gave a small smile, shaking his head. Hopefully that would get him off her back for a while. "Sometimes I wonder if both you and Dad had some problems considering that you're both blonde."

"Katie…" Kendall sucked in a deep breath. "I want you to understand why what happened at the lodge happened…"

"Let me guess," Katie said. She smiled at him. "Some guy made some sort of comment about Mom and Dad or about their divorce or something and you let it get to you, again, and you punched him in the face?" She raised an eyebrow. "Is that about right?" Kendall nodded. "Yeah, that always happens, you don't have to explain anything to me."

"Katie." Kendall closed his eyes for a moment, his face twisting into a pained expression. "You really don't get it. Because you've never had to hear it as much as I have-"

Katie tilted her head back and laughed. "I haven't heard it as much as you have?" She looked at her feet for a moment, and then looked up at her brother. "Seriously? You think that? Why don't you try having a bunch of kids taunting you when you were growing up, saying that you were going to be nothing because you have no father?" She started to walk towards him. "And how about when I would sit alone during Parent's Day at school because Mom had to work and no one would come see me?"

"Katie-"

"And then there's the fact that I have to listen to Mom yell at you over and over again for _years_ saying that you shouldn't let your anger get the best of you and that you have to learn how to deal with people talking about you." Katie walked up to her brother and jabbed him in the chest. "Especially during hockey games. You have this tunnel vision that as soon as someone says something bad, you go into an all-our brawl. So if there's something that I don't understand here, it's not about the situation that you and me and Mom are in."

She turned away from her brother, crossing her arms over her chest. She closed her eyes, trying to keep the emotions from flooding through her body. Now that they were going back to Los Angeles, she was probably going to have to see her father now more than ever. She didn't want to go to back to LA if that were the case, not when she knew that her father was the Jacksons' lawyer and that she had to keep it from them until _they _knew. She heard what her mother had said to Ronan the night before; she was wide awake when she said that they probably couldn't go back to Minnesota ever again.

It wasn't her fault that they couldn't go back, why did she have to suffer from the decisions that he made. She clenched her eyes tighter, feeling the tears starting to fall. Katie hastily wiped the tears away, but she couldn't stop them from falling. Everything was crumbling down around her and she was the one that suffered from it the most.

"Katie." Katie felt Kendall's hand on her shoulder and she turned and threw her arms around his waist, pressing her face into his stomach. "Katie, I know that this is hard for you. I know that I'm not making things easy and now knowing about dad…but you can't tell the Jacksons about Dad until Ronan tells them."

"Keeping this from them…if they know we know before they know, it'll make things worse," Katie mumbled. "Kendall." She took a step back away from his stomach, glaring up at him. He blinked down at her waiting. "I don't want to be unable to come back here. I love it here. I like being able to go somewhere where I'm not watched as closely. I…sometimes I hate you for bringing us here!"

Kendall's mouth dropped open.

"If I could live on my own or live with Grandma Boots and Grandpa, then I'd choose to do that!" Katie balled her hands into fists. "I don't' care if I wouldn't have met all of our friends. I don't care if I had to have sat back and watched as you all became the biggest thing on the planet! I'm sick and tired of you _ruining_ everything!"

"Katie, I-"

"Get out!" Katie grabbed onto Kendall's arms and started to push him towards the door. "Get out! Get out!" Kendall could hear the tears in Katie's voice. He tried to get her attention, to apologize, to explain everything that he had been feeling, what really went through his mind at the lodge, how sorry he was. But she pushed him out of her room and slammed the door in his face.

Kendall jumped, looking up. He had been broken out of his thoughts by the front door really slamming. He came face to face with Gustavo, who looked like he was ready to tear their heads off. Kendall grimaced, quickly reasoning as to why he was there. They had ended up being in Minnesota longer than they had anticipated and he wasn't sure anyone had told him or Kelly when they had gotten back. _Oh boy._

"I THOUGHT I'D FIND YOU HERE!" Gustavo bellowed, stomping up to the table. Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James peered at him, looking as if they were deer caught in the headlights. Katie, who had nothing to do with the conversation, got up from her seat, picking up her plate as she went. She shot a mean look at Kendall before turning on her heel and leaving the sitting area of the crib and disappearing into hers and her mother's room. "I HAD TO HEAR FROM THE GRAPEVINE THAT YOU ALL WERE BACK! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"

"We just got a little distracted, Gustavo," Kendall said quickly.

"Yeah," James agreed. He then gave a smarmy smile. "Not everyone gets to wake up with a girl in their bed." He laughed and gave Logan a high-five and a fist bump, the smarter brunette was laughing as well. Carlos held his hands over his mouth, his laughter cut short by the change in pigmentation of Gustavo's face.

"What?!" He cried.

"It's not what you think!" Kendall said quickly. He knew how things like that could easily be misconstrued and how fast rumors could spread. With his 'good boy-bad boy' image in the band and her 'bad girl' image in general, it was bound to hurt one of their careers though in two completely different ways. He turned to James with a glare, causing James's smile to widen. "It's none of your business!" He turned back to Gustavo. "And it was an accident….not tell you that we were back."

"Was it also an accident when I had to hear that Carlos assaulted some random guy when you were snowboarding?" Gustavo threw his hands into the air. "And what did I tell you about snowboarding? You can't do that, you can't go camping, you can't go skydiving-"

"Gustavo!" Carlos cut him off. "We just wanted to have some time to blow off some steam," he explained. "And we were back home; we wanted to be able to do what we used to do before we came back here." Crossing his arms over his chest, he shrugged. "Is there a problem with that?" His eyes shifted. "Besides, we don't know if I'm actually going to be charged or not."

Kendall sucked in a sharp breath, a stabbing pain suddenly appearing behind his eyes. The thought of Carlos having to go through legal trouble…just for him…it made him sick. Carlos was the kind of person that continued to cry over his dog, Sparky 'running away' when he was a kid. He was the person that was so empathetic that he would start getting emotional when he was around babies, pregnant mothers, crying kids, puppies, and kittens. Compared to the rest of the Big Time Rush boys, it was a welcome change though at other times, it could drive them crazy.

"My dad's a cop," Carlos continued. "If anything, I'll probably get off with community service." He shrugged, examining his fingernails.

Gustavo growled under his breath, running his hands over his face. "You don't understand how damaging this can be to your reputation," he said slowly, trying to calm down. "If the media hears about it-"

"Would you be more willing to ignore the feelings of wanting to kill us if you knew that Carlos only attacked him because the guy was saying really terrible things about Kendall's family…and his dad?" Logan asked. He ignored the glare and sharp elbow in the ribs that Kendall sent his way. He was going to have to deal with other people knowing, especially if he was going to see more of Kevin soon.

Gustavo closed his mouth, not sure how to answer. He did his best to keep out of the dogs' personal business, but when it came to Kendall's family it was a bit harder than he anticipated. Especially considering everything that Kendall did with Rocque Records was directly affected by what happened with Kevin, since his father was his lawyer. Gustavo had only talked with him twice and he wasn't even sure if he even liked the guy. "Oh…" he finally managed to say. Kendall studied him, waiting to see what his ultimate reaction would be.

The four boys were surprised when Gustavo held up his hands in a calm demeanor. "Don't worry about it, then. Just…" he took a deep breath. "Come to the studio tomorrow so we can get some work done." He started to walk towards the door to the apartment but stopped and turned around. He addressed Kendall, "Uh…y'know….if you ever need to, uh, talk or whatever. I'll listen."

Kendall blinked before his eyes widened. Was Gustavo actually being _nice_ to him? _And _he was offering a shoulder to lean on when he needed it? It was official…he had finally gone berserk from all of the stress that the guys constantly put him under .That had to be the only explanation.

"So…I'm gonna…go now," Gustavo went the rest of the way to the door. "And if you tell anyone I said that, I'll kill you dogs myself."

Kendall smiled as the door closed. _That _was the Gustavo that he knew. His smile faded a second later as he turned to Carlos, who looked like he was trying to blend in with the color of the chair he was sitting on. "You didn't have to do that," Kendall murmured. "You didn't have to punch him; you didn't have to get into his mess…"

James let out an exasperated sigh, running his hands through his hair. After seemingly calming down, he gave Kendall a small smile. "Kendall, by now you'd think that you'd understand that we just want to help you," James said. He reached out and rested his hand on Kendall's shoulder. "You can't do everything yourself."

"Sure, what Carlos did was…" Logan hesitated, glancing over at the helmet clad boy. He gave a half smile at the large grin that was on Carlos's face, and turned back to the blond. "Probably really stupid," he admitted. "But even James or I would have done the same thing if we heard what was going on.

Kendall snorted.

He really didn't think that Logan would have done it. Logan would have stopped and tried to think of all of the positives and negatives before he would have even thought about it. No wonder he was the last one to jump into the fight that he had gotten into with the security guards when they first met Gustavo. _But he did jump in and help you then, no matter what the outcomes were going to be. _Kendall slowly started to smile at the fond memory; all four of them tangled up with the security guards all because they were trying to prove to Gustavo that James deserved to go to Hollywood and be a big star. _They really have been there for you, _he thought. _Maybe you should let them in more._

But he wouldn't be Kendall Knight if he wasn't the leader, wasn't the person that could hold them all together and, with hid direction, face everything head on.

Kendall smiled and looked at his friends, nodding his thanks. They smiled and nodded back then unanimously made the decision that their feel good moment was over and that they needed to get it out of their system with a game of dome hockey…which would ultimately turn into a game of real hockey. Kendall followed them over to the table, loudly claiming James as his partner.

He could handle everything…right?

* * *

Kevin turned from his city view as his phone shrilled. In four long strides, he was back at his desk, leaning over it to pick up the phone. "Yes?"

"Kevin, your wife is-"

Before his receptionist could finish, Mrs. Knight came through the door of his office, closing it firmly behind her. Kevin looked her up and down as he replaced the phone on its cradle; her hair up in a messy bun, a gray jacket, a light blue tank-top, sweatpants, and paint splattered sneakers. As was the norm when she came face to face with her-separated-husband, she had a hint of a frown on her beautiful features.

That look alone made Kevin feel like messing with her, "What could I have done to make you scowl at me already?" He sat down in his leather chair, motioning for her to sit down in one of the seats across from him. "Other than deny your divorce request?"

Mrs. Knight's eyes narrowed, unceremoniously dropping her gym bag to the floor. "The look on my face has nothing to do with you this time," she said. "Not directly anyway."

"Really? And here I thought your life revolved around me," Kevin continued. "What with making me leave my home, forcing me to find a new job, and then prodding me over and over for child support." He shrugged before bringing his finger tips together. "Otherwise, you wanted me out of your life, so…"

"That's because you were acting like a child…throwing tantrums…" Mrs. Knight shook her head. Her voice was soft, as soft as her expression had turned, when she spoke again. "This isn't about us, Kevin, this is about Kendall."

"What now?" Kevin would like to say that he was fine where he was with his son.

He had closure-if you counted being screamed at for almost an hour and no contact afterwards closure-and he was able to watch his career from afar. He had been following Kendall ever since Mrs. Knight had called to let him know that they were going to LA to try and work out James's dream. He was sincerely surprised that she decided to call as they hadn't been in contact for a while, and asked him if he would be their lawyer while they were out there. Katie had done a good job looking over the contract and letting her know if there was anything wrong with it, but she still needed someone that was going to be able to professionally handle it.

Kevin was hesitant about it but agreed to do it anyway. He wasn't married to Mrs. Knight anymore and he didn't have any custody over his kids, but they were still his kids, it wasn't like he didn't think about them. He tried pushing the thoughts away, just so he wouldn't fall into a bout of depression, wondering if he had made the right decision. So to compensate, he watched everything they did, even after the trial that he had participated in, against his kids' friends. Katie's commercial…he checked the royalties to be sure that she was being paid as much as she should be. Big Time Rush's first concert…he was at the back of the concert hall, watching the whole thing. Their tour…he watched all of the online videos, followed the scuttbutts, and even went to the show in Minnesota.

He had always been there to see his kids go up and up and up and he wasn't going to allow someone else hurt them, not after he had hurt them so badly already.

"He got into a fight with someone at the lodge," Mrs. Knight explained. She smoothed a loose strand of hair out of her face. "Actually, he punched him and then Carlos went and started to beat the stuffing out of him."

Kevin tried not to smile to himself, but he couldn't help it. He had known that Kendall had a tough spirit that was hard to break. He would do everything in his power and push as hard as he could before he gave up. He had seen his son play on the ice, pushing himself to near exhaustion and still have enough energy to take on any player that got in his face. Carlos…he had seen that kid when h was young and he had just about as much energy as Kendall, though he used it in a different, happier way. So it must have been pretty bad if Carlos had jumped into the fight.

"And what does that have to do with me?" Kevin rested his chin in his hand, intrigued. "Carlos, I mean?"

"I'm just making sure that I have all of our bases covered when it comes to the media and everything," Mrs. Knight said with a tired sigh. Kevin felt sympathy for her, it couldn't be easy to have to change her life and her job and take on a new walk of life for not only their two kids, but for three more. "The kid that was provoking him…it was a player from Duluth that has always had it out for him."

Kevin nodded. "I can understand that."

"And while he got beat up by Carlos, we're hoping that he doesn't press charges against either of them for assault. Carlos, I'm sure will be taken care of with Diego, but I want to be sure that everything works out ok," Mrs. Knight continued.

"Have you thought of sending Kendall to anger management classes?" Kevin continued to twist back and forth in his seat, keeping his eyes on his wife's. "Or emotion management classes? Because it seems to me that there might be something wrong there?" He lightly rolled his eyes, turning towards his computer when a notification caught his eye. He turned back to his wife when he heard her stand up and grab her bag. "Kace-"

"If you're not going to help me, I don't know why I wasted my time!" She snapped.

"I was _kidding_!" Kevin's upper lip curled. He could feel his temper start to flare, trying his hardest to keep it at bay. That got him in a lot of trouble before, it caused him his marriage and his kids, he was going to do his hardest not to do that again. "Geez, you can't take a fucking joke."

"Don't take that tone with me, Kevin!" Mrs. Knight snapped back. "If you're not going to help my son-"

_"Our _son!" Kevin stood up, placing his hands on the edge of his desk, digging his fingernails into it. He could feel himself started to sweat underneath his two piece suit. "He's still my son, too. Don't forget that!" His upper lip curled into a snarl as he glared at Mrs. Knight.

She glared back at him, standing her ground. He was surprised, though mildly. That was something that he fell in love with her for, that he admired her…that she was able to stand up for a lot of things. Thinking back on it, it was sad how little she would do that when they were married. They had a good marriage, then it turned sour, and she started to defend the rest of the family against him. Nothing hurt him worse than seeing the finality in her eyes when she kicked him out. He could have turned back around and promised that he'd fix himself and that he'd do better. But his pride got in the way.

His pride was getting in the way of him there as well.

"How could I?" Mrs. Knight shook her head. "The fact you haven't been around? That the child support has been slow? Or that you defended someone that was hurting his kids?" Something flashed in her eyes that he couldn't place. He used to know her face so well, know her mannerisms that he could tell what she was thinking without her having to say it. Now he was kept in the dark.

The weight of being away from his family so long had hurt him more than it had hurt them. He finally realized that.

"Last I checked, you didn't _need_ my child support after Kendall started making all of that money," Kevin said. He crossed his arms over his chest, walking around his desk towards her. _Go slow. You don't' want to scare her. _He watched her as she watched his every movement coming to her. He took a deep breath. "I'll do whatever I can for Kendall, you know that," he said under his breath. "He and Katie might not, but I'll try. Thanks-"

"Don't thank me," Mrs. Knight interrupted, her voice cool.

Kevin's eyebrows rose in an expression that couldn't completely convey his surprise.

"You still need to see him," she said. "I can't promise that he'll come, but he's thinking about it. And you still need to see his friends too; I don't know when that's going to happen. Ronan hasn't told them about it yet, but I know he's going to do it soon. He can't keep something like this from them for so long." She gave a slow smile, a slightly sinister one. "Don't be surprised if they don't want to talk to you either."

"After seeing the way that they looked at me at the trial, I don't think I want to get stuck in a dark corner with them," Kevin said innocently.

"You didn't have to defend him," Mrs. Knight said calmly.

"I was doing my job!" Kevin was annoyed once more. He held up a hand and turned away from her, sucking in a quick deep breath. "I didn't exactly agree with what he was doing, but I knew the guy, I talked to him. I _saw_ the look on his face. He didn't mean anything that he was doing; he had been treated the same way when he was a kid, mentally and emotionally abused. If he had gotten help when he was young, nothing would have happened to those kids."

"What about you?" Mrs. Knight challenged.

Kevin ignored her, turning back to her. "I'll do my best with everything, but I can't guarantee anything great is going to happen." He bobbed his head back and forth. "I'll try to get their money back. It's the best that I can do for them, other than apologize for what happened to them."

Mrs. Knight nodded. "That's all I ask." She heaved her bag up over her shoulder and started to root around in it. She pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it over to him. "Here's Kendall's number…in case you need to reach him. I'll give him yours too."

Kevin took the paper, his green eyes staring hard at the numbers that made up the only connection to his son. Flipping it over, he saw Katie's number on the back as well. He wasn't sure what would happen if he tried to talk to his daughter. She barely remembered anything about him from what she could tell. She looked at him like he was a stranger at the trial.

Mrs. Knight turned to leave.

"Kacey, wait." He paused. "Would you….give Kendall a note for me?"

Mrs. Knight hesitated before nodded.

Kevin sat down at his desk and started to sribble out a note to Kendall. When he was finished, he folded it up and placed it into Mrs. Knight's hand. When she took it, he gave her a warm smile, causing her to give a tiny one back, before leaving his office. Kevin sighed and went back to his computer.

Hopefully this would work.

* * *

**A/N: **Much needed BTR bonding moment.I needed to have Mrs. Knight and Kevin come face to face one more time before Kendall and Kevin. The Jacksons are going to have moments with Kevin as well; I have a lot of different moments planned for this story.

I'm gonna try and do a good balance of everyone as the story goes on as they're all important, though the Knight family (Kendall mainly, Kevin, Mrs. Knight, and Katie) need to have bigger parts. I'm going to try my best to balance that as well as Kiley moments. I hope you guys liked the chapter.

_Constructive Criticism is welcome._

Cheers,

-Riles


	13. Golf Games and Hearts of Gold

**.:Chapter 13:.**

* * *

_Scorpio is loving and sensitive by nature, but if they are wronged by those they love they may become cold and vengeful. As a Virgo, you are actually a sensitive person; you just choose not to show this._

* * *

"FORE!"

Kendall watched his arms over his chest and his hands in his armpits, as Noah swung his golf club into the ball that sat on the little tee nestled in between his feet. It managed to get up into the air, but didn't sail too far away from where they were standing. Kendall snickered to himself before rubbing the back of his neck. Noah frowned, setting his golf club on the ground.

"Uh, Noah?" Kendall stepped up next to his friend. "I told you that you didn't have to yell 'fore' every time you hit the ball." He grinned, trying not to laugh out loud. "Only when you're about to hit someone."

Noah bobbed his head, turning to Kendall. "I know," he said, seriously. "I'm just so bad that I figured I'd warn everyone each time I hit the ball." Gesturing with his club, he pointed to the ball that was only thirty feet away from them. "You never know, a duck could have been crossing the green and could have gotten hit by my ball."

"I don't think any of us are in danger of that," Kendall said. He finally burst out laughing. "Or any ducks for that matter." Hen nudged Noah out of the way with his own golf club and set up his own golf ball onto the tee. Kendall lined his club up with the golf ball, being sure to keep his head down. He lifted his gaze to look across the putting green a few times, and then settled his head back down to his own tee and ball. He shifted his hands on the club and shuffled his feet. Taking a deep breath, he brought his golf club back, keeping his head down.

As he brought the club down with as much speed and force he could muster, the sound of a golf cart pulling up to where he and Noah were putting caused him to lose his concentration. He let out a frustrated cry when the club managed to hit the bottom of the tee, managing to snag the ground and fling a pile of dirt and grass into the air as well. Frustrated, Kendall turned and glared at Noah, who mockingly started to clap at him. "That's not funny."

"It's funny to me," Noah said with a grin.

Kendall rolled his eyes. _Yeah, they're all definitely related. _Raising a hand above his eyebrows, he shielded his face from the sun to see who had pulled up behind them. Kendall's mouth dropped open for a second before it closed and his eyebrows lowered in a glare as he watched his father pull a bag of golf cubs out of the back of his golf cart. Kevin turned and stopped short when he spotted his son. The two Knights looked at each other. Noah looked back and forth between father and son, curiously looking the two of them over, but wisely deciding to stay out of the inevitable confrontation.

"Hey son," Kevin greeted after a second. He hitched his bag up over his shoulder. "Didn't know that you were going to be here." He shifted his eyes over to Noah and he nodded at him, Noah lifted his chin in a slight nod back, before obviously looking the man up and down.

"I didn't know that you were going to be here, either," Kendall replied. He crossed his arms over his chest, slightly turning away from him. "Though I'm sure that even if you told me you'd find some way to run off when my back was turned, right?" His lips curled at the corner as he saw his father's roll of his eyes out of the corner of his eye.

"You're not going to stop punishing me about that are you?" Kevin set his bag up on the green beside them.

"Do you think he would?" Both Knights turned to Noah, who had spoken up. His hands were shoved into his jeans pockets, but he was looking directly at Kevin, his eyes narrowed slightly. "Things like what you did; leaving your family…it can be very traumatizing." His eyes flashed, though he still spoke with a cool confidence. "Just as defending a child abuser can be, yeah?" He crossed his arms over his chest for a moment before resting them on his hips. "Then again, I can see how you may have been torn on that. Being your job and everything."

Kendall smiled to himself, easily detecting the condescending tone that was hidden underneath the cool confidence. _I'm glad someone understands. _He lifted his gaze back to Kevin, his eyebrows twitching up as he smiled. Kevin studied Noah carefully, and then seemed to dismiss him, turning back to Kendall. "What?" It came out with more bite than Kendall intended, though the surprised look that flashed through Kevin's eyes was worth it.

"Your Mom tells me that you wanted to come see me," Kevin said slowly. Kendall stiffened for a moment, remembering that he hadn't told the Jacksons what was going on with Robert. He was waiting for the right time to mention it, if Ronan didn't get to it soon. "Willing? I'm a bit surprised, honestly. Though I'm not sure if you wanted to see me for the reason that I called you."

Kendall clenched his hands into fists. All of a sudden, he felt nothing but pure anger. That was what he didn't want…the last thing he wanted to be able to do, to have his father still have that hold on him. He wanted to be able to have the chance to walk straight into his office and act aloof, not letting anything that his father said or what he had done before get to him. But standing here, now, knowing everything he knew…having to look his father right in the face and have him do the same thing that he planned-probably due to being a lawyer that was good at masking his feelings-it infuriated him.

"What other reason could I possibly have to want to see you?" Kendall said through clenched teeth, trying his best to keep his anger in check. He already had problems with it back in Minnesota, something that Carlos was being blamed for. Besides, if he struck his father, or got in his face, he knew what would happen…unfortunately he had inherited his temper from his father…possibly from his mother as well. Either way, anger and frustration did not bode well for any member of the Knight family. "Last I checked you're just my lawyer."

Kevin let out a huff of annoyance, seeming to already be done with the conversation. "Kendall, I know that things have been really bad between us these past couple of years. Between your mother and me and Katie too. But I want to be able to put that aside and start fresh."

Kendall slowly raised his eyebrows, releasing the tension that was in his body. He wasn't going to allow him the benefit of the doubt, not that easily. But still…he hadn't heard his father so sincere before. Even when he and Katie were kids, there was always a bit of suspicion laced in Kevin's tone whenever he would answer questions or talk to someone. Kendall was never sure why that tone was always there, even when they were having happy moments together. This was the very first time that Kevin had ever been so clear and Kendall was now the suspicious one. _Why would he wait so long to want to fix things? Is it because we're so big now? Maybe someone put him up to this; I wouldn't put it past him._

"I know you probably don't believe me," Kevin said, his eyes still on his son. "But I really do want things to be better. I'm trying…to be better than I was before. Yes, I have slip ups here and there, but I promise that things have changed." He shrugged, shaking his head. "I still have to talk to you about your contract and…" Kevin trailed off, suddenly turning his attention over to Noah.

_No. Please no. _Kendall squeezed his eyes shut.

"You're…Noah, right?" Kevin guessed.

Kendall glanced over at his raven haired friend. Noah's eyebrows twitched for a moment, but the apathetic expression on his face didn't change. After a long moment, Noah twisted his mouth to the side before replying. "That's me," he said. "I'm assuming that you were able to tell me apart from Patrick because it's 'part of your job'," Noah said, using air quotes around the words. When Kevin nodded, the corner of his mouth turned up into a smile. "Having to be able to study body language and everything." Kevin nodded again. "Then judging by your body language, you're extremely nervous…are trying to hide it…and aren't particularly glad that I can see right through it."

Kevin narrowed his eyes as he regarded Noah. Then he smiled, turning back to Kendall. "I like your friend," he said, to Kendall's surprise.

"So do I," Kendall replied. He looked at his watch and grabbed his golf club, walking it over to his bag. He jammed it inside, imagining his father's face on the other end of the club. He then took Noah's club from him and jammed it into the golf bag as well. Then he ripped off the glove from his right hand and threw it into the bag as well. "You ready to go?" He didn't give Noah a chance to answer before he picked up his bag and threw it into the back of the golf cart. Silently, Noah climbed into the driver's seat and started up the cart. He pulled away from the curb and started down the path, leaving Kevin behind them.

Kendall let out a weary sigh, leaning back against his seat, closing his eyes. He angled his face towards the sun, reaching up his right hand and grabbing onto the handle at the top of the cart. _That was close, _he thought. _If any of them found out before I could tell them…they'd probably hate me. _Kendall sat up, shaking his head.

"For the record," Noah spoke up. "I think that you should give him a chance. You don't know what he has to say."

"I don't _care _what he has to say," Kendall said sharply. "I don't care what he does. I only need to see him because, apparently, there's something potentially wrong with my contract that he has to look over. All he is to me now, is my lawyer, which is not my choice and that's it."

"Ok." Noah shrugged and continued driving along. He turned the wheel sharply to avoid the golf cart that was coming towards them on the other side of the road. "But you have to think of it this way; you can't expect everyone to know how you feel without having to explain it."

_Riles can, _Kendall thought. That was something that he really enjoyed about their friendship as well as being able to talk about everything, their competitive nature (though he hated to lose) and that she always told him what she thought, even if she was calling him out on his BS while defending him at the same time. He smiled to himself, but quickly wiped it off when Noah gave him a pointed look, seeming to know what he was thinking. _I seriously have no idea how they do that, but it's freaking scary. _"He can go fuck himself for all I care," Kendall said.

"No worries," Noah said. "You can do whatever you want."

"Thanks." Kendall sat up and looked in the direction that Noah was driving. He glanced over his shoulder before lowering his right arm. "Uh, Noah, you're going the wrong way," he said. "To get out of here, you need to go that way." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. Kendall's cry of shock ended in a grunt when Noah slammed on the breaks, causing him to fall forward.

"May bad." Noah started to reverse the car, and then stopped, freezing, at a loud crushing sound. Noah slowly looked over his shoulder and winced. "Hey, K-Dawg, how long have you had those clubs?"

"I don't know." Kendall shrugged. "Two years, why?"

Noah twisted his mouth to the side. "Next time I go to the mall, I'll buy you some new ones." He continued to back up so that he could turn around when he got to a good point on the path. Kendall watched as the cart moved to reveal what was left of his golf clubs sitting in a pile on the ground.

He laughed.

* * *

_Knock knock!_

"Come in!" Riley called. Sitting in the costume closet of Blazing Phoenix Records, Riley was taking a break from the cleaning that she was supposed to be doing to go through some of her e-mails. She noticed that she had an e-mail from Angel that she really needed to get back to as well as something from Kelly, her former sponsors and endorsers, as well as some spam. She noticed an e-mail from Kendall and made a mental note to look at it as soon as possible.

Lifting her head, Riley pushed her glasses up her nose, waiting to see who was coming in through the door. Her eyes lit up and she set her laptop aside when Logan came through the door. "Hey Logie-Bear," she greeted him. She jumped off of the couch and wrapped her arms around Logan's neck in a tight hug. "What're you doing here?" She brushed some of her hair behind her ears. "Normally you stick around Rocque Records." She turned on her heel and walked back over to the couch. "Come, sit!"

Logan gave her a funny look as he followed her and sat down on the other end of the couch. "You seem really…_happy_ today, Landy," he remarked. The odd look relaxed into a smile. "It's refreshing to see you in a good mood, actually." He reached out and poked her on the tip of her nose. "I haven't seen you smile like that in a while."

"What can I say?" Riley shrugged. "Life is getting better, my career is going well, and my fans are cool. I have my family, my friends, and my boys." She dropped her hands into her lap, resting her cheek in her hand, her elbow on the back of the couch. "So what can I do for you, Baby Face?"

Logan gave her a fierce look before rolling his eyes. Just another one of the many nicknames that she gave out. It was a trait that she and her siblings all had, giving their friends and family nicknames. Riley was the only one that gave nicknames about something that someone may be insecure about in a way to show that the person had to deal with their insecurity and she would help them through it. "I came by to see if you made any headway with my outfit for the event we're going to."

Riley blinked at him. "What event?"

Logan slightly turned his head away as he looked at her. "The Young Hollywood event, remember?"

Riley racked her brain, trying to remember. To be honest, she wasn't even sure why she was still dressing the guys. Not that she didn't like it-or getting a screaming phone call from Gustavo last minute demanding that she worked for him-or enjoy being able to pull bits and pieces together that worked well in encompassing the boys' personalities. She wasn't officially their stylist, after her contract ran out after _Elevate _had been released, Gustavo hired two other stylists for them. However, it seemed that every time she turned her back, thinking that she was free to start focusing solely on her band's own styles, he would call her up again asking if she would style the guys for an event. Every now and then Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James would ask her to style them for a date or just get an opinion on what they were wearing in general.

Most times, Riley would give them unsolicited advice by looking at them the first time that day, but since she wasn't being paid for it anymore, she dropped it down to a look of horror-when needed-or dismissing it all together. She had styled them for so long, having to work around her schedule, her band's schedule, as well as working out of the two costume closets that always seemed to get messed up, she wondered how she was able to keep it all straight. When did she say that she was going to dress them for the Young Hollywood event?

Thinking about it now, she couldn't even remember much from the past couple of days. She resisted the urge to yawn, knowing that she would have to admit the reason why her memory hadn't been so great the past couple of days. If she admitted that, then she would have to admit to Ronan what was going on, then she would have to try another form of sleeping aids or medication in general. She hated the way it made her felt, like there was nothing there…she didn't get particularly excited or upset, she just went through the day and it was a terrible feeling.

Riley shook her head, running a hand through her hair. "Must've slipped my mind," she murmured.

"Well, if you don't have the time-"Logan started to get up from the couch. Riley reached out a hand and grabbed his wrist, forcing him back down onto the couch. She reached out and pinched his cheek, smirking, knowing that he hated it whenever she did that. He grimaced, slapping her hand away.

"Nothing that I'm doing right now is more important than you, Logie-Bear," she said. She got to her feet once more and motioned for Logan to stand up. Bringing a hand to her chin, she walked around him in a circle, looking him up and down. "Ok, so what I'm thinking is that we may want to take the attention away from your…ah…face?" She phrased it like a question, not sure how he was going to react to it.

Logan placed his hands on his hips. "I didn't gain that much weight," he protested. "It's hard to go from being on tour and working out every day to sit around and wait for new music to be made up and-"He broke off when Riley held a hand up in front of his face, effectively cutting him off.

"I didn't mean anything by it," she said, then crossed her arms over her chest. "I was just saying. I know how hard staying in shape after a tour can be, yeah?" She walked over to a rack that was labeled with his name and pulled hangers aside. _Like I don't know what that means, _Riley thought. She pulled a hanger off of the rack and looked over the shirt hanging in front of her face. "So what brought up that little…squick in your tone?"

Logan laughed at her word choice, and then shrugged. "It's nothing, really…" he trailed off, kicking at the ground.

_Here we go. _Riley rolled her eyes, wondering why she decided to ask what was wrong. Yeah, she was being a good friend and did care what was bothering him, but as soon as he started to talk like that, she knew that he was going to explain some other fight or tiff or drama that he and Camille had gotten into. There was only so long that she could listen to it before she wanted to shoot herself in the forehead. Not being one that particularly enjoyed drama-depending on the topic-she got tired of it pretty quickly. And this had been going on ever since she met up with him again, two years prior. All of a sudden, she felt irrationally annoyed.

"Just something that Camille mentioned-"

"Honestly, Logan, I don't give a fuck," Riley interrupted. She tossed the shirt aside and started to look through the rack once more. "I was just asking to be polite; I really could care less about your constant whinging of yours and Camille's drama. Either you're with her or you're not and your constant breaking up and getting back together is getting on my last fucking nerve." She started to speak rapidly as she continued. "And, frankly, I could give a shit of who you end up with, between her and my sister just as long as my sister is happy. The only thing that you need to know is that if you hurt my sister in some way, like, if you really hurt her, I'll hit you so hard that you'll be sneezing out of your belly button!" She turned around, holding onto a pair of pants.

Logan blinked at her, not sure how to react to it. He was used to her saying the first thing that came to mind and he was used to it coming out in a bit of a harsh way, but she never particularly directed it at him. She usually directed it at people that were getting on her nerves-which was quite easy-those that were speaking badly about her family and friends, to people she didn't particularly trust, and people she just didn't respect in general. She had been like that when he and the rest of Big Time Rush had met her when they were sixteen (though for him it was re-meeting her) as a defense mechanism and a shield to keep people from getting too close to her. She had gotten better at it over the past two years, her aggressiveness toning down enough so that it was noticeable and she laughed and smiled more, however, she was still as judgmental as always.

He typically admired her for saying the first thing that came to mind and not being afraid to do so, other times he felt that she could go a bit too far with it.

"What?" Riley asked, noticing him staring at her. There was a slight edge to her tone that his aversion of his gaze let her know he noticed.

Riley scowled, her good mood immediately doing a complete one-eighty.

She knew what he was thinking. She didn't mean to be so…honest like that, but there really was only so much that she could take. Quite frankly, she didn't really care about anyone's relationship drama, she hated relationship drama and thought complaining about it rather than doing something about it was a complete waste of time. That was one of the main driving points behind helping Kendall get over Jo. It was nothing short of pathetic for her, to see him lie around everywhere moping over a break up. They were young, there were going to be plenty other people to break up with. Another reason she had spent so much time trying to get him over it was because she wanted to find a way to pay him back for everything that he had done for her and her family…without having to come out and actually thank him for it. Plus, the two were becoming really good friends at that point, she was able to slowly lower her walls and found that she had a lot in common with Kendall, no matter how easily he got on her nerves. Though Riley was, in part, a hypocrite when it came to relationship drama. She and her family had a rule that they couldn't meddle in each other's love lives but could give advice. They hardly listened to the advice, but were always quick to give it.

"Nothing," Logan replied finally. "Nothing." He took the pants that Riley was holding out to him and started to unbutton his jeans.

Riley smiled to herself as she waited for him to change, remembering the first time that he had worked with her as their official stylist. The four guys were embarrassed at first when she had told them to strip down to their underwear so that she could get some good measurements as well as to start dressing them as quickly as possible. Logan, Carlos, and Kendall had quickly tried to cover their nipples and their fronts with both hands. James, instead, used both of his hands to cover his front, obviously having no problems wanting to show off his body. It took them about three or four times going to her as their stylist before they got comfortable enough with her to stop blushing and trying to cover themselves.

"You don't sound very convincing," Riley remarked, lazily resting her arm on the rack beside her. She flipped her pigtails behind her shoulders and scratched the side of her neck. She waited until he had his pants on before she walked closer to him and started to inspect the in-seam as well as how the pants flared around his legs and waist.

"Well, what would I do?" Logan held his arms out to the side. Riley walked around him with a measuring tape. "If I wanted to go out with Rhu, I mean?

"Ask her to go wakeboarding," Riley suggested with massive amounts of 'duh' in her voice. "You haven't done it in a while and we were planning on going to the lake soon, anyway." She stepped back away from him and grabbed a pen from behind her ear, writing measurements down on a clipboard that seemed to materialize out of thin air.

Logan grimaced. "Why don't you ask her for me?"

Riley gave him a funny look. "Why would I ask my sister out on a date? I mean, it may be ok in some parts of the US, but in Oz, that's generally frowned upon." She turned her back on him to pick out a couple of shirts as Logan laughed. "Glad I could make you smile, but I was being serious." She poked her head out between an alcove of clothes, her hair falling into her face. She blew her red strand of hair out of her eyes, frowning when it fell back into its place. "You need to take some initiative sometime; I can't do everything for you. God knows I gave you enough time alone to do it."

"You mean enough time alone so that you could hang out with Kendall," Logan teased.

Riley raised and lowered her right shoulder in a shrug, not bothering to deny it. "So I like to spend time with him, boofhead. So sue me." She gave him a critical look. "And don't even think about asking what's going on between us, I get enough of that from our fans as it is."

"You have to admit though," Logan said. He rolled up the sleeves on his dress shirt and held his arms up and Riley looped a belt around his waist. She never was one that was afraid to get into someone else's personal space, especially when being confrontational. "You guys aren't just friends."

"Uh, duh." Riley pushed her hair out of her face with both hands. "That's been obvious for a while. We're not just friends, but we're not dating either."

"Do you want to?"

_There's a somewhat complicatedly loaded question. _With a wicked smile, Riley backed away from Logan and slapped him on the ass, causing him to cry out in pain. "That's none of your business." She and Logan went through four more outfits, and a couple minutes of Logan's complaining about her not being able to make up her mind, which Riley returned by saying that perfection couldn't be rushed, with another slap to the butt, before they came up with a look for him. Logan was putting his clothes back on when Riley's phone buzzed with a 'bling' noise, letting her know that she had gotten a text.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" He prompted her, zipping up the fly of his jeans before buttoning them again.

"It's probably Hockey-Head," Riley said dismissively. She was perched on the arm of the couch, her gaze resting on her laptop once more. "Knowing my luck, he has something to complain about too. Maybe the Wild lost another game or something?" She smiled to herself. At Logan's silence, she looked up to see that he was looking intently at her. "What?"

"Landy, sometimes I wonder if you ever even try to hear what you say before you say it," he said. "'Cause, honestly, as awesome of a person as you are, sometimes you come off like a jerk. And it just makes me wonder if the rumors are true." Riley frowned, her jaw dropping slightly.

"Well, _excuse me _for not liking to keep everything bottled up!" She snapped, her cheeks starting to flush. _Ironic much? _She stared hard at him until he looked away from her. It was good that he didn't know what she was thinking. He would call her out on it in a second and that would just put her in her place even more. She hated that. She knew he was right. But she hated it all the same.

"I get that," Logan said. "And I've known that about you since we were kids. I just don't understand why, after all this happened, you still want to push us away." He let her think about it for a moment. "I have to go, I'll see you later." He leaned over and gave her a gentle hug around the shoulders, which she did _not_ return.

Riley sat on the arm of the couch, frowning at her computer screen for a while. She wasn't even looking at the screen anymore, everything Logan had said swirled through her head. It wasn't the first time that she had heard that she was a jerk and it probably wasn't going to be the last time she was called a jerk. It didn't bother her, most of the time, she didn't care what people thought of her. Right? Right! _No one's opinion but yours matters. _Riley's shoulders slumped.

She could tell herself that a million times, tell herself that she was strong, tough, and that the façade she put up was her real self, but when it all came down it it…hearing it from one of her closest friends…from one of hers and Rhuben's_ boys…_she cared so much more than she was willing to admit.

Riley gathered her things together and picked up her laptop. She left the costume closet, locking the door behind her, and walked to the front desk. She gave the keys to Annaleigh, the receptionist of Blazing Phoenix, and quickly walked to her car. She put her things into the backseat, briefly noticing that she still had Kendall's sweatshirt. Pressing a hand to the door, she felt a surge of anger rise through her and she let out a scream of frustration as she slammed the door shut. Riley got into the driver's seat and turned on the car with a hard twist of her wrist. Her fingers started to turn white where her fingers gripped them.

Reversing out of the space so fast that her tires squealed when she braked, she spun the wheel and raced home. In the back of her mind, she knew that she was going too fast, even faster than she usually drove. Trees, houses, other cars, pedestrians on sidewalks whizzed by so fast that she barely registered them. Her chest heaved up and down; pain clenched her heart as strongly as she was holding onto the steering wheel. Her fingers started to throb, however she barely felt it, focusing only on trying to get away from the words that constantly surrounded her. When she neared her house that was when the tears started to fall.

_God, you're so pathetic, Riles. Stop crying. You're tougher than that. _Riley pulled into the driveway, being careful not to hit Ronan's car. Turning the car off took a couple of minutes, her hands were shaking and she was on the verge of hyperventilating. Dropping her keys to the ground, she leaned forward and rested her head on the steering wheel. Sucking in a deep breath, she let out a loud scream before starting to cry. Sitting in the car, she let all of her frustration out, waiting for the pain in her chest to go away. She was used to it; it was going to take a while. She lowered her gaze and looked at her phone that was resting in her lap. Lifting it up in her hand, she wondered whether or not she should text Kendall, to tell him what was going on. A big part of her did, knowing that he would be able to help her like he had the morning she woke up in the apartment.

Riley had woken up and immediately knew that she wasn't where she was supposed to be. That feeling always scared her. That was her biggest fear, not knowing. Being in an unfamiliar place always set her on edge, there were so many times that she and her siblings, when they were still with Robert, that she and Rhuben would take their brothers and try to get away. They would end up in parks, shelters, any place that they could find. It was always jarring whenever they would wake up and remember that they weren't in their home, not knowing how close Robert was. He always found them. That overwhelming feeling of dread caused Riley to sit up, briefly panicking. She recognized the room as Kendall's and Logan's, but not remembering how and why she was there wasn't letting her think clearly. Riley rolled out of the bed and quickly shuffled underneath it, backing up as fast as she could, holding her hand by her mouth.

Stay quiet and he won't find you. That was something that was drilled into hers and her siblings' heads. Now that Robert was gone, she found herself ashamed of thinking those thoughts. Life was better for her, so why did she always see everything as black and white? Because she was realistic. She knew that everything could be taken away in a minute and had been very aware of that for as long as she could remember, she always lived each day to the fullest, it was why she was so close with her family, for a while her reality was that they could be taken away from her.

Riley closed her eyes when she heard the door to the room gently open. She could hear footsteps walk around the bed and then stop and go back to the door. Then she heard Katie's voice. "She's not in here!"

A second later, Riley could hear Kendall walking over; she could always distinguish the boys' footsteps from each other. She heard him say something to Katie and then went through the room. First, he checked the closet, and then stopped, as if scanning the room. After a second, she could see his feet appear in front of her face before he lowered himself to the floor. Pulling back the cover that reached the floor, Kendall smiled at her. That caught her a bit off guard; she expected a worried look, concern of some sort, but not a comforting smile.

"Hey," he greeted her.

"Hey," she whispered.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

Kendall rested his arms under his chin, getting comfortable. He didn't move closer to her, but he didn't move away from her either. That was comforting, she realized. He was waiting for her to get to become comfortable around him…just like he had done before, when he constantly asked her and her siblings if they were friends. He waited for them to be comfortable enough to admit that they were friends while showing that he was a support for them. Riley slowly removed her hand from her mouth.

"Did you have a bad dream?" He continued.

"No…" Riley said slowly. She started to rub her arm. "I just…I don't know." She lowered her gaze for a moment. When she returned her gaze, she saw his green eyes move from her lips to look right in her eyes. He smiled warmly at her.

"It's ok," he prompted. "Take your time."

_Tell him. _Riley was suddenly reminded of how they were able to talk about anything. And they _were_ able to talk about anything, from the weird to the disgusting to the nice and happy, she never felt weird telling him what was going on with her, never hesitating to share her achievements and was glad that he did the same. This was something more dangerous though…something that could potentially draw a line in their friendship that could never be erased.

She wasn't ready.

Not yet.

"You know…" she started to rub her arm faster. "Besides my family…you're the only person I can trust."

Kendall blinked, his eyebrows lowering. "You can trust the guys…and Katie…and my Mom and the girls too," he reminded her.

Riley briefly closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she felt better. "You're right, Hockey-Head," she said. She noticed him smile a little at the use of the nickname. "But…something's different about you..."

"What's that?"

"What do you think?" she returned. Kendall's smile widened and he extended his hand towards her. Riley pulled hers back for a moment before sticking hers out as well. When it was close enough, Kendall firmly grabbed onto her hand, enclosing his tightly over hers. Riley squeezed his hand back and slowly crawled out from underneath his bed, ducking her head low so that she didn't smack it on the metal frame.

Then she gave him a hug, grabbed her surfboard, and left the PalmWoods to get back to her house, knowing Ronan was going to be upset. She and her siblings had stayed over at the crib before with no problems, it was that she had fallen asleep and didn't call that was going to be a problem, she knew that for sure. They were always responsible enough to let Ronan know where they were going at all times so even if Mrs. Knight had called to explain; Riley knew that he was going to be a little bit disappointed. She didn't want him to be disappointed.

She didn't want Kendall to be disappointed either. Not even Logan, Carlos, or James, she never told them, but she thought the world of them, though of them as her own family. If something happened to one of them, it affected everyone. She didn't want to be the reason for something so miniscule. Riley clenched her hand around her phone before sending a quick text and picking up her keys. Lifting her head from the steering wheel, she grabbed her keys, phone, laptop, and Kendall's sweatshirt, and got out of the car. She walked up to the porch steps and quietly went inside.

"Hi, Ri-Ri!" Sydney greeted her as he walked by, holding onto a bowl of ice cream. He stopped and when he got a good look at her face, he immediately frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Riley wiped at her eyes, trying to cover the tear tracks that fell down her cheeks. She turned away from Sydney and started to take off her shoes. She could hear him going off down the hall, calling for Ronan as he went.

"Ronan!"

"What?" Ronan shouted back from somewhere in the house.

"It's Riley!"

"What about her?"

"She's crying!"

Riley sighed, her shoulders slumping when she heard her father's footsteps getting closer. There was no point in trying to hide it from him; he always knew everything on matter how hard any of them tried to hide it. "What's going on, Ripcurl?" He sat down on the bottom steps of the staircase, waiting for her to calm down.

Riley sniffed and brushed her hands over her eyes. "Ronan?" She turned to him and bit her lower lip, looking at her feet. She rubbed her arm, ran a hand through her hair, shuffled her feet, twisted her fingers, and rubbed her arm once more. Throughout her movements, Ronan waited quietly. "Am I jerk?"

Ronan frowned, and then gave her a soft smile. "I don't think so," he said. "But…" He was one that always told the truth, even if it had a possibility of hurting someone. He found it to be better when it came to dealing with his adopted kids and their problems, they liked to hear things straight and he liked to tell things straight. "There are going to be some people that think you are, because they can't mesh with your personality or because they only see your image. What they don't get though is that…you're a jerk with a heart of gold."

Riley crossed her arms over her chest. "Thanks?"

"It's a good thing," Ronan reassured her. He reached out and brushed the tears off of her cheeks. "It describes your perfectly. You don't like to be hurt just as much as you don't like to hurt other people." He cupped her face in his hands so she was looking directly at him. "You have one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen and it's a shame that not more people get to see it."

Riley started to smile a little.

"It's like one of the exercises that Angel told you about," Ronan continued. "Turn a negative into a positive. You guys are usually good at that, but I want to be sure that you remember it."

Riley pulled her hair out of her face, wrapping her arms around her father in a hug.


End file.
